# Least Appropriate Store Names **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098 "2005-03-11T21:53:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/61 "2005-03-14T12:47:13Z")
My canadian friend gave me a postcard froma local diner called **Lik-A-Chik**. \*\*Doctor J, \*\* I think I remember Hairport '77 from back when I was at UNCG. The UNCG mascot is a Spartan. When I went back there for a reunion, I noticed that down in the student union they had a booth advertising “Spartan Services.” I guess it’s for folks who don’t want a lot… ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/62 "2005-03-14T13:57:34Z")
[Crabby Dick’s](http://keywest.com/springbreak/graphics/crabbycoupon.gif) [MegaFlick’s](http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/images/megaflicks.jpg) (You need to look at the picture to see why it’s inappropriate) ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/63 "2005-03-14T14:36:57Z")
These are great! > [@DoctorJ](#): > > My favorite, even though it is entirely deliberate, is a company back in Lexington, KY that specializes in big-ass fans (for warehouses, and the like). Their name? **Big Ass Fans**. They have a huge sign that has not pleased the local constabulary. Heh–reminds me of a spectacular Mexican restaurant that used to be in Chapel Hill, NC. No orange cheese and shredded beef there: this place specialized in extremely spicy dishes flavored with tropical fruits you’d never heard of, lots of fresh fish and vegetables, and just generally delicious food. It was run by this immense bearded Mexican guy who looked like a Grateful Dead dropout. He’d come out to your table and tell you absurd stories about the cultural history of your meal, often as not involving princesses being sacrificed in volcanoes or something. The place was named Besa mi Burro, a great Spanish name that had no problem with the City Council’s restrictive sign ordinance until someone realized that the translation was “Kiss my Ass.” We were tremendously pleased with the place, and devastated when a kitchen fire burned the place down. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/64 "2005-03-14T14:40:52Z")
> [@seosamh](#): > > There’s a shop called **S & M Stores** on Uxbridge Road in West Ealing. Unfortunately, all it sells is camping equipment. I can think of a lot of camping equipment that would work just fine for a crunchy-granola-style bondage scenario. Not really inappropriate but good for a laugh is [Dykes Lumber](http://www.dykeslumber.com/). On my way to work I used to pass a hot-dog truck that was parked in someone’s front yard with a “For Sale” sign stuck on it. It was there for years. The name on the truck? “Danger Dogs.” Gee, was “Trichinosis Truck” too hard to spell? ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/65 "2005-03-14T16:32:13Z")
I don’t know if it’s still there, but if you’re on hwy. 401 heading towards Toronto, there’s a large factory that has one lone word on the side of it in big red letters: FAG I’ve passed it several times, most notably on elementary school bus trips, where it brought much amusement to the students. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/66 "2005-03-14T16:34:14Z")
Oh, there’s also a company in my city called Cockburn-Cummings. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/67 "2005-03-14T18:32:27Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > We drove by a place in Indiana once called **Raper’s Rent to Own**. > > My friend said, “Hey, at least they’re up front about their interest rates. They can’t say you weren’t warned.” \ It’s Tom Raper’s RV dealership in Richmond, Indiana. [www.tomraper.com](http://www.tomraper.com) (The slogan is “Save today Tom Raper’s way.”) I always liked “D&C Pizza” on the east side of Indy (10th and something), especially since the signage was bright red. It’s no longer open. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/68 "2005-03-14T19:17:29Z")
Sadly, it has closed, but the sign for automotive accessory store **Ellis The Rim Man** on Comm Ave in Boston was a consistent source of laughter for many a Boston resident. Then there’s [**C.O. Jones**](http://www.c-o-jones.com/), a restaurant in New Haven, CT, that advertises their “Ballsy Mexican Cuisine.” ---
**Author:** ![SuperNelson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@SuperNelson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNelson)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/69 "2005-03-14T20:07:23Z")
An economic development agent was giving me a tour of Lake City, FL last fall. We drove by the [Fu King Chinese Restaraunt.](http://chefmoz.org/United_States/FL/Lake_City/Fu_King_Chinese_Restaurant965609918.html) ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/70 "2005-03-14T22:12:07Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > The place was named Besa mi Burro, a great Spanish name that had no problem with the City Council’s restrictive sign ordinance until someone realized that the translation was “Kiss my Ass.” They got around that by painting the name of the restaurant on the side of a van (hand-painted, very sloppy) and parking it next to the building. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/71 "2005-03-14T22:35:26Z")
In Western Colorado (and perhaps, elsewhere) there is a chain of gas stations/convenience stores called **Gay Johnson’s**. In Palmdale, California is a cosmetic dentistry office owned by none other than **Y.T. Fang** , although I wonder if that is a sort of _nom de plume_ (or would that be, _nom de dent?_ ) And not a store name, but a motto for a butcher shop in Santa Clarita, CA: Nobody beats our meats. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/72 "2005-03-15T01:25:11Z")
I remember a laundry place in Montreal Chinatown named Wah Shing. FAG is a company that makes ball bearings. The 401 sign really is pretty prominent, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Gymnopithys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@Gymnopithys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gymnopithys)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/73 "2005-03-15T19:04:46Z")
_The Greasy Spoon_, a restaurant in Anchorage, Alaska (that was a long time ago). ---
**Author:** ![inquiring\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@inquiring\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inquiring_mind)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/74 "2005-03-15T19:38:49Z")
I walked past this Vietnamese restaurant in Rosemead, CA. It was called **My Dung**. Check out this website: [http://www.rateitall.com/i-101305-my-dung-restaurant-rosemead-ca.aspx](http://www.rateitall.com/i-101305-my-dung-restaurant-rosemead-ca.aspx) ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/75 "2005-03-15T19:45:03Z")
> [@Flamsterette\_X](#): > > There’s a Pho restaurant around here called **Pho Bich Nga**. There’s a pho restaurant here called **Pho Queen**. Someone told me there used to be a \*\*Pho King \*\* as well. (“Pho” is pronounced “fa”). ---
**Author:** ![Dan\_Turk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dan\_Turk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Turk)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/76 "2005-03-15T19:54:28Z")
> [@Patty O'Furniture](#): > > [Crabby Dick’s](http://keywest.com/springbreak/graphics/crabbycoupon.gif) > > [MegaFlick’s](http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/images/megaflicks.jpg) (You need to look at the picture to see why it’s inappropriate) That MegaFucks is the landmark by which I have turned right to get to my dad’s house for years and years. I still laugh at it. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/77 "2005-03-15T21:03:26Z")
Big Ass Fans has a really great [Website](http://www.bigassfans.com/). Check it out, especially the **Genius NOT at work** section. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/78 "2005-03-15T22:35:29Z")
The First 5 Bars That Come To Mind: **Tucker Inn** : Oceanside, NY **Dragger Inn** : A bucket-of-blood in Baldwin, NY The **Pour House** : Bellrose Queens The **Cock** : (Not following OP’s unappropriate label, cuz it’s an) East Village Gay Bar Is there still a **Dirty Dick** ’s in Boston? Others: **Sherlock Homes** - Realtor that’ll find you a place to live in RVC, NY (We have a _Curl Up & Dye_ too) - In Babylon, NY - The owner claims he never saw the Blues Brothers All these Mexican restaurants & no mention of the chain _Cozy-Mel’s_? I still cringe @ The mention of the [**Humpty Dumpty** Memorial Collection Assn](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3867663&postcount=1) - For The Reduction Of Traumatic Brain Injuries To Children & Adults ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/79 "2005-03-15T22:45:40Z")
The [Envirolet, Composting Toilet](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=187260): The ecological & economical solution for cottage, cabin, home or commercial use. [Uncle Booger’s Bumper Dumper](http://www.bumperdumper.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098/80 "2005-03-15T23:07:56Z")
I have a friend that lives on The Lake of the Ozarks. Every once in a while we’ll boat on over to [Big Dick’s Halfway Inn](http://www.bigdickshalfwayinn.com/) . It’s an awesome place and pretty much _halfway_ in the middle of the lake. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-appropriate-store-names/294098.md?page=5)