# Laziness, or please advise me how to get back on track with my life **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2013, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623 "2013-06-22T10:43:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Desolation\_Island](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Desolation\_Island](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desolation_Island)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/21 "2013-06-23T21:31:23Z")
> [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](#): > > I would say I feel passionate, but every time there is a setback, my mood will affect what I am doing. Sometimes, I got so anxious thatI am unable to proceed. Back of my mind feeling is - I could do it, if I don’t “switch off”. I find it easy to start, but hard to carry it through. Eventually, at a point, anxiety will make me break off doing whatever I am doing - “it’s not good enough” or “I never could get it done”, only to feel guilty days later and tried doing it again, but I will be so agitated at setbacks that I give up again. If it something non-significant, say writing a review for a game or movie, I don’t have any issues. When it comes to your work projects, my advice would be to try this experiment: physically remove yourself from where you work normally or where you’d entertain yourself online (i.e. in your home). Go to a park, a coffee shop, a library, whatever. Or at least, if you do this at home try for a different room. Tell yourself you will not go online, check your phone, anything - just focus on the task. Disconnect your ethernet or go to a no-wifi zone if you think going online will be too much of a temptation. No music. Set a timer to 30 minutes and work on the task you are afraid you cannot handle. If you panic, back up, focus on a different part of the problem. It might help to take notes on your thought process. If you reach the 30 min mark and still feel ok, go for a full hour. If not, that’s ok, you can stop. But this next part’s important: once you stop, you’re done. Go to youtube, do the less challenging work. Don’t feel guilty about only working for a half-hour - it’s a difficult half-hour. A frustrating and emotionally draining half-hour. If you can do this, and if you find the results productive, then you can gradually try to increase your threshold for this level of focus. But even a half-hour a day is a victory. ---
**Author:** ![Independence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e274bd/32.png) [@Independence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Independence)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/22 "2013-06-23T21:36:18Z")
I hope my input truly does help you. I believe I have felt similar before… Your lack of motivation to complete the tasks you “need” to be doing at work could be attributable to the lack of focus indicative of Adult ADD. Your procrastination may be attributable to Adult ADD and perfectionism. If you are a true perfectionist, your immediate response to that was “I’m not a perfectionist b/c I don’t do anything perfectly.” Perfectionist NEVER think they have done it perfect or right… no matter the outcome. You may be putting off the things you should be doing b/c you are waiting for the perfect conditions to start so that you can perform the task perfectly… Your lack of motivation may be apathy in response to your perceived failures or stagnation… I think doing the following things may help you: 1. Get on an ADD med - I think it could do WONDERS for you. 2. Read The Success Principles, The Secret, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and work the principles that you read within. 3. Create a list of your achievements and celebrate your accomplishments. You will find that you have lots to be proud of, this will improve your self esteem, and you will feel ripe to tackle more challenges and accomplish more goals. 4. Create a list of goals and start working towards them… get EXCITED about doing and becoming more than you are presently. OH, and if you haven’t already… CUT TV completely out of your life. You will have that much more time to plan, read, work on your projects… Plus, television encourages a short attention span. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/23 "2013-06-23T22:17:25Z")
Crowbar, the advice to take the word “should” and replace it with the word “will” will help you. I also recommend seeing a therapist, if you are not already seeing one. Have the therapist help you create a plan that can keep you going from day to day. Right now, I’m going through the same thing in a job I know I like (btw, I’ve been here before). I can’t afford to see my therapist right now because I don’t have mental health insurance coverage. But, I am drawing on my previous experience to get through this. I set my own goals and deadlines alongside those that are set for me. I try to beat the goal set for me so that I can have some peace of mind to work on something else. For example, I have something due on Wednesday. I’m giving myself to EOB Monday to get it done so that Tuesday, I can work on another project that is waiting for my attention. It seems that I can’t get some stuff done without being in panic mode. So, I set my own panic mode. It’s weird but it often works for me and it keeps my (contract) position at this job from going on the rocks. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/24 "2013-06-24T08:42:14Z")
I here you and have experienced this multiple time before. One thing that may help to consider and it relates to the “removing” of yourself from the normal environment Previous jobs saw me flaying back and forth across the atlantic on a semi-regular basis and i found that often, I did my best and most efficient work in the lounge and on the flight. Maybe it was because I knew it had to be ready by the time I got to the other end. Maybe I found it easier to set up that work-reward scenario (do it now before dinner and then I can have a beer and a film) Or maybe just the novelty of the surroundings. Don’t know for sure but it is very much in line with what others have said. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/25 "2013-06-24T14:53:18Z")
Wow Crowbar, it’s like reading someone describing my own self. I feel and act exactly the same way you do so I can completely sympathize with how frustrating and difficult it is. There’s a lot of good information in this thread and the ADD suggestion is interesting. Is that something you could just go to your doctor and ask about? I don’t know how they diagnose it in adults. I did go to therapy for a while for my depression and I had mentioned these exact same problems to my therapist. She told me that we’re ruled by our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and that they’re all interlinked. So if I think I can’t do something, then I don’t do it, which makes me feel guilty. It’s called CBT and the idea was to work on changing ONE aspect, because once you do, it affects the other two. Unfortunately, my therapist was an idiot who was fresh out of college and had no idea how to properly implement the therapy but it’s definitely something to google. Honestly, it’s something I should do too. Well, no. It’s something I will do. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/26 "2013-06-24T15:33:34Z")
This is depression. Please get some help, because it can get worse. I lost a job because of this (sleep problems), and I’m busting my ass doing better at my new job. ---
**Author:** ![genuinejon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@genuinejon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/genuinejon)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/27 "2013-06-25T06:55:30Z")
“I can do anything for 10 minutes” When I do it, I often find I can go much longer than 10 minutes (lol, heya ladies:) and start to feel excited about what I am accomplishing. If I don’t feel the ‘rush’ and am counting the minutes, that is ok too, there’s always tomorrow. Some other ideas: Drink plenty of water Define your top 3 things to do today Take breaks throughout the day Exercise Say thanks–write down some things that you are thankful for to look upon when times get tough Spend a few minutes reflecting on your day–it is difficult for me to say ‘I did x’ instead of ‘I did not get y done’ ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2013, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/28 "2013-06-25T22:37:49Z")
Genuinejon’s suggestions are really many of the best small things. Hydration, exercise, organization, and introspection can all be massive. I’m going to give totally underqualified possible suggestion: fish oil capsules. Now, this assumes you’re not currently taking medications. If you are, please discuss it with a doctor. I recommend fish oil a lot, because it does have some decently supported health benefits that can make it worth taking regardless. Less supported are several mental benefits, including some antidepressive effects and memory improvements. My experience has been extremely positive. Since I started taking it daily, I’ve felt less depressed, less distracted, and a bit less lazy. I still struggle with all three, but if I was trying to quantify my subjective experience, I’d say it feels like, maybe, a 10% improvement. Not night and day, but really feels like it’s helping me get “out of the mud” and unlocking some energy for the bigger improvements. My wife has reported a similar feeling. Now, I’m entirely willing to concede that it might be a placebo effect. It is, in fact, possible if not downright probable that much of the mental benefit is just the result of having a morning ritual that includes the capsules. People often justify placebos with, “hey, it couldn’t hurt” and I’ve never been satisfied with that. In the case of fish oil, it seems like at least SOME of the benefits are real, so it’s easy for me to justify taking it even if the mental benefits are placebo. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/29 "2013-06-26T01:41:50Z")
> [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](#): > > I’m having a great deal of difficulty with my life right now. It could be my depression spiralling out of control, or maybe I am just incredibly out of form. > > I can’t seem to function well. At my work, my focus is fleeting. There’s a couple of coding projects I want to done in my free time but I rather watch YouTube. I can’t muster motivation for anything challenging - be it going to a social gathering, working on my game projects, or just tidying up my room. > > Boss at work had a talk with me and say I am getting increasingly irritable at work, appeared to be defensive about everything and that when my mood is good, I am a capable worker. But when I swing low, I am terrible. I’ll admit that he is right. > > I’ll want something badly (say, get a mobile game done in my free time) that I feel frustrated that I am not working on getting it during work, but when I got home, the prospect of putting effort into what I want is so overwhelming that I go and do something else. > > I hate to be stuck like this. Can anyone offer me any advice? How can I stop being so lazy? When you say you “can’t muster motivation for anything challenging”, what do you mean? Are you saying you never feel motivated to do anything? Or are you saying that you have made an effort to become motivated, but nothing works? If it’s the second answer, then what have you tried to do in order to become motivated? ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/30 "2013-06-26T02:15:25Z")
I read somewhere that practicing small acts of self-discipline builds that skill, and transfers to different areas. In other words, you can practice your will-power in an area that is less hard for you, then use it in harder things. I am a low-energy person. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for long periods of time, and never really learned the skill of making myself do what I don’t want to do. When I have felt lazy, unfocused and powerless, it has been very encouraging to make a daily goal to perform a set number of “small acts of self-discipline” just to show myself that I can do things. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/31 "2013-06-26T02:58:08Z")
> [@Silvorange](#): > > I read somewhere that practicing small acts of self-discipline builds that skill, and transfers to different areas. In other words, you can practice your will-power in an area that is less hard for you, then use it in harder things. > > I am a low-energy person. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for long periods of time, and never really learned the skill of making myself do what I don’t want to do. When I have felt lazy, unfocused and powerless, it has been very encouraging to make a daily goal to perform a set number of “small acts of self-discipline” just to show myself that I can do things. I tried this as well. I put a bowl of chocolate in my room and tried not to eat any chocolate. It was harder than I thought, but I did end up with stronger will-power. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/32 "2013-06-26T03:43:15Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > I tried this as well. I put a bowl of chocolate in my room and tried not to eat any chocolate. It was harder than I thought, but I did end up with stronger will-power. You are a masochist. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623/33 "2013-06-27T10:51:12Z")
You don’t say how old you are, but I guess your not too old, which is obviously a problem. I have recently developed the same problem, and despite having lots of jobs waiting, would rather watch tv, write things on anonymous forums or do nothing. Even reading is not a motivator. So if you find a solution, please share. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/laziness-or-please-advise-me-how-to-get-back-on-track-with-my-life/661623.md?page=1)