# League of Extraordinary...G.I. Joes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 7, 2009, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631 "2009-08-07T14:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/21 "2009-08-08T00:03:40Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > Ahem. Look upthread. Good grief. Whose stupid idea was that? ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/22 "2009-08-08T00:04:25Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Michael Weston – Code Name: Burn Notice > > Former spy who joined the Joe team after getting burned. Works for the Joes while he attempts to uncover who burned him… and why. [Brilliant idea! 😉](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11421159&postcount=5) Actually, mad props to the Jack Bauer contribution. Thought of another one: Tommy Gavin, Fireman. Codename…uhhh…Smokejump? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/23 "2009-08-08T00:19:08Z")
> [@ArizonaTeach](#): > > Thought of another one: Tommy Gavin, Fireman. Codename…uhhh…Smokejump? “Blowtorch”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/24 "2009-08-08T00:42:38Z")
Earl Basset, expert on monsters. Codename: Graboid ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/25 "2009-08-08T01:00:01Z")
Hrm…continuing the WWF/E theme of Sarge and Piper… For Joe: The Rock - Communications. Secondary Speciality: Cook. For Cobra: Vince McMahon, Codename: Chairman - Propaganda and recruiting. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/26 "2009-08-08T02:16:14Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > “Blowtorch”. 😉 There’s already a Joe named Blowtorch. The other flamethrowers of the team are Charbroil, Blast-Off and Ice Cream Soldier. The firefighter is Barbecue. That’s why I settled on Smokejumper, but that’s really not what Tommy does… Dear God am I over thinking this or what? The NCIS or JAG guys would definitely be on the team as support members, with “Bugsy” and “Eyes” (Good call - but I’d go with Shawn Spenser, Codename “Psyche”!) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/27 "2009-08-08T02:31:01Z")
> [@ArizonaTeach](#): > > There’s already a Joe named Blowtorch. There’s also one named “Maverick”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/28 "2009-08-08T03:52:06Z")
Every team needs an off-kilter member: Why not [Darkman](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darkman)? Codename: “Nobody”. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/29 "2009-08-08T07:28:53Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > 1. At the minimum, we need the character, some note of their recommendation/qualifications, and a possible code name. Writing a [pithy filecard](http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/83/tripwire.shtml), a la the action figures would be great, but not required. Just as an aside, I would wager that, for many children of the 1980s, this was where we first learned of the Warsaw Pact. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/30 "2009-08-08T11:49:25Z")
Major Alan Schaefer “Dutch” - Skills: Team leader Special Forces, Infiltration and extraction. Other skills: Extra-terrestrial extermination. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/31 "2009-08-08T12:08:12Z")
Cobra villian: PeeWee “Crank one out” Herman. Primary attribute: Enhanced wrist action. Skills: Starts screaming and flailing about when Joe says special code word resulting in annoyance to Joe and depletion of his ammo supply. Minor skill: Some ability to lurk in dark theaters. Liabilities: Likely pedophile. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/32 "2009-08-08T12:21:39Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > That’s no crazier than [Sgt Slaughter](http://www.yojoe.com/action/85/sgtslaughter.shtml) and [Rowdy Roddie Piper](http://www.yojoe.com/action/07/rowdyroddypiper.shtml). Or [the Fridge](http://www.yojoe.com/action/86/fridge.shtml). > > Apparently, there was a Buzz Aldrin fig, too, but I can find no proof of that, save a Wikipedia mention. Drats, I was going to suggest these. I know Aldrin got a [12" figure](http://www.amazon.com/Joe-Classic-Collection-Aldrin-Figure/dp/B00000JE0Y) but I don’t know if there were any plans on putting him into the smaller line. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/33 "2009-08-08T12:21:43Z")
**Doc Holliday - Code name "Huckleberry"** Can outduel anyone in a gunfight- while smoking a cigarette, yet. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/34 "2009-08-08T14:01:12Z")
[hijack] I’ve been reading those file cards. Isn’t it a little cruel to codename a guy “Hit’n Run” whose parents were killed by a drunk driver? Still, those cards are VERY fun to read.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/35 "2009-08-08T14:36:41Z")
The ‘Rocky’ one I suggested was… _planned_, but never completed. He did show up in the comic book. And his opponent was made: Big Boa. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/36 "2009-08-08T17:08:30Z")
If we’re doing WWF/E guys you’ve gotta have Mick Foley in there. He’s not the toughest of the tough guys, but his reputation for psychotic acts of violence causes Cobra to have an almost supernatural fear of him and leads to the following dialog among the Joes. “What is his deal?” “I don’t know, I’m just glad he’s on our side.” “Is he, really?” “So far.” Also, he has three nicknames. ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/37 "2009-08-08T17:09:44Z")
Dr. Gregory House, codename “Cranky”. Not the most liked of the team, but very useful whenever Cobra decides to spread mystery illnesses to threaten the world. Catchphrase “It’s never lupus”. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/38 "2009-08-08T17:15:20Z")
BTW, [Matt Trakker is apparently a Joe](http://www.hisstank.com/gi-joe-news/25th-anniversary-3/mask-returns-specialist-matt-trakker-gi-joe-figure-7741/). ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/39 "2009-08-08T19:31:08Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > BTW, [Matt Trakker is apparently a Joe](http://www.hisstank.com/gi-joe-news/25th-anniversary-3/mask-returns-specialist-matt-trakker-gi-joe-figure-7741/). It’s kind of sucky how they made the leader of the entire MASK unit an E4? WHy’s he a Specialist? > **[Specialist Trakker (v1) G.I. Joe Action Figure - YoJoe Archive](https://www.yojoe.com/action/08/matttrakker.shtml)** > > Specialist Trakker was released with the seventh wave of single packs in 2008. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631/40 "2009-08-09T16:05:38Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > It’s kind of sucky how they made the leader of the entire MASK unit an E4? WHy’s he a Specialist? > > [Specialist Trakker (v1) G.I. Joe Action Figure - YoJoe Archive](http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/08/matttrakker.shtml) Maybe it’s branch specific [del]army[/del]joespeak, and he’s actually a civilian contractor. 😃 Okay, at the risk of being over creepy/geeky, howsabout: Kim Possible! Code Name—probably just her name, minus the space and the uppercase “P.” “She can do anything,™” or so goes her tagline. With the added bonus that she already has a ready made battle uniform; it just needs a bandolier with some extra weapons and grenades that she never actually uses. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/league-of-extraordinary-g-i-joes/505631.md?page=3)