# Lawyers: need help with custody arrangement **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 16, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lawyers-need-help-with-custody-arrangement/224790 "2004-01-16T16:55:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lawyers-need-help-with-custody-arrangement/224790/1 "2004-01-16T16:55:53Z")
I would like to draw up some sort of custody and support arrangement with my son’s mother. She is a resident of Kansas and I’m a resident of Florida, even though all three of us physically live in Missouri. My question is, who do I need to see to draw up some sort of mutually-agreed-upon deal for this sort of thing? I’d like it to be legally-binding in case anyone changes their mind on who is owed what later. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lawyers-need-help-with-custody-arrangement/224790/2 "2004-01-16T19:23:59Z")
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you really, really need an attorney in your jurisdiction to handle this. For one, I don’t know about Missouri, but in Texas custody and support orders have to be approved by the court to be binding, and support must be paid through the attorney generals office to be credited to the payee. I would be surprised if the situation weren’t the same in MO. Secondly, without an attorney’s help it’s very likely one party (if not both) will get the shaft, either paying way too much, not receiving nearly enough, not getting all the visitation he or she is entitled to, etc. Third, it sounds like you may have some interstate jurisdictional issue that need to be hammered out. There’s just too much to go wrong with this one to trust handling it yourselves. Consult a real flesh and blood attorney in your jurisdiction. If you’re generally in agreement and don’t wish to contest anything, you should be able to find an attorney for a reasonable price if you shop around. This is not legal advice, I’m not licensed in your jurisdiction, I’m not your lawyer and you’re not my client, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lawyers-need-help-with-custody-arrangement/224790/3 "2004-01-16T19:45:52Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you really, really need an attorney in your jurisdiction to handle this. For one, I don’t know about Missouri, but in Texas custody and support orders have to be approved by the court to be binding, and support must be paid through the attorney generals office to be credited to the payee. I would be surprised if the situation weren’t the same in MO. Secondly, without an attorney’s help it’s very likely one party (if not both) will get the shaft, either paying way too much, not receiving nearly enough, not getting all the visitation he or she is entitled to, etc. Third, it sounds like you may have some interstate jurisdictional issue that need to be hammered out. There’s just too much to go wrong with this one to trust handling it yourselves. Consult a real flesh and blood attorney in your jurisdiction. If you’re generally in agreement and don’t wish to contest anything, you should be able to find an attorney for a reasonable price if you shop around. > > This is not legal advice, I’m not licensed in your jurisdiction, I’m not your lawyer and you’re not my client, etc. I concur. If you are wondering about the state in which you should seek an attorney, start in MO. A lawyer there should be able to tell you whether the MO court will have jurisdiction. And they should do that for free. Interstate jurisdiction over child custody is generally governed by the [UCCJEA](http://www.law.upenn.edu/bll/ulc/fnact99/1990s/uccjea97.htm), but you have not given us enough facts to determine which court(s) might have jurisdiction. Talk to a lawyer, tell them your story, and take their advice. These things can get very complicated. Get a lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lawyers-need-help-with-custody-arrangement/224790/4 "2004-01-16T20:00:24Z")
As an example of how complex interstate custody can get, take a look [here](http://www.law.cornell.edu/uniform/vol9.html#child). Though a uniform law on the subject was drafted in 1968 and adopted by all states, some state have passed their own versions, and some states have passed an amendment to the uniform act–others have not. So much for uniformity . . . and which state’s law applies if there is a conflict between two semi-uniform statutes? It is a very messy area. My point, again. Get a lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lawyers-need-help-with-custody-arrangement/224790/5 "2004-01-17T06:19:53Z")
Okay, it sounds like it’ll be pretty complicated. As I said, I knew I needed to speak with a lawyer, I just wasn’t sure where. I’ll look up custody lawyers in the phonebook and see where I can go from there. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lawyers-need-help-with-custody-arrangement/224790/6 "2004-01-17T15:30:59Z")
You may also want to contact your local bar association. They will usually provide referrals, often on a reduced cost basis for qualifying individuals. Also legal aid societies or family rights organizations may be able to help. Good luck.