# Latest Chick tract: "Poor Little Lamb"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [January 3, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171 "2008-01-03T19:58:17Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/21 "2008-01-05T15:22:49Z")

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[QUOTE=mobo85]  
What’s the Hebrew word for “whoosh?”  
[/QUOTE]  
You took the “whoosh” right outa’ my mouth!

* * *

(“What is the name of this posting member?”)

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**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/22 "2008-01-05T16:25:20Z")

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I like how Jack Chick’s vision of a representative crowd of unbelievers includes a strabisimic dwarf in a witch hat, an aging biker, a British ad executive, and Anne Coulter. Jack must live in a very odd neighborhood.

Honestly, is the classic witch hat really a typical item of apparel anywhere in the world these days? Personally I think it’s long overdue for a comeback, but Madison Avenue stubbornly continues to disagree.

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**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/23 "2008-01-05T16:35:38Z")

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[QUOTE=Cervaise]  
Don’t tell **Hal.**

Because he will want to have sex with it, you see.

Haw haw haw!  
[/QUOTE]

Do you think **Hal** is some kind of pervert? Lambs are underage and I’m sure Hal would never do something disgusting like that. He only has sex with adult sheep.

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**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/24 "2008-01-05T18:59:43Z")

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One bit of unresolved drama from this story: did Fang convert that scorpion?

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/25 "2008-01-06T00:08:25Z")

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And somehow I doubt that the Israelites of the Old Testament sounded like old Mr. Finklestein at the deli on the corner. “I should waste a lamb on _Moses_?”

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/26 "2008-01-06T00:42:08Z")

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So now Chick is telling kids to torture animals?

And what if someone’s parent doesn’t have a lamb to sacrifice? So it’s like, “Oh, too bad, so sad, I’ll kill your son, you cheap bastard?”

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**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/27 "2008-01-06T01:49:57Z")

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[QUOTE=Guinastasia]  
So now Chick is telling kids to torture animals?  
[/QUOTE]

Most Christians believe Jesus’s sacrifice voided the parts of the Old Testament which speak about sacrificing animals.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/28 "2008-01-06T02:02:30Z")

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[QUOTE=mobo85]  
Most Christians believe Jesus’s sacrifice voided the parts of the Old Testament which speak about sacrificing animals.  
[/QUOTE]

Probably should have included a 😉

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**Author:** ![Othar\_the\_Tooth\_Collector](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Othar\_the\_Tooth\_Collector](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othar_the_Tooth_Collector)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/29 "2008-01-06T02:50:29Z")

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This is all wrong. Actually, the Egyptians were punished for grinding up their children’s teeth to use in folk medicines when they fell out, instead of leaving them as an offering. The Jews were spared because they did not perform this abominable practice. Moses had nothing to do with it.

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**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/30 "2008-01-06T04:24:09Z")

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Ya know…

I have laughed at Chick for many years. But the truth is, the man is really mentally disturbed. Quite badly so.

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**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/31 "2008-01-06T05:13:08Z")

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Pretty feeble. Maybe Jack’s writers are WGA and he wrote this one himself?

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**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/32 "2008-01-06T07:16:06Z")

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[QUOTE=Biffy the Elephant Shrew]  
And, no, I _don’t_ think live frogs are bad. I always thought that was a really feeble excuse for a plague.  
[/QUOTE]  
Then you obviously didn’t go to Jewish Community Center summer camp the year of the drought, when we had to shower (in an open, locker room-style shower) filled with _hundreds and hundreds_ of tiny frogs. Ewww.

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**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/33 "2008-01-06T13:25:33Z")

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[QUOTE=SpoilerVirgin]  
Then you obviously didn’t go to Jewish Community Center summer camp the year of the drought, when we had to shower (in an open, locker room-style shower) filled with _hundreds and hundreds_ of tiny frogs. Ewww.  
[/QUOTE]  
So what did the Jewish Community Center do to deserve a plague that year?

Did you try painting the building with blood? Did it help?

Remember, Jesus died on the cross so you wouldn’t have to shower with frogs!

This message was sponsored by Batrachaphobic Jews for Jesus.

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/34 "2008-01-06T13:51:54Z")

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[QUOTE=Larry Borgia]  
I see Julie and Pete, but where’s Linc?

ETA: Never mind [here he is.](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1046/1046_01.asp?wpc=1046_01.asp&wpp=a)  
[/QUOTE]

This took me so long to get this-- I had to actually click the link-- that if the opportunity ever arose, I’d have to tell Captain Greer that I was too stupid to work with him.

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**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/35 "2008-01-06T14:05:37Z")

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[QUOTE=Cervaise]  
Don’t tell **Hal.**

Because he will want to have sex with it, you see.

Because of that one thread that got started that one time, that made it look like **Hal** enjoys having sex with sheep.

Which presumably includes lambs.

And therefore, another joke about **Hal** wanting to have sex with an adorable sheep will be funny!

Haw haw haw!  
[/QUOTE]  
Free Bird!

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**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/36 "2008-01-06T16:47:59Z")

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[QUOTE=SpoilerVirgin]  
Then you obviously didn’t go to Jewish Community Center summer camp the year of the drought, when we had to shower (in an open, locker room-style shower) filled with _hundreds and hundreds_ of tiny frogs. Ewww.  
[/QUOTE]

At the age I was when I first read about the plagues in my Illustrated Bible Stories book, I would have thought that was absolutely bitchen.

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**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2008, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/37 "2008-01-07T02:15:29Z")

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[QUOTE=Terrifel]  
So what did the Jewish Community Center do to deserve a plague that year?  
[/QUOTE]  
You know, that never even occurred to me. Maybe it was God’s wrath raining down upon some of the horrid little beasts (i.e. 13-year-old girls) in my cabin – the ones who liked to play the “hand in warm water” trick (fortunately it never worked on me) and make fun of my table manners.

> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#):
>
> At the age I was when I first read about the plagues in my Illustrated Bible Stories book, I would have thought that was absolutely bitchen.

Maybe on the first day, but after a few weeks, it really gets old.

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**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/38 "2008-01-07T03:15:32Z")

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[QUOTE=CalMeacham]  
Nahhh – Moses looks like Charlton Heston, as he should.  
Pharaoh doesn’t look like Yul Brynner, though. With that chin, he looks more like Jay Leno. (“Hey, Kevin – How many plagues does it take to stop a Hittite?”)  
[/QUOTE]

I say he looks like Black Adam, the most powerful of the foes of the original Captain Marvel.

[**See**](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Blackadamorigin.png) what I mean?

* * *

(Copy and paste my name here!)

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**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2008, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/39 "2008-01-07T04:22:53Z")

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[QUOTE=mobo85]  
What’s the Hebrew word for “whoosh?”  
[/QUOTE]

_Ruah_.

(Added to meet minimum post length)

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**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-chick-tract-poor-little-lamb/432171/40 "2008-01-07T04:37:04Z")

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There is an actual witch with pointy hat at the end of it. Wow. The only thing missing is Dorothy and Toto.

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