# Lazy, good-for-nothing, troublemaking organs **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 19, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863 "2007-04-19T23:57:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/21 "2007-04-20T04:49:05Z")
How about the fat “organ” in general? Hello? Did you get the memo, hips? No food shortage! Won’t be a food shortage! We can make it through winter just fine now, thanks. I’m not going to die if you don’t store enough energy to run a third world country for a month off my ass. Wake up and evolve, already! While we’re at it, can I get my sweet tooth removed? Gives me nothing but trouble, really. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/22 "2007-04-20T04:52:48Z")
J.S. Bach: Toccata & Fugue in D minor (BWV 565) was the first thing I thought of when seeing the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/23 "2007-04-20T04:56:10Z")
[QUOTE=Siam Sam] For oral, you mean? 😃 [/QUOTE] I try to speak only for myself 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/24 "2007-04-20T04:57:40Z")
I should add that whereas the organ I referred to may be good-for-nothing and trouble-making, it’s definitely not lazy. That’s why it gets guys into trouble in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/25 "2007-04-20T05:36:16Z")
> [@](#): > > The colon, though is worse. What’s up with this irritable bowel stuff? What have you got to be so irritated over? In my family, this is referred to as the Bodoni Belly, and we are all very tired of it. I don’t enjoy worrying over food, but I must. At this time of year, I’d like to pit my immune system in general. Spring happens every year. The plants are trying to procreate. I do NOT wish to have to soak my eyes with a warm wet washcloth every time I wake up, to remove the crust so I can open my eyes. I would like to thank the makers of Benadryl for their fine product, which enables me to get to sleep and breathe for a few hours at a time. I’ve had my uterus, ovaries, and Fallopian tubes removed. The recovery period was painful, but worth it. No more worrying about an unexpected period, or bleeding through. I can wear panties that are NOT plain white cotton. I only wish I’d been able to persuade a doctor to do this for me years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/26 "2007-04-20T05:47:10Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] How about the fat “organ” in general? Hello? Did you get the memo, hips? No food shortage! Won’t be a food shortage! We can make it through winter just fine now, thanks. I’m not going to die if you don’t store enough energy to run a third world country for a month off my ass. Wake up and evolve, already! [/QUOTE] Damn your eyes! I was reading that while munching on my (late) dinner and nearly inhaled everything in my mouth. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/27 "2007-04-20T07:22:07Z")
My biggest complaint about apendices is that when my grandfather’s tried to kill him fifty years ago, it was too slow about it. Freak’s still around… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/28 "2007-04-20T11:09:57Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] J.S. Bach: Toccata & Fugue in D minor (BWV 565) was the first thing I thought of when seeing the thread title. [/QUOTE] \ > **[$50 Wurlitzer!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=417342)** > > Cool! Just saw a classified in the local paper. Who knows what it’ll actually be; it’s described as ‘organ with stool.’ I’m going to have a look in about an hour… but I’ll take the van, just in case. 🙂 Only this morning I was bemoaning the lack... ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/29 "2007-04-20T11:16:10Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] The colon, though is worse. [/QUOTE] Ay-fucking-men. The colon is the biggest freeloader in the body. It doesn’t even do much when it’s working - extract a little salt, extract a little water, and knead the food - but it manages to consistently screw it up. After a lifetime of getting me into trouble, mine decided to crank up the shittiness factor and _really_ get me into trouble. After not having to do any work for several weeks and still messing with me more than any other organ ever has, I threw it out. Now it’s residing in jars in some laboratory somewhere. Good riddance. That’ll teach the bloody thing. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/30 "2007-04-20T14:53:33Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] J.S. Bach: Toccata & Fugue in D minor (BWV 565) was the first thing I thought of when seeing the thread title. [/QUOTE] Uh, that’s a good-for-nothing organ _piece_. A troublemaking organ would be one with a cipher, or malfunctioning action, or bad voicing or whatever. Actually, the appendix is a very useful organ. It gives surgical interns something to practice on. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/31 "2007-04-20T15:37:10Z")
Someone has to mention the penis… ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/32 "2007-04-20T15:51:40Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Someone has to mention the penis… [/QUOTE] Um, just which organ DID you think I meant?? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/33 "2007-04-20T15:56:10Z")
Emerging technologies may soon greatly simplify our methods of dealing with pesky organs. Dopers should be aware that the Natural Orifice Surgery Consortium\* is studying new and hitherto undreamed-of ways of getting to internal parts. Under study are appendectomies via upper endoscopy (i.e. a scope inserted in the mouth and directed southwards) and trans-vaginal gall bladder removal (look - no abdominal scars!). [The website](http://www.noscar.org/index.html) mentions “paradigm shift” three times in one paragraph, so this must be really hot stuff. Eventually there will be no more incisions - surgeons will be able to remove your uterus through your nose, spleen through your butt etc. What a world. \*I realize that seeing the words “Natural Orifice” will send **Scylla** off into another round of fraternity reminiscences, but it’s the price we pay for scientific advancement. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/34 "2007-04-20T16:02:45Z")
My first thought on seeing the title of this was **Forte** (voiced by Tim Curry) from **Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christ,mas** , but I couldn’t find a good picture online. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/35 "2007-04-20T17:07:03Z")
Take my uterus, please! Ovaries, useful. Make hormones, keep me from having a beard, okay. Cervix kinda handy, lets me know when the guy’s big enough, okay. Uterus? WTF? Okay, first got my period at fourteen, now forty eight. Twelve times a year times five days each equals sixty days a year bleeding out my ass and cramping. TWO FUCKING MONTHS OUT OF TWELVE. 17% of my time spent bleeding. Times 34 years so far, times two months of every goddamned year means that I’ve spend more than five and a half years of my life bleeding out my ass and cramping! I’ve had two kids, I did my bit, can we stop with this bullshit? When the hell is menopause supposed to happen, anyway? Can I count on another ten years of this crap? Or will you get pissy like you did to my sisters and give me some nice endometriosis or bleed so copiously the nurse has to put a bucket underneath just to get through the exam? Then fucking surgery to get rid of you, AARRGH! Why the hell doesn’t the damned thing come with an off switch? Uteri, don’t get me started… Too late! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/36 "2007-04-20T17:10:06Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] J.S. Bach: Toccata & Fugue in D minor (BWV 565) was the first thing I thought of when seeing the thread title. [/QUOTE] Unless you’re Howard Goodall. His organ works. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/37 "2007-04-20T17:49:45Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] The gallbladder is another useless drama queen. [/QUOTE] Hear, hear. My own gallbladder is currently fretting and strutting its hour upon the stage, and I’m looking forward to it being heard no more. I already gave my appendix, that third-rate thespian, the hook. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/38 "2007-04-20T18:15:38Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] Eventually there will be no more incisions - surgeons will be able to remove your uterus through your nose, spleen through your butt etc. [/QUOTE] I already had my uterus removed through a naturally-occurring orifice. It’s pretty common these days, actually. Recovery time for a vaginal hysterectomy is around 2-3 weeks (I could have actually gone back to work after the first week if my husband and my boss and my doctor had agreed, but they didn’t, so I laid around for another week, then worked short days for a third. It was pleasant. 😃 ) Old-fashioned hysterectormies take 6-8 weeks, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/39 "2007-04-20T18:33:09Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] Take my uterus, please! Ovaries, useful. Make hormones, keep me from having a beard, okay. Cervix kinda handy, lets me know when the guy’s big enough, okay. Uterus? WTF? Okay, first got my period at fourteen, now forty eight. Twelve times a year times five days each equals sixty days a year **bleeding out my ass** and cramping. TWO FUCKING MONTHS OUT OF TWELVE. 17% of my time spent bleeding. Times 34 years so far, times two months of every goddamned year means that I’ve spend more than five and a half years of my life **bleeding out my ass** and cramping! I’ve had two kids, I did my bit, can we stop with this bullshit? When the hell is menopause supposed to happen, anyway? Can I count on another ten years of this crap? Or will you get pissy like you did to my sisters and give me some nice endometriosis or bleed so copiously the nurse has to put a bucket underneath just to get through the exam? Then fucking surgery to get rid of you, AARRGH! Why the hell doesn’t the damned thing come with an off switch? [/QUOTE] Being a guy I wouldn’t know for sure but I think maybe you’re not doing it right. d&r ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863/40 "2007-04-20T19:11:42Z")
[QUOTE=Siam Sam] Um, just which organ DID you think I meant?? [/QUOTE] I assumed the stomach. But maybe that was just my experience with a bout of food poisoning after eating at a Thai restaurant here in the US. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lazy-good-for-nothing-troublemaking-organs/400863.md?page=3)