# Last Words **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 16, 2000, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902 "2000-02-16T09:40:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nu\_Vo\_Da\_Da](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@Nu\_Vo\_Da\_Da](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nu_Vo_Da_Da)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/21 "2000-02-16T17:25:00Z")
For the past few years I have been poisoning your food, but don’t worry, the antidote is in…in the… ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/22 "2000-02-16T17:49:00Z")
Would you consider the climactic moans of an orgasm to be last words? It’s always how I wanted to die… If not, I’ll say, “Oh God… Oh God… Oh God…” * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/23 "2000-02-16T17:55:00Z")
Sorry, can’t resist: Anybody read the Icelandic sagas ? ## In Njals saga, a warrior is told to climb a roof, look through a hole and see if “Gunnar” is home. He climbs, he looks, and he immediately falls from the roof, blleding from an axe wound in the head. When asked “Was Gunnar there ?”, he simply replies: “I can’t tell for sure. But his axe was.” - and dies. Now, if one could be as cool as that… # Norman. Worrying is the thinking man’s form of meditation. ---
**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/24 "2000-02-16T20:48:00Z")
I gotta side with Polycarp here. . . though I’d start singing “Life Is A Lemon And I Want My Money Back” by Meat Loaf. 🙂 – Sylence * * * If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings. - Tokugawa Ieyasu ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/25 "2000-02-16T20:52:00Z")
“The nourishment is palatable.” * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/26 "2000-02-16T20:55:00Z")
I am now going to start a worm farm. ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/27 "2000-02-16T21:02:00Z")
“Who is this guy dressed and red? And why does he keep prodding me with a farming impliment?” Or “I see death approaching, and whoa, is she a babe.” * * * \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/28 "2000-02-16T21:10:00Z")
Ike, you’re weird? Millard Fillmore? I always thought it would be funny to go out acting like Red Foxx in Sanford and Son, “oh…oh…Here I come baby…” * * * **What I tell you three times is true.** _The Hunting of the Snark._ Lewis Carroll ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/29 "2000-02-16T21:15:00Z")
Personally, I’d like to go out as ironically as General John Sedgewick. Upon seeing his troops driven back by sporadic sniper fire, General Sedgewick rode to the front and shouted, “Come back to the line, you cowards! They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist” * * * JMCJ Winner of the _Mr. & Mrs. Polycarp Award for Literalizing Cliches_ for knowing an actual atheist in a foxhole. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/30 "2000-02-16T21:20:00Z")
[huffily] There is nothing WEIRD about Millard Fillmore, my good man. He was…a remarkable man. [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_107.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_107.html) * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/31 "2000-02-16T21:28:00Z")
Ah, Millard Filmore. His generation’s Patrick Buchanan. * * * JMCJ Winner of the _Mr. & Mrs. Polycarp Award for Literalizing Cliches_ for knowing an actual atheist in a foxhole. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/32 "2000-02-16T21:51:00Z")
Cecil said: > [@](#): > > Taylor won the election by taking advantage of a squabble between the Democrats and the “Free Soil” Party over the slavery question. He refused to say anything about the issues at all, anticipating the technique of modern politics by over one hundred years. But sadly, Taylor died in office after eating too many strawberries on a warm day. This left the ship of state in Millard Fillmore’s trembling hands. LMAO! Thanks Ike! 😉 * * * **What I tell you three times is true.** _The Hunting of the Snark._ Lewis Carroll ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/33 "2000-02-16T21:55:00Z")
Aw Shit! Or if I was to play this straight: “I love you”. * * * VB I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/34 "2000-02-16T23:56:00Z")
Watch this, I saw it done on a cartoon once. ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/35 "2000-02-17T00:01:00Z")
I drank what?!? (-socrates 🙂 Moose. Indian. (-Hemmingway I think) Mine’s most likely to be “Oh shit” or at least “Oh”. Based off of my last reaction to impending death. (Taking a turn on I-5 at 70 mph in the rain. Almost.) * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) Clerks - Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/36 "2000-02-17T00:31:00Z")
“Now you see me, now you-” * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/37 "2000-02-17T00:32:00Z")
Actually, knowing me, my last words are going to be “Trust me. I know exactly what I’m doing.” * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/38 "2000-02-17T00:35:00Z")
_Motioning Loved one over…then reaching up feebly laying a hand on their shoulder and whispering as I die_ “Tag, your it.” (This is basically something that really happened, I believe it involved the Parker Brothers, of the game company, but I might be wrong.) * * * \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/39 "2000-02-17T01:12:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Moose. Indian. > (-Hemmingway I think) Thoreau. ## This is sick, but I’ll tell it anyway. People pull this sometimes on film sets. Get a dollar bill, stretch it tight between your hands, and “flap” it repeatedly. Sorry, I can’t think of a better way to describle that. It will make a sound arguably like helicopter blades. Ask, “What’s this?..The last thing Victor Morrow ever heard.” Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together. —Red Green ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902/40 "2000-02-17T01:23:00Z")
“You people of Earth are stupid! Stupid, I say! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Hehehehehe…boy, _that_ would leave my loved ones thinking. Except my mom. She’d laugh her ass off. * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-words/13902.md?page=3)