# Leafssuck!Leafssuck!Leafssuck! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 7, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794 "2004-04-07T19:11:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/1 "2004-04-07T19:11:54Z")
Nothing against the good people of Toronto or the fair city itself, but the Leafs suck and here’s to wishing them a speedy exit from the race for the Stanley Cup. I don’t hate the players, or even the fans that live in Toronto. I just hate the fans who work for the CBC and the idiotic “Canada’s team” drivel thal spews forth from the anus -like mouths of Leaf’s fans outside of their natural habitat. The fucking team hasn’t won the Cup since 1967 ferchrissake- plenty of actual Canadian teams have won since then. The thought of watching the Cup- winning goal or other series clinching highlight on the intro to Hockey Night in Canada for the rest of my life sends paroxysms of nausea shuddering through my body. Speed on Ottawa Senators, and eliminate the vile stinkin’ hated Toronto Maple Leafs from the post-season post-haste. Fuckin’ Leafs! ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/2 "2004-04-07T19:44:24Z")
Cheer for the Flames then. They’re Canadian. 🙂 (course…so are the Canucks. Hmmm) ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/3 "2004-04-07T20:18:50Z")
> [@coven](#): > > I just hate the fans who work for the CBC and the idiotic “Canada’s team” drivel that spews forth… I hear you. I feel the similarly here in the U.S. about the way Eastern sportswriters, especially NY-based ones, say that kind of rubbish about the Yankees. This has been particularly noisome since 9/11. “America’s Team.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/4 "2004-04-07T20:33:18Z")
According to the [Ottawa Sun](http://www.ottawasun.com/) , the Leafs do indeed [suck](http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/OttawaSun/News/2004/04/07/411284.html) . For the linkage impaired, the Ottawa Sun hired a plane to fly around downtown Toronto today with a banner that reads “Leafs Suck! Go Sens Go”. A photo is in the first link and a news article in the second. There is no direct linkable photo available, so the first link may change at any time. GO SENS GO! ---
**Author:** ![Shaggarito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@Shaggarito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaggarito)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/5 "2004-04-07T20:34:08Z")
Cowboy’s used to do that shit. Calling themselves “America’s Team”. ---
**Author:** ![Aguecheek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Aguecheek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aguecheek)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/6 "2004-04-07T21:11:25Z")
> [@coven](#): > > Speed on Ottawa Senators, and eliminate the vile stinkin’ hated Toronto Maple Leafs from the post-season post-haste. > Fuckin’ Leafs! Preach it, brother. Ottawa in '04! ---
**Author:** ![CuriousCanuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@CuriousCanuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriousCanuck)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/7 "2004-04-07T22:36:34Z")
Living in Ottawa, and watching the Sens play, I just have to say… They don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell. GO LEAFS GO!!! GO LEAFS GO! ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/8 "2004-04-07T23:52:08Z")
That’s right, the Leafs suck!!! Go Flyers! We’re gonna kick all your whimimg Canadian asses! That’s right, you heard me. You might have invented the game, but it’s ours now. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/9 "2004-04-07T23:55:12Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > …whimimg… Er, maybe whining would fit in a little better there? ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/10 "2004-04-08T01:04:46Z")
> [@Shaggarito](#): > > Cowboy’s used to do that shit. Calling themselves “America’s Team”. Same with the effin Braves. I guess they had to try the America’s team line since they couldn’t get anyone in Atlanta to show up. ---
**Author:** ![LastStanding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8edcca/32.png) [@LastStanding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LastStanding)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/11 "2004-04-08T01:14:53Z")
FYI coven,…the Leafs OWN the sens.This is the Leafs’s year and the addition of Leech and Francis are going to pay HUGH dividends in the playoffs.You gotta problem with that?..tough shit…deal with it. Reap the whirlwind,baby. GO LEAFS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/12 "2004-04-08T01:31:20Z")
Centre of the UNIVERSE! CANADA’S team!! GO LEAFS GO!!! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/13 "2004-04-08T03:41:39Z")
Oh, please. **coven,** you have nothing to worry about. The Leafs are not going to win the Cup this year. They are not going to win it next year. They will not win it the year after that, or the year after that, or any year after those. They will never win the Stanley Cup, ever. If they play NHL hockey for five thousand years the Leafs will not win the Cup a single time. It does not matter if they get Brian Leetch or Ron Francis or if they use a time machine to go get a 23-year-old Wayne Gretzky or if Jesus Christ Himself returns to earth as a power forward. It would not matter if every other team in the NHL was wiped out in plane crashes and the Leafs were asked to play against teams cobbled together from college players and minor leaguers. Their chances of winning the Cup are exactly zero. It is entirely possible the Leafs will defeat the Senators. It is quite possible they will defeat whatever team they face in Round 2. It is even conceivable, albeit unlikely, that they will vanquish thier foe in the conference final and reach the Stanley Cup finals. But they will lose. Be it in Round 1, or 2, or 3, or 4, the Leafs, sooner or later, are going to lose. It is as certain as the sun rising in the morning. The Leafs are losers; always have been, at least during the period of time when the NHL was a real league, and always will be. Every Leaf “fan” - I put the word in quotation marks because Leaf fans are not true fans of hockey, but are more like servile dogs or cult members, and usually are completely ignorant of the sport - can look forward to one year after another of misery, to never seeing the Leafs hoist the Cup, until they day they die. Only in their final moment will they realize what a stupid waste of time it was to be a Leaf “fan.” ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/14 "2004-04-08T05:21:03Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > …It does not matter if they get Brian Leetch or Ron Francis or if they use a time machine to go get a 23-year-old Wayne Gretzky or if Jesus Christ Himself returns to earth as a power forward. No-no, no, dude. Jesus doesn’t play power forward. He plays goalie. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/15 "2004-04-08T06:40:21Z")
> [@coven](#): > > The thought of watching the Cup- winning goal or other series clinching highlight on the intro to Hockey Night in Canada for the rest of my life sends paroxysms of nausea shuddering through my body. Speed on Ottawa Senators, and eliminate the vile stinkin’ hated Toronto Maple Leafs from the post-season post-haste. > Fuckin’ Leafs! Amen! Here’s to an Ottawa-Vancouver final. (Hey, I can dream can’t I?) ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/16 "2004-04-08T06:50:53Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > No-no, no, dude. Jesus doesn’t play power forward. He plays goalie. 😃 You’re obviously thinking of the bumper sticker you saw around Philly back in the Flyers’ glory days in the 70s: “Only God saves more than Bernie Parent” ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/17 "2004-04-08T06:56:46Z")
Well, hockey first… Everybody knows the road to the cup leads to Denver(sorry to all you Canucks). That said, I have one thing to say to the OP. Ed Belfour. Figure him out, you’re gold, but damn, he’s got skills(course he can’t match up to Patrick, but none can). But yeah, I agree, calling yourself some nations team is damn presumptuous. The Yankees are America’s team? Huh? Did I get a fucking vote here? The Dallas Convicts are America’s team? Fucking what? Great America’s team is rapists and drug dealers. Wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/18 "2004-04-08T07:04:49Z")
Heh…I was too young in the 70s to appreciate Bernie Parent but you’ve nailed my intent, **Northern Piper** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/19 "2004-04-08T07:21:05Z")
> [@LastStanding](#): > > the addition of Leech and Francis are going to pay HUGH dividends in the playoffs.GO LEAFS!!! Just wish I could get my hands on some of them **“HUGH”** dividends! Fuckin’ Leafs mooks. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794/20 "2004-04-08T07:35:17Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Oh, please. > > **coven,** you have nothing to worry about. > > The Leafs are not going to win the Cup this year. They are not going to win it next year. They will not win it the year after that, or the year after that, or any year after those. They will never win the Stanley Cup, ever. If they play NHL hockey for five thousand years the Leafs will not win the Cup a single time. > > It does not matter if they get Brian Leetch or Ron Francis or if they use a time machine to go get a 23-year-old Wayne Gretzky or if Jesus Christ Himself returns to earth as a power forward. It would not matter if every other team in the NHL was wiped out in plane crashes and the Leafs were asked to play against teams cobbled together from college players and minor leaguers. Their chances of winning the Cup are exactly zero… the Leafs, sooner or later, are going to lose. It is as certain as the sun rising in the morning. > > The Leafs are losers; always have been, at least during the period of time when the NHL was a real league, and always will be. Every Leaf “fan” - I put the word in quotation marks because Leaf fans are not true fans of hockey, but are more like servile dogs or cult members, and usually are completely ignorant of the sport - can look forward to one year after another of misery, to never seeing the Leafs hoist the Cup, until they day they die. Only in their final moment will they realize what a stupid waste of time it was to be a Leaf “fan.” **RickJay** You offer me the quiet comfort of a soothing salve placed on my brow by Mother Mary herself. May whatever Greater Being you believe in watch your steps for the rest of your days. Go in peace and be well, may all you children and your children’s children be blessed. I honestly love you more than my own testicles. **coven** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leafssuck-leafssuck-leafssuck/238794.md?page=2)