# Least Efficient Ways to Leave Your Lover **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 27, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763 "2011-09-27T15:21:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jehan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f6c823/32.png) [@jehan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jehan)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/21 "2011-09-28T21:13:53Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Tell her you are gay, Jay. > Shoot her with a rifle, Eifel. > Tell her she’s a bitch, Rich. > Tell her to go fuck, Chuck. All of these strike me as being quite efficient methods of breaking off a relationship. unlike most of the others on this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/22 "2011-09-28T21:23:52Z")
Drink 'til you’re blotto, Otto. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/23 "2011-09-28T21:31:09Z")
Just dither about, Scout. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/24 "2011-09-28T21:31:17Z")
Sleep with her mom, Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc8723/32.png) [@Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Levolor_the_Blind)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/25 "2011-09-28T21:51:45Z")
Call him collect from Helsinki, Christine\* \*I know it doesn’t rhyme but it was 22 years ago and I’m still bitter. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/26 "2011-09-29T01:21:13Z")
Race the tortoise to the door like Achilles, Willie. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/27 "2011-09-29T01:32:41Z")
Be carried away by continental drift, Cliff. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/28 "2011-09-29T03:18:06Z")
Just wait for her to die, Bill Nye. ---
**Author:** ![Jaguars](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaguars/32/5879_2.png) [@Jaguars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaguars)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/29 "2011-09-29T03:35:28Z")
Buy an ad at the superbowl, Noel. Send it on a PDP-10, Ken. Use a steamroller, Nicola. _[Tumbleweed]_ ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/30 "2011-09-29T03:58:32Z")
Drive the Kennedy out of Chicago between five and seven, Kevin. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/31 "2011-09-29T04:06:33Z")
Just stick around and wait for her to die, Sly. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/32 "2011-09-29T08:55:41Z")
Position yourself closer to her, Casimir.\* \*this could have the opposite effect if done the wrong way. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/33 "2011-09-29T09:49:50Z")
Deploy a solar sail, Gail. One step forward two steps back, Jack. Drive a car made out of jelly, Kelly. Pass the message to goldfish, Hamish. Seek a royal decree, Dee. Take it to the U.N., Den. Wait for Saudi democracy, Vee. Do it on Groundhog Day, Ray. Say it with a kazoo, Pru. Enunciate in klingon, Waylon. Write in infra-red, Ned. Penned in hieroglyphs, Cliff. In the belly of a frog, Rob. Underneath a rotting log, Bob. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/34 "2011-09-29T11:19:54Z")
Show her the Prenup,Millsup Give her the clap, Jack wear her Bra, Omar Eat her sister, mister Blow his brother, Heather ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/35 "2011-09-29T12:02:24Z")
Drive her to Chappaquiddick, Rick. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/36 "2011-09-29T20:25:29Z")
Cut a hole in the wall, Paul. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/37 "2011-09-29T20:32:51Z")
Invent and then use a time machine, Gene. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/38 "2011-09-29T20:42:58Z")
Fake your own death, Seth. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/39 "2011-09-30T09:10:42Z")
Travel to Central Asia, become a radicalized Muslim and join the fight to found a fundamentalist theocracy by joining the Taliban, Stan. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/40 "2011-09-30T09:12:03Z")
poop in the bed, Ted [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763.md?page=3)