# Learn and use the Man-Rules when it comes to showers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756 "2007-12-20T22:03:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/41 "2007-12-21T04:58:43Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] I dunno that if the naked thing really relates to being seen as gay, or not, maybe its just not wanting to be seen naked, period. There are usually a very small number of people you want to see you naked, and usually only one at a time. [/QUOTE] That’s kind of an American hang up. Nude=potential sex, somehow. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/42 "2007-12-21T05:12:19Z")
I thought you were going to bitch about how we girls overtook your manly shower in the master bath. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/43 "2007-12-21T05:12:41Z")
When I wrestled in high school, one of our seniors won the state championship (he later went on to wrestle at Harvard.) Supposedly after he won, a bunch of freshmen had to wash different parts of him in the shower. One guy had to wash his cock, the other his ass, etc. I only heard about this, I did not actually witness it. I was a freshman at the time and apparently spared from this. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/44 "2007-12-21T05:38:00Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] In Army basic the shower room was kinda like this: 1…2 3…4 5…6 with partitions in between but no shower curtains. Partitions, you say? What a luxury! Except we were at least 30 guys with maybe 30-45 seconds for the whole lot of us to shower and you DID have to shower so that’s like 5 guys/shower head. Personal man space? Not so much. [/QUOTE] You know, this just makes me angry. How much do we spend on Defense and we can’t even afford enough showers? Body armor be damned. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/45 "2007-12-21T12:04:46Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] That’s kind of an American hang up. Nude=potential sex, somehow. [/QUOTE] I don’t understand. Excepting POW torture scenarios, hippie nudist colonies and those people in National Geographic, are you saying there is another kind of interaction available when two or more people are simultaneously naked? Because Man Code (nay – manly _genetics_) clearly dictates that anything more than an accidental glance at a human’s naked form is an explicit statement of intention to have sex with that person. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/46 "2007-12-21T13:46:36Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] See, this is the kind of Man Code violation that pisses me off. Though clearly a face-punch offense, you can’t just turn around and deck him in the middle of doing your business. Besides the mess, intentionally turning around to face a man with your junk hanging out, even for the purpose of inflicting grevious bodily harm, is itself a violation of both Man Code and urinal etiquette. And you can’t go after the guy once he’s left as the punishment must be administered heat-of-the-moment, as it is not severe enough to warrant anything harsher. Bet he knew it, too. Bastard. [/QUOTE] In this case, the proper response is “Dude, I _will_ piss on your leg”. If he looks a little shocked, then you can reply with “I was mid-stream, man”. That should defuse the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/47 "2007-12-21T13:48:17Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] When I wrestled in high school, one of our seniors won the state championship (he later went on to wrestle at Harvard.) Supposedly after he won, a bunch of freshmen had to wash different parts of him in the shower. One guy had to wash his cock, the other his ass, etc. I only heard about this, I did not actually witness it. I was a freshman at the time and apparently spared from this. [/QUOTE] Um. That’s pretty gay, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/48 "2007-12-21T13:50:37Z")
[QUOTE=Sauron] Also, Extra Strength Gold Bond Medicated Powder has a LOT of menthol in it, and you should know that if you plan to put it on any chafed areas of your body. [/QUOTE] I just came in to say - word! Bought some specially (all the way from Canada I think) thinking medicated powder would be ideal for helping to heal said chafed areas. All I can say is no, no it doesn’t. And ‘Ow!’ BTW, anyone in the UK want a nearly full bottle of Gold Bond…? ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/49 "2007-12-21T14:07:04Z")
[QUOTE=Smeghead] Man Rule 2a: The Man Rules Do Not Exist [/QUOTE] Are you nuts, or do you just like being the guy that talks when urinating? If you’re that guy, I respectfully submit that you might find the ladies’ room more to your liking. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/50 "2007-12-21T14:16:48Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Besides the mess, intentionally turning around to face a man with your junk hanging out, even for the purpose of inflicting grevious bodily harm, is itself a violation of both Man Code and urinal etiquette. [/QUOTE] It’s also an explicit safety violation, in more than one sense. Never draw attention to your junk during a fistfight. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/51 "2007-12-21T14:17:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Are you nuts, or do you just like being the guy that talks when urinating? > > If you’re that guy, I respectfully submit that you might find the ladies’ room more to your liking. I think **Smeghead** was just saying that men don’t talk about the Man Rules. Kinda like the whole Fight Club thing. Of course, that means I’ve broken one of the unspoken Man Rules, and now vengeance will be visited upon me. Possibly by break-dancing, close-showering ninjas. I might skip the Y today. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/52 "2007-12-21T14:22:52Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Um. That’s pretty gay, dude. [/QUOTE] Duh. It was wrestling… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/53 "2007-12-21T14:28:36Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF] \If you’re that guy, I respectfully submit that you might find the ladies’ room more to your liking. [/QUOTE] Hey, we don’t want him - he might pee on something. Or leave the seats up. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/54 "2007-12-21T14:50:42Z")
[QUOTE=Patty O’Furniture] I wonder what the OP would do in the steam room. Sit across from each oether, so that you’re staring at each other’s glistening naked firm bodies? Or sit side by side which increases the chances of bare knees touching. I get all tingly just thinking about it. [/QUOTE] Just caught this … the gym I used to frequent had a small sauna, with room for about eight guys total. It was rarely used, but occasionally I’d go in and two other guys would already be there. Not always the same two guys, but it was always two. I dunno why. I learned most of what I know about boar hunting during those times, while I stared intently at the wood grain of the bench right next to me. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/55 "2007-12-21T15:09:54Z")
When I read about a guy breakdancing after working out, I instantly thought of [this.](http://www.themovieblog.com/archives/dammedancing01.gif) By any chance, was that the guy in the shower next to you? (Link completely safe for work despite the weirdness of it all.) ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/56 "2007-12-21T15:13:07Z")
[QUOTE=Ravenman] When I read about a guy breakdancing after working out, I instantly thought of [this.](http://www.themovieblog.com/archives/dammedancing01.gif) By any chance, was that the guy in the shower next to you? [/QUOTE] I had to look at it out of the corner of my eye to be sure, but no. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/57 "2007-12-21T16:24:46Z")
Sorry, **Sauron** , but you gave the other guy conflicting signals. You were using Old Spice Red Zone Deep Cleansing Body Wash with MicroBeads™, which is considered a borderline product on the Manly scale. Real men use Lava soap. Washcloths are not permitted but you can use a pumice stone or an SOS pad. Next are any unscented soaps of the Dial or Lifebuoy variety. Then are the scented versions of those soaps, moving towards Zest (the name sounds like it belongs in chorus line) and Irish Spring (any product that says, “Manly, yes…” “…but I like it too” is admitting to confusion about its gender). Then comes any body wash associated with the soap manufacturers. Technically it is soap but it is a “soft” soap. Next is a body wash made by a cologne manufacturer (your choice). This is followed by any soap like Carress, Camay or Oil of Olay. Finally are the little hand soaps shaped like sea shells and flowers or any soap that makes you smell like you are washing with a bouquet of daffodils. Your choice of cleansing material sends the message of, “I’m going to get naked and cover myself with a thick liquid. The name of the product might sound tough but it is made by a company that proudly tells us how easily it will help me attract a sexual partner.” Next time you are there, use a belt sander to send the right message. By the way, I hope you didn’t confuse the man any further by singing Village People songs. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/58 "2007-12-21T16:40:22Z")
Just want to throw out another possible response that came up in a conversation with a couple of exteammates last night. You should have turned to the guy showering next to you and suggested that if he really loved the Earth you guys would share a showerhead. Which should make him uncomfortable enough to leave there by giving you the win? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/59 "2007-12-21T16:58:50Z")
Point of order, **Slypork** : It’s difficult to keep bars of soap in a gym bag without the soap suds lunging out all over the place and getting everything all goopy. The body-wash stuff is a happy compromise, in my mind. And I NEVER use the daffodil-smelling stuff at the gym … only at home, when I want to feel special and pretty. **Oredigger77** : But what if the guy had agreed? _ **Then** _ I’m between a rock and hard place. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756/60 "2007-12-21T17:23:03Z")
[QUOTE=Sauron] **Oredigger77** : But what if the guy had agreed? _ **Then** _ I’m between a rock and hard place. [/QUOTE] Maybe not a place, but a hard _something_, anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-and-use-the-man-rules-when-it-comes-to-showers/430756.md?page=4)