# Learn how to park your gleaming new car, asshole, and stop with the insurance fraud **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277 "2003-02-06T19:00:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/41 "2003-02-08T05:25:01Z")
I have witnessed car alarms going off because of strong winds. That’s all I have to say here. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/42 "2003-02-08T05:54:42Z")
My sister’s car alarm is no longer used because it would go off at work – an airport – whenever a plane took off from a certain runway. It would go off at home whenever a city bus, heavy truck or loud motorcycle (the really obnoxiously loud kind) drove past. If someone had to squeeze between her car and one that was parked too closely next to it, or if someone’s door rested against the rubber thingys on her door edges they most certainly would’ve set the thing off too. But the simple matter is that a door dent is a door dent, and scratches are something entirely different. Scratches are not caused by a door edge meeting a door panel, and if this woman is trying to claim that they are, she’s a liar, an insurance defrauder and a criminal, period. And this being the Pit, I think the obvious response to such a person is clear: _fucko off!_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/43 "2003-02-08T08:57:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*They had to impress their _sister_? \*\* Well, the show did manage to include every other stereotype about Southerners… ---
**Author:** ![samboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@samboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samboy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/44 "2003-02-08T09:24:14Z")
This is the PIT for fucks sake. - Snap off her windscreen wipers! - Surreptitiously connect her tow-bar to her front balcony! - Mock her belief or Value system. or if you really want to fuck her up, - Buy a newer, bigger, better SUV. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/45 "2003-02-08T10:29:35Z")
I’m with you **samboy** , and for that matter **red\_dragon60**. **jarbabyj** : grow a sense of humour, or failing that, grow a fucking sense of perspective. **badmana** : grow a tumor. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lodoen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@Jeff\_Lodoen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lodoen)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/46 "2003-02-08T10:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Well, the show did manage to include every other stereotype about Southerners… \*\* They were all cousins, they weren’t sickos! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/47 "2003-02-08T10:48:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rocketeer \* > \*\*I just thought I would mention that I found myself laughing out loud at a post for the first time ever when I read **Cervaise** ’s. > > Thank you. I guess it was something about the italics. > > (snork) (snork) > > (giggle) \*\* I had the same reaction, but I think it was the “ **Oh that’s rich** ” line that did it for me. [sub]snork[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BURNER](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@BURNER](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BURNER)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/48 "2003-02-08T10:57:08Z")
Thats the spirit , **samboy**!!! Lets go get her. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/49 "2003-02-08T18:44:24Z")
Strong wind = car moving motion. All I’m stating that a “tap” with a door should not set off an alarm. A hit strong enough to move the vehicle on it’s suspension is. This is the Pit **nogginhead** , expect people to question your rants…sheesh. Kids these days…what happened to putting a few nails into the sides of her tires? Totally destroys them and needs to be replaced. > [@](#): > > - Surreptitiously connect her tow-bar to her front balcony! LOL! You can also throw some dead rats on her car. Put on funny bumper stickers that she might not notice “honk for a blow job!”, “Hooker for rent” etc. Or, and I’ve done this as a youth but I’ll deny it if you ask me, but some dog shit along the front edge of her front windshield (where many cars take internal air from). She’ll be smelling shit for weeks if she uses her a/c / heater. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/50 "2003-02-08T19:14:49Z")
This is one of many reasons I keep a disposable camera in my glove compartment at all times. For this situation, I think pics of how close she was + “damage” on her car + “damage” on your car would’ve shut her up in a hurry. Great evidence, that–can’t argue with accurate photos. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/51 "2003-02-08T19:41:57Z")
For some reason people don’t come at [me](http://fff.fathom.org/pages/gusnspot/gustwed.JPG) that way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nogginhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5e9695/32.png) [@nogginhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nogginhead)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/52 "2003-02-08T19:59:38Z")
I can’t imagine why. You seem like a fine, upstanding citizen. A role model, even. Sir. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277/53 "2003-02-09T07:02:20Z")
Thats me. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-park-your-gleaming-new-car-asshole-and-stop-with-the-insurance-fraud/153277.md?page=2)