# Latest stupid commercial thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102 "2012-07-23T02:40:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/441 "2014-05-28T05:41:46Z")
> [@TonySinclair](#): > > The DirecTV ads with the spastic marionettes creep me out. Yeah, I also find them kind of creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/442 "2014-05-28T12:54:52Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Those are nasty ads. We are supposed to hate those people with “wires” or what? Feel superior? Neither. Dude is happy his TV doesn’t have wires running up the wall. Marionette wife takes it as a sign that dude hates wires in general and no longer likes her. Dude comforts marionette wife. We’re supposed to find it amusing (and learn about the ‘no wires’ thing). It’s not a great ad (I’ve complained about it a couple times now) but I don’t think it’s supposed to inspire some sort of marionette racism or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/443 "2014-05-28T13:49:31Z")
> [@TonySinclair](#): > > The DirecTV ads with the spastic marionettes creep me out. She can prepare and carry a tray with a full pitcher of lemonade and glasses from the kitchen without incident, but cannot navigate the final ten inches and suddenly lacks the coordination to pour? Get me the Kangaroo, I’m going with Dish Network. Yeah, naps are awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/444 "2014-05-28T15:37:36Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > I see dumb commercials like this and picture a group of suits using an elaborate PowerPoint production to pitch it to another group of suits…and everyone thinks it’s a winner? > > If I were making this commercial, I’d have the wires spreading out from the TV like those evil vines in the horror movie. Every time mom or dad walked into the room the wires would cover more of the wall. Spooky music would be playing. At the end, the cat would be plastered to the wall covered in wires, and one wire would be inching out toward the baby… :eek: If I were an Executive Fat Cat In a Suit with the power to do so, I would storyboard that ad and get it on the fast track to production. Hell, I’d probably storyboard it anyway, if you don’t mind… ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/445 "2014-05-28T16:31:49Z")
Little Caeser’s: dad is driving his kids around and they’re chanting “Pizza! Pizza!” He stops, rips the hair out of his head, and says, “What am I supposed to do? Drive home, look for a place online, fill out a form,” etc. One kid sagely suggests Little Caeser’s, because all you have to do is drive there and pick out something without waiting. On what planet is ordering pizza online less convenient than driving someplace through traffic and choosing crap that’s been dehydrating under a heat lamp? Do LC suits think their customers are weak-willed parents who instantly obey their rugrats’ pizza demands? The only desire I get when exposed to LC ads is to avoid flat grease-soaked boxes. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/446 "2014-05-28T17:04:20Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > If I were an Executive Fat Cat In a Suit with the power to do so, I would storyboard that ad and get it on the fast track to production. Hell, I’d probably storyboard it anyway, if you don’t mind… As long as I get $442,000 up front and 2% of the resulting sales increase after the ad runs, have at it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/447 "2014-05-28T21:10:12Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > As long as I get $442,000 up front and 2% of the resulting sales increase after the ad runs, have at it! 😃 Then we should get the Kickstarter campaign up and running, stat! ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/448 "2014-05-28T21:20:30Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Then we should get the Kickstarter campaign up and running, stat! Did I undervalue myself? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/449 "2014-05-28T21:27:28Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Little Caeser’s: dad is driving his kids around and they’re chanting “Pizza! Pizza!” He stops, rips the hair out of his head, and says, “What am I supposed to do? Drive home, look for a place online, fill out a form,” etc. One kid sagely suggests Little Caeser’s, because all you have to do is drive there and pick out something without waiting. > > On what planet is ordering pizza online less convenient than driving someplace through traffic and choosing crap that’s been dehydrating under a heat lamp? I have nothing further to say about this ad campaign except it’s first one I’ve seen that complains about the inconvenience of ordering things on-line or by through a smart phone. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/450 "2014-05-28T22:11:09Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > They just had a commercial with the marionette wife dancing in her lingerie so at this point i have to assume that they’re screwing with me. I have not seen this ad. Based on your description of it I shall now live in a state of existential dread, with my mind conjuring ever more disturbing images from the darkest corners of my imagination, until such time as I witness the true horror that awaits. I hope you’re happy. > [@Jophiel](#): > > Neither. Dude is happy his TV doesn’t have wires running up the wall. Marionette wife takes it as a sign that dude hates wires in general and no longer likes her. Dude comforts marionette wife. We’re supposed to find it amusing (and learn about the ‘no wires’ thing). In addition to all the other nitpicks, is anyone really bothered by wires? It’s like those ads for tagless t-shirts; they’re trying to convince us that they can solve a problem we never even knew we had. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/451 "2014-05-28T22:23:00Z")
Over Memorial Day weekend, Arby’s ran a [13-hour commerical](http://www.13hourbrisket.com/#/) for its smoked brisket on KBJR-TV in Duluth, Mn. You can catch it online today (Wednesday.) ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/452 "2014-05-28T22:34:22Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I have not seen this ad. Based on your description of it I shall now live in a state of existential dread, with my mind conjuring ever more disturbing images from the darkest corners of my imagination, until such time as I witness the true horror that awaits. > > I hope you’re happy. Here you go… [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/HB0pq5n0C24/hqdefault.jpg "TV Commercial - DirecTV - Marionettes - Am I Pretty? Girl At Bedtime - No Wires - You Like That") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB0pq5n0C24) ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/453 "2014-05-28T22:34:50Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > In addition to all the other nitpicks, is anyone really bothered by wires? If they’re crammed behind the entertainment center, I could care less. However, if one is hanging down the wall I’ve been known to paint the exposed part in an effort to camouflage it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/454 "2014-05-28T22:38:07Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > It’s like those ads for tagless t-shirts; they’re trying to convince us that they can solve a problem we never even knew we had. Shirt tags are one of my hugest complaints. They drive me crazy. I wind up ripping them out and leaving holes in my shirts. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/455 "2014-05-28T23:12:21Z")
[quote=“Accidental\_Martyr, post:452, topic:629102”] Here you go… [/QUOTE] That’s so hot. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/456 "2014-05-28T23:16:01Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > That’s so hot. Gave me a woody. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/457 "2014-05-28T23:25:53Z")
[quote=“Accidental\_Martyr, post:452, topic:629102”] Here you go… [/QUOTE] It’s not quite as bad as I feared, but how does she get the robe off over the wires? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/458 "2014-05-28T23:26:59Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Shirt tags are one of my hugest complaints. They drive me crazy. I wind up ripping them out and leaving holes in my shirts. Do you have any tagless black t-shirts with the label printed on them in dark gray that fades after a few washings? ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/459 "2014-05-29T00:14:00Z")
Tagless t-shirts are great! The tags always used to annoy me. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102/460 "2014-05-29T00:59:17Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > Did I undervalue myself? ☹ Not at all; it’s just that I’m not the proverbial Fat Cat Suit with the kind of budget that could front that kind of money… yet! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/latest-stupid-commercial-thread/629102.md?page=24)