# Least Efficient Ways to Leave Your Lover **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 27, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763 "2011-09-27T15:21:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/41 "2011-09-30T09:27:12Z")
> [@Levolor\_the\_Blind](#): > > Call him collect from Helsinki, Christine. Ouch. Even for Finland, that’s cold. Back on topic: Sell all her belongings on CraigsList, Ingqvist. Boil her bunny for stew, Hugh. Start an “Ask the guy who’s think about leaving his lover” thread, Ed. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/42 "2011-09-30T09:39:39Z")
post it on facebook, muk-tuk. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/43 "2011-09-30T13:43:06Z")
Build yourself a spaceship, Chip. Slow, very expensive, and likely to just get yourself killed doing it. Oh, and take the Van Wick, Dick. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/44 "2011-09-30T13:43:35Z")
Say “It’s not you, it’s me,” Lee. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/45 "2011-09-30T15:03:48Z")
Have 5 kids and divorce her in a community property state, mate. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/46 "2011-10-01T05:03:48Z")
Hit on her sister, Mister. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/47 "2011-10-01T05:42:14Z")
Stalk him on the Straight Dope, Hope. Follow his twitter, Matilder. Face his book, Snooks. Log her blog, Dawg. ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/48 "2011-10-01T06:51:29Z")
Use a rope, Dope! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/49 "2011-10-01T08:01:00Z")
Wait til they confirm absolute zero, Nero ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/50 "2011-10-01T09:04:52Z")
Travel to Utah; marry six more women. Because, although you don’t believe in divorce, you though it might a good idea to have some more wives, Clive. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/51 "2011-10-01T11:04:12Z")
Submerge yourself in a river of molasses and dog paddle away from her during the month named after the Roman god Janus, you anus. mmm ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763/52 "2011-10-01T13:55:45Z")
Wait for Ariel Sharon to get better, Heather Use magazines to cut out each letter of your kiss off, Hoff Embed your goodbye in 1000 piece jigsaw, McGraw [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-efficient-ways-to-leave-your-lover/597763.md?page=2)