# Learn how to walk you stupid wastes of space! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 30, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980 "2001-08-30T18:48:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/21 "2001-08-30T21:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > ‘hand-and-a-half’, eh? Forty inches long, forty inches long. When I eventually break down and buy a scabbard, it’s going to have to be a Magnum. You know, for those who think regular sheaths are just too constricting. ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/22 "2001-08-30T21:11:20Z")
I work in the building next to Radio City Music Hall. This means that in the winter, it is physically impossible to exit the building during lunchtime. There are at least three tour buses unloading ass every day. Thank everything that is good and appetizing that we have a vast concourse filled with over-priced foodstuffs at our disposal. Now don’t get me started on those annoying fucks who wear forty inch scabbards during rush hour… ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/23 "2001-08-30T21:20:06Z")
Yeah, they’re fucking assholes, aren’t they? I was going to comment that “Unloading Ass” would be a lovely band name, but you went and blew it. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/24 "2001-08-31T08:47:16Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by lno \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maeglin \* > > I always had a daydream of going to New York but dressing the part of a hick - denim overalls, baseball cap with the logo of a seed company, maybe even chewing a sprout of alfalfa - and walk through the streets saying “Gol-ly! There shure are a whole lotta big buildings in these here big city!” Stopping in the middle of streets, standing in the center of the escalator, blocking the top of the stairs, et cetera. > > The experiment is to see how long until I’m shot. I think, if I choose to commit suicide, I’ll do it that way. > \*\* Not gonna happen. New Yorkers would just presume you were performance art. ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/25 "2001-08-31T12:28:54Z")
I used to play a fun game when i lived in Tokyo. there, people take traffic rules and etiquette very seriously. Nobody would dream of jaywalking, or, God-forbid, crossing against the light. Even if there weren’t a car around for miles, they would placidly wait for the “Walk” signal. Sometimes, when I was feeling impish, I would wait till there was a goodly-sized crowd and start crossing against a red light. Upon seeing someone crossing, everyone would assume that all was well, and would start out en-masse, take about 3 steps, then realize what they were doing and jump back in horror. It was mean and petty, but then again, so am I. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/26 "2001-08-31T13:31:54Z")
> [@](#): > > I took a few people from out of town practically from West 4th Street to St. Mark’s Place Directions from W 4th (assuming W. 4th St. Station @ 6th. Ave.) to St. Mark’s Place: Pointing in direction of 8th St. (North), walk 4 blocks, make a right (pointing east now). Walk 7 blocks, past big black cube, crossing 3rd Ave. Welcome to St. Mark’s Admit it, you were hoping to score with one of the innocent tourists. – _Cooper Union Alumni_ ---
**Author:** ![NYR407](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@NYR407](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NYR407)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/27 "2001-08-31T13:52:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > \*\*NYR407: > > Don’t even get me started on those dipshits. I ride to work during rush hour every day. My favorite are the morons who are already on the train, standing right next to the door, and when the train pulls up to a major station (like union square) instead of stepping off so the people who are getting off can do so, they stand right in the middle of the door in the way of all 50 of those trying to leave the train. > > Goddamit people! Common sense!!! I don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to smack the fuck out of people on the train. I guess it’s a good thing they don’t let you have guns here. I could think of 5 times today alone I would have contributed to making a polite society by blasting these thoughtless fucks. > > DaLovin’Dj \*\* I hear ya, I take the 4/5 everyday. So we covered the morons walking on the side walk, the idiots shoving their way onto the train before people get off and the scumbags on the train that block the doors. Now how about those jackass’ that think the best time to pedal their worthless crap, preach about Religion or beg for money on a subway car is right in the middle of rush hour. Have you ever seen the blind accordian player? Now I feel bad for him and all but does he have to walk through the train and push his way past hundreds of people? I have given $ to some in the past but I never give to anyone that is distrupting my commute. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/28 "2001-08-31T14:21:07Z")
Obviously I knew how to fucking get there, **Ray**. It’s not that hard. But they had no fucking clue. And no, I’ll be damned if I was looking to score. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/29 "2001-08-31T17:50:40Z")
Excuse me, I live in Atlanta and am a bit confused by this thread. What is this thing called “walking” of which you people speak? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/30 "2001-08-31T17:57:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beeblebrox \* > \*\*What is this thing called “walking” of which you people speak? \*\* What, does everyone hover in Atlanta? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/31 "2001-08-31T18:46:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*I don’t have that much of a beef with “out-of-towners” walking around my sidewalks, but then again San Francisco/Oakland isn’t as crowded as NYC. > > But there has been something that has been smoldering in my little brain for a while now. I must speak … > > Escalators. > I will make this very simple: > > Stand on the right; walk on the left. > > **Stand** on the right; **walk** on the left! > > **STAND** on the **RIGHT** ; **WALK** on the **LEFT!** > > **STAND ON THE RIGHT; WALK ON THE LEFT!!** > > **In the name of all that is good and sacred on this great green goddamned planet, FUCKING STAND ON THE GODDAMNED RIGHT; MOTHERFUCKING WALK ON THE COCKSUCKING LEFT!!** > > I hope I’ve cleared this issue up. \*\* And while we’re on the subject: If you are carrying 18 shoulder bags for your little overnight trip, the place _not_ to stop and reaarange all them is: **RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ESCALTOR** Get out of the fucking way to do that! Grrrrrrrr. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/32 "2001-08-31T19:05:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maeglin \* > I was going to comment that “Unloading Ass” would be a lovely band name, but you went and blew it. So who’s the lucky guy?😉 ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/33 "2001-08-31T19:31:38Z")
> [@](#): > > If you are carrying 18 shoulder bags for your little overnight trip, the place not to stop and reaarange all them is: > > RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ESCALTOR Ohh, these mutha fuckas. On the trains too. In Rush hour. Let me give all you travelling subway riders a tip: If you have more luggage then they would allow you to carry on a plane, take a damn taxi. Getting on a train that is going to be filled to capacity, during rush hour, with 5 suitcases is not the best plan. Dammit, I need to switch the hours I work. All this rush hour stuff kills me. Dalovin’Dj ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/34 "2001-08-31T19:50:35Z")
Oh my gosh, this would be a good time to mention the people who wear the backpacks that are about 4 times as big as a human being. This means you take up four times as much space as you usually do. Hey brainiac, if you are wearing one of those backpacks, and you turn around to look at the map, you have just taken out half of the riders on the A train. You have now sacrificed five elderly women, a blind man _and his seeing eye dog_, four children, one mom with a baby stroller, and one of those guys selling batteries when you whipped around to say something to your friend (also tricked out with a backpack the size of small walrus). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/35 "2001-08-31T21:25:12Z")
You are lucky you don’t live in Chicago - city of the big butts. Two people can block the whole sidewalk in this city! I have taken on the responsibility of being the City Jerk (somebody has to do it, it might as well be me). I realize you don’t need such a thing in NYC (lots of 'em already), but here in Chicago, people will go out of the way just to go around a 5-wide family. “Do ya need the whole sidewalk, idiot??” “Hey, bike rider, this is a sideWALK - jerk.” “Not in your way, am I, asshole?” “Walk to the right, moron” “Get the fuck outta my way” Normally, I just walk right at the biggest one or the most egregious offender and let them move - they don’t move they get bashed with whatever I am carrying and a very sarcastic “Excuuuuse me”. (my most vociferous abuse still goes to cabbies, though) ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/36 "2001-08-31T22:08:27Z")
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Cabbies. Let me count the ways I have battled with them. Just cause I’m drunk doesn’t mean you can take me 20 blocks in the wrong direction before you head to where I told you. If I want to switch on the little green heater button, I will goddamit. Why would it be there in the back, with me, if it’s not my choice. Putting a glowing green button in front of me and telling me not to push it is not going to work out. Yes I want to listen to the radio goddamit. Your taxi-man cb radio is totally annoying for many reasons, but especially because no one is speaking english on it. Don’t pick me up and THEN stop for gas goddamit. I don’t want to be your friend, I don’t want to chit-chat, I don’t care what you think about politics, religion, family, or drugs. If I want to talk about those things with strangers I’ll go to the SDMB. Traffic laws exist for a reason: Safety. Let’s not drive like we are in a goddam car chase. Yeah, I’ve got two stops. Deal. Yeah I live in Brooklyn, quit your whining. Get off that goddamn cell phone before I teach you the meaning of respect: The hard way. YES I mind if you stop at a Deli. I DO know the best way, so don’t give me any goddamn lip when I tell you which way to go. Don’t flirt with the ladies I’m with. And finally, for christ sake get some Lysol or something. A little fuckin’ smelly tree to hang on the mirror at least. What the fuck did you eat for lunch in here? Fried goats ass? Errrrrrrr. DaLovin’Dk ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980/37 "2001-08-31T22:27:20Z")
I liked what **DJ** said about the traffic lights on the sidewalk. I think people should adopt the same rules for walking on sidewalks as we use for driving. 1. People walking in a straight line have right of way over turners. Do not walk right in front of me - I will step on you. Wait for a break in traffic to make your left turn. 2. Slower walkers to the right of the sidewalk to let faster walkers pass on the left side. 3. When making complete stops or turning around, check behind you to make sure someone is not going to run over you. Again, I will step on you if you stop dead in front of me. 4. Don’t block the sidewalk. If you’re having a nice chat with some friends, park yourselves on the side of traffic (this applies to office hallways, as well). 5. Keep small children under control. You may think it’s great that your toddler is walking, but as he weaves his tottering way back and forth across the sidewalk, he will eventually get run over, and no one wants that. On a busy sidewalk, he is not known as “the cute baby learning to walk”, but rather as “the obstacle”. 6.When the light changes to “walk”, walk. Please. I know you’re very busy being a high-powered executive on your cell-phone (or a pimp, who cares?), but pay attention so I don’t have to go around you to cross the street. 1. When the light changes to “Don’t walk”, stop walking. You have missed this light, get over it. Don’t run out in front of the car that has very patiently waited to turn right and make the rest of us pedestrians look bad. 2. Pedestrians unloading from the bus - I was just walking down the street, minding my own business until your bus pulled up. You’re merging into the stream of traffic, and sometimes you have to wait two seconds to step off the bus until I’m past you. And all of this from my frustrations walking in sleepy old Calgary - I can’t imagine what it is like living someplace crowded. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/learn-how-to-walk-you-stupid-wastes-of-space/78980.md?page=1)