# Least Appropriate Store Names **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098 "2005-03-11T21:53:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/1 "2005-03-11T21:53:05Z")
Yesterday I made the long drive out to Western Carolina University, and on the way back I was talking to myself (as I like to do on long car rides–when suddenly I interrupted myself and shouted, “Jesus!” and burst out laughing. I’d just passed an ice cream parlor called: JACK THE DIPPER It doesn’t help that I’ve recently read _From Hell_, a graphic-novel account of the JtR murders. A long time ago, my boss got back from a road trip through rural NC, weak with laughter; when she could finally talk, she told me she’d passed a strip mall called CUM PARK PLAZA with an ice-cream-parlor/video store in it called LICKS AND FLICKS What other ludicrous store names have you encountered? Bonus points if they’re about ice cream. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/2 "2005-03-11T21:57:03Z")
Kum & Go - there’s a chain of gas stations with that name, and I cringe every time I see it. For Christmas, my sister-in-law in Florida sent my brother-in-law a hat for a shop called “Master Bait and Tackle.” Got a lot of chuckles when he read that one out loud! Ice cream? I got nothin’. No bonus points for me, today. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/3 "2005-03-11T22:11:18Z")
I’ve always thought [In-N-Out](http://www.in-n-out.com/) was one of the most inappropriate store names I’d ever seen. But what with the above posts, I know it has been topped! Hey, they sell shakes. Do I qualify for the bonus points? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/4 "2005-03-11T22:15:38Z")
Shakes? Sure! Bonus points! I’m trying to remember the name of a heavy equipment manufacturer out west that always made me do schoolboy-giggles. Onan-Cummings, maybe? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/5 "2005-03-11T22:16:25Z")
There used to be a Hooker’s Hot Dogs in Barrington, IL, right next to the Volvo dealer. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/6 "2005-03-11T22:17:32Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Shakes? Sure! Bonus points! > > I’m trying to remember the name of a heavy equipment manufacturer out west that always made me do schoolboy-giggles. Onan-Cummings, maybe? > > Daniel Cummings-Allison? ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/7 "2005-03-11T22:22:53Z")
Down around in Oklahoma and Texas they have these gas stations called “Loaf and Jug”. For one, that doesn’t even make sense. Also, even if it _did_ make sense, it would still be a rediculous name. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/8 "2005-03-11T22:31:44Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > Cummings-Allison? No, the Onan part was definitely in it–I remember being all literati-smug while giggling like a second-grader. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/9 "2005-03-11T22:34:54Z")
Somewhere on the backroads between Eureka Springs, AR and Branson, MO there is a seafood restaurant named [“The Bearded Clam”](http://clamcoveresort.com/thebeardedclam/clam/main.htm). Being the sheltered, innocent maid I am, **Stonebow** had to explain what it meant. :eek: Scroll down and you can see their slogan… The Bearded Clam - Lounge and Eatery :eek: again! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/10 "2005-03-11T22:36:11Z")
There’s a surplus/grocery/whatever store in San Jose called _New Dick’s_. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/11 "2005-03-11T22:37:02Z")
Bunghole Liquors on the Northshore in MA (I think it was in Peabody or Salem). Yeah, I know what a bunghole originally meant but it was still awful. It looked like a really, really old store, though, which I guess excused their awful choice in name. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/12 "2005-03-11T22:46:34Z")
**Left Hand Of Dorkness** : It’s definitely Onan-Cummings. Then there’s **Badcock Furniture** in Georgia. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/13 "2005-03-11T22:50:52Z")
Butte Therapy delivers oxygen tanks in Stockton. OK Monuments sells near our cemetary. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/14 "2005-03-11T22:56:31Z")
[Bunghole Liquor Store, Peabody MA](http://yp.yahoo.com/py/ypMap.py?Pyt=Typ&tuid=21434693&ck=3508546313&tab=B2C&tcat=8014872&city=Manchester&state=MA&uzip=01944&country=us&msa=1120&cs=4&ed=.gyv1a1o2TyjQKz35TsgOOSfylT06kv1i1xo7zHYbFm6&stat=:pos:0:regular:regT:1:fbT:0) ---
**Author:** ![aktep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f0a364/32.png) [@aktep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aktep)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/15 "2005-03-11T23:08:58Z")
> [@raz](#): > > Down around in Oklahoma and Texas they have these gas stations called “Loaf and Jug”. For one, that doesn’t even make sense. Also, even if it _did_ make sense, it would still be a rediculous name. of course it makes sense. It’s where you go to get a \*\* loaf \*\* of bread and a \*\* jug \*\* of milk. Still a weird name. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/16 "2005-03-11T23:33:18Z")
In Fruitland, Idaho there is a bowling alley called the Gay Way Bowl-O-Rama. When I saw it in 1976, the building was painted pink. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/17 "2005-03-11T23:34:04Z")
Cum Park Plaza? That would be Burlington, I believe - I live no more than 30 minutes from there, and used to pass it on a regular basis. Dick’s Crab Shack, at the beach, is not-so-appropriate, but considering they did it for that reason it ain’t that bad… or funny. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/18 "2005-03-12T00:15:32Z")
“House of Discipline”. I was riding my bicycle along the main boulevard, and saw it. I stopped so hard (I wanted to look inside for… reasons.) that I almost got thrown over the handlebars because I thought it was…y’know. It was a martial arts school. Stupid House of Discipline. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/19 "2005-03-12T00:23:30Z")
Lose the G, people. **Cummins** is the diesel engine manufacturer associated with Onan. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/20 "2005-03-12T00:36:52Z")
Back in Buffalo, “Amigone” and “Bury” are both names of funeral homes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098.md?page=2)