# Latest stupid commercial thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102 "2012-07-23T02:40:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![NIKI50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/958977/32.png) [@NIKI50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NIKI50)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/301 "2014-03-05T09:57:21Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I sure like the ones Marie Callender sells in stores. 🙂 Marie Callenders sells the best ones IMO ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/302 "2014-03-05T12:18:00Z")
But, CAN YOU EAT THEM FOR LUNCH!? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/303 "2014-03-05T15:44:50Z")
They seem to be winding down now, but the Honda commercials seemed to be pretty mean-spirited toward the dealership folks. They were attacked by dogs, used as trampolines, made to wear shock collars, used as science experiments, etc. The one I currently dislike excessively is for one of our cable TV providers (I can’t find it on YouTube, sorry). In it the husband and wife are watching an action movie on TV. We can tell it’s an action movie because we see parts of it on their TV screen. They even tell us it’s “movie night.” The wife keeps interrupting the show to hint that they should watch the movie outdoors (showing that you can stream your TV to your tablet, I suppose). What irritates me is how passive-aggressive she is about it. They’re watching the movie and she brings up Facebook. On the TV. Over the movie. (“Look, we have The Internets.”) Then she brings up a weather report. On the TV, over the movie. Even when they finally go outside to “watch” the rest of the movie, she’s really not interested, looking at the stars while we’re supposed to decide it’s better to see a movie on an 8 inch screen while lying on the ground instead of in the house where the entertainment system is. Sure wish I had a chicken pot pie and a cold refreshing Pepsi right about now. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/304 "2014-03-05T15:52:27Z")
Do Internet ads count? There’s one I’ve been seeing a lot on the SD home page lately, for some sort of hair care produce-- Something about seawater, and wearing bold floral prints with it, or some such. Which they advertise by showing a picture of a lady with nearly the worst hair I’ve ever seen. No way is anyone going to use your product if it makes your hair look like that! ---
**Author:** ![johnspartan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@johnspartan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnspartan)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/305 "2014-03-05T18:47:15Z")
[- YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO0ZF85yUjs) Here’s the ad
 paraphrased below. Little girl: “I have evidence my dad is a space alien. He drinks weird stuff, and he has a super-futuristic spaceship [minivan]. Yep, no denying it, he’s definitely an alien.” Conclusion you’re supposed to reach: “I gotta run out and get me that car!” My only thought: “That little kid’s gonna take out her father in the middle of the night. ‘For the safety of the human race.’ Or, at least, call the FBI on him or something.” ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/306 "2014-03-05T20:24:31Z")
> [@johnspartan](#): > > My only thought: “That little kid’s gonna take out her father in the middle of the night. ‘For the safety of the human race.’ Or, at least, call the FBI on him or something.” Wouldn’t you call the Men In Black for something like that? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/307 "2014-03-05T21:21:40Z")
> [@lawoot](#): > > Second, the tag line “The best stories start with Don’t Tell
” Unfortunately for me, I work with kids, some of whom have been badly abused, and one of the first thing sexual abusers say is “Don’t tell.” Personally, I can’t get past that. Same here, “don’t tell” and “it’s our little secret” are immediately associated with molestation in my brain. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/308 "2014-03-06T08:44:32Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Wouldn’t you call the Men In Black for something like that? The original “Men in Black” were Moe, Larry, and Curly. In 1934. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/309 "2014-03-06T21:47:32Z")
I’m watching golf, and they just ran this ad for the hundredth time. Some people are sitting down (separately) with a financial consultant. Apparently they spend quite a lot of time with him, going over their personal finances. And then, after asking them if they are satisfied with his advice and getting glowing affirmative responses, he reveals that they are fools who just wasted their time, because he’s actually a DJ who has no financial experience. And then he starts dancing around like an idiot. Their reaction is one of astonished delight. I would have kicked him in the nuts. Not only stupid, but ineffective, because I had to back up the DVR to see that the company is CFP. As I said, I’ve seen this commercial a hundred times, and until just now I not only could not have told you which company ran the commercial, but I would have sworn under oath that I have never heard of CFP. ETA: here it is: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Afufjv_6-t4) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/310 "2014-03-06T22:34:58Z")
> [@Accidental\_Martyr](#): > > Discover Card commercial with twin sisters. > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi7VHr\_S\_MQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi7VHr_S_MQ) > From this commercial we are led to belive the following things: > A) Sister who calls Discover doesn’t recognize her twin sister’s voice over the phone. > B) Sister doesn’t know where her twin sister works since she is surprised to be talking to her. > C) Sister working at Discover is able to give info about account without being given name or account info. > D) Sister at Discover is still unaware that she is talking to her twin sister even while looking at her info on computer screen. To be fair to the commercial, it’s part of a series where the person on the phone at Discover IS the person calling in. “Its how you treat you.” Or whatever. This commercial is the one that subverts the expectations formed from the others. In every other one, the setup is metaphorical- the person isn’t really talking to themselves. In the one you mentioned, you think it’s the same thing, until it is revealed to be twins. The commercial entered the ‘real world’. This commercial isn’t clever unless you know the whole series. (Whether it’s clever when you know it is a YMMV situation.) ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/311 "2014-03-09T08:12:46Z")
And now they’re advertising some new TV series, saying, “Whoever controls this child will control the world!” And then they prove it by having her scream, which makes some pigeons fly around her. OK, I admit I can’t make pigeons fly around me by screaming. But I can do it by dumping a bag of bread crumbs on the ground, which I actually find easier to do than screaming. And yet, the CIA shows no interest in me whatever. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/312 "2014-03-10T05:15:59Z")
It coud be worse: They could poop all over your head. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/313 "2014-03-10T05:58:42Z")
> [@](#): > > And then they prove it by having her scream, which makes some pigeons fly around her. > > OK, I admit I can’t make pigeons fly around me by screaming. But I can do it by dumping a bag of bread crumbs on the ground, which I actually find easier to do than screaming. And yet, the CIA shows no interest in me whatever. The pigeons aren’t flying around her, they’re flying in a circle around the bad lady. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/314 "2014-03-10T06:32:23Z")
â™Ș♫"
and watch a hawk making lazy circles in the sky!"â™Ș♫ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/315 "2014-03-10T16:45:52Z")
The only time I ever took Miralax was when the docs at the colonoscopy clinic prescribed a weapons-grade overdose, mixed with Gatorade. I did not “heart my lax.” ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/316 "2014-03-12T08:07:56Z")
The “Wisest Kid” ads. Take a 10 year old boy, and give him a 9 foot long beard. Congrats. WTF? Okay, so I know the seed idea. There’s a motif of wise men being old, bearded ascetic hermit monks living on mountain tops, so you go find the wise man. It’s a shoot off from Eastern mysticism. So apparently, the concept for these ads is a parent (i.e. mom) wanting to know something her kid will like, so turning to the “wisest kid”. And to prove he’s wise, he’s an acetic hermit monk with a beard living on a mountain top. Except it makes no sense, because he’s a kid. It’s like somebody dug up McCauley Kaulkin from his Home Alone days (via timetravel) and stuck a beard on him. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![johnspartan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@johnspartan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnspartan)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/317 "2014-03-12T13:57:54Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > To be fair to the commercial, it’s part of a series where the person on the phone at Discover IS the person calling in. “Its how you treat you.” Or whatever. This commercial is the one that subverts the expectations formed from the others. In every other one, the setup is metaphorical- the person isn’t really talking to themselves. In the one you mentioned, you think it’s the same thing, until it is revealed to be twins. The commercial entered the ‘real world’. > > This commercial isn’t clever unless you know the whole series. (Whether it’s clever when you know it is a YMMV situation.) I like the Discover ads
 they’re effective inasmuch as you actually remember they’re branded Discover (as opposed to “that hilarious ad for some bank” or “that great ad for some cellphone company”). And I get a chuckle out of the “My sister says awesome-sauce. Wait, is that you?” I also wonder — subtly, is this ad campaign hinting that their call centers are domestic and not overseas? And is this true? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/318 "2014-03-12T15:30:22Z")
Whoa, **Irishman** , thanks for pointing that out! I never realized before that little kids can’t grow long beards. The whole premise of that ad is now ruined! ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/319 "2014-03-12T16:26:48Z")
I don’t know if two ad campaigns count as a trend, but along with the idiotic ads for Abilify, with a cartoon woman accompanied constantly by a personification of her depression, bringing it along to the doctor, where the depression glob takes notes, and the doctor shows the woman a film OF THE SAME DOCTOR TALKING ABOUT ABILIFY, there is now a live action commercial for some sort of bladder control medication with the woman accompanied constantly by her personified bladder, who acts like a kid, pulling her by the hand as she’s walking along and looking downright cheerful, she takes her bladder-boy to the doctor (he doesn’t seem to be taking notes, but is paying attention; who knows, maybe this doctor had a handout) and continues on to attend a picnic or some outdoor concert or something with another woman, STILL ACCOMPANIED BY HER BLADDER-BOY. WTF? Ad people, PLEASE do NOT use this tactic to advertise drugs that help premature ejaculation. Or maybe do. That one might be hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/320 "2014-03-12T17:46:35Z")
One that’s driving my 12 year old nephew crazy is the Lipton tea commercial with the Muppets, the one where Kermit implores the viewers to “be more tea”
 Be more tea?!?!? What the heck are they talking about, it makes no sense, how can someone be tea, let alone More tea? This commercial is stupid, it’s meaningless! Smart kid
 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102.md?page=17)