# Laws of Physics:1 Getting nookie:0 (TMI warning) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 17, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430 "2003-04-17T23:35:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/41 "2004-08-04T22:24:02Z")
::crickets:: ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/42 "2004-08-04T22:29:18Z")
Two words: Dog. Cold nose. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/43 "2004-08-04T22:31:48Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > I’m confused by the use of a condom on a strap on. [ul] [li]Extra safer-sex precautions aside from routine cleaning and care. (Some of my “accessories” have been in my life much longer than any of the lovers who have enjoyed them, though sometimes toys are purchased and used on only one lover…depends on the dykes…and the cost of the toy) [/li][li]Much much much easier for cleanup and re-use between dishwasher loads (i.e. within the same evening. I can elaborate on this if enquiring minds really want to know. In a nutshell they are not really easy to get on and off or keep from coming in contact with all sorts of things besides your parter…sheets, etc) [/li][li]A wee bit of extra protection for the dildo (you don’t want to scratch or puncture them, makes them difficult if not impossible to sterilize)[/li][li]I can barely take care of myself, the last thing I need are a bunch of little dewbies running around the world. [/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/44 "2004-08-04T22:39:00Z")
Thank you, **honeydewgrrl**. I thought **BrotherCadfael** was trying to help explain, and I had an image of a dog wearing a strap-on putting a condom on his cold nose, and that had me even more confused. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/45 "2004-08-04T22:39:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Quote: > Originally Posted by CalMeacham > Pepper Mill and I managed to utterly destroy a steel bedframe with our rhythm once. It stopped things briefly, while we adjourned to a more hospitable location. Nobody was hurt, so the score was 1:1. > > Yes, but then did your new spouse suddenly decide to ask his parents/your new in-laws if they “have an extra bedframe? We broke ours.”?! 1.) I’m male and hetero. Pepper is female. 2.) We’re grownups, and both our sets of parents were six hours away, so we didn’t think it was a good idea to ask them for a spare bedframe. We bought our own, much stronger frame, that we haven’t managed to do any damage to. Yet. 3.) Hi, Opal1 (I don’t think I’ve done that yet) 4.) Why did you ask if we had asked our parentas/in laws for a new frame, and you didn’t ask the other two who posted similar experience? ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/46 "2004-08-04T23:08:56Z")
I _think_ what **RitzyRae** was trying to say was that she had a similar experience involving a zealous newlywed groom who didn’t think it was uncouth to ask his parents to replace the bed that they’d broke in the middle of doin’ the nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/47 "2004-08-05T04:57:02Z")
Many years ago, when the spousal unit and I were just dating, and going at it several times a day. She was VERY limber at the time. We were doing the deed missionary style when she managed to kick over a can of Coke on my night stand! It was freaking hilarious! I was thinking “That’s Awesome!” But she only felt embarrassed, and started crying. No one got hurt by the projectile coke can, but it’s the best I have. On a side note, I’ve gotten my hands in the ceiling fan a ton of times. I’ll go to change my shirt, and raise my hands right into to. I’ve never been hurt yet, but it scares the shit out of me everytime! E3 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/48 "2004-08-05T11:59:16Z")
> [@](#): > > I think what RitzyRae was trying to say was that she had a similar experience involving a zealous newlywed groom who didn’t think it was uncouth to ask his parents to replace the bed that they’d broke in the middle of doin’ the nasty. Whoosh! ---
**Author:** ![RitzyRae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aca169/32.png) [@RitzyRae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitzyRae)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/49 "2004-08-05T13:56:46Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > I _think_ what **RitzyRae** was trying to say was that she had a similar experience involving a zealous newlywed groom who didn’t think it was uncouth to ask his parents to replace the bed that they’d broke in the middle of doin’ the nasty. Yes, **honeydewgrrl** is exactly right. Sorry if that was confusing. And I didn’t quote the other two bed breakers cuz… I’m lazy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/50 "2004-08-06T01:09:49Z")
casey1505, that is THE funniest thing i read all day! good accessory for a crotch sniffin’ dog. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/51 "2004-08-06T02:59:19Z")
Nothing like going at it all hot and heavy when the two sweaty bellys pressing together make a juicy fart noise. That’s almost as romantic as a real fart. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had that happen. The fake fart I mean. I’ve not been unfortunate enough to bust ass while making nookie. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/52 "2004-08-06T07:52:46Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > Nothing like going at it all hot and heavy when the two sweaty bellys pressing together make a juicy fart noise. That’s almost as romantic as a real fart. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had that happen. The fake fart I mean. I’ve not been unfortunate enough to bust ass while making nookie. We were too busy thinking about other stuff;) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/53 "2004-08-06T19:56:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Ex-girlfriend and I were out in the woods getting back to nature. We were semi-surrounded by a horseshoe shaped thicket of bushes. It was a **sperm** -of-the-moment decision, so we just dropped our pants and went at it. Freudian, no? ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430/54 "2004-08-06T21:40:00Z")
The missus and I were going at it in the bathroom. It was her turn to wear the strap-on, she got me up and against the bathroom door, and then… the strap on ripped right out of the harness. All I could think of was… “But, but, we were using it for its intended purpose!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laws-of-physics-1-getting-nookie-0-tmi-warning/169430.md?page=2)