# Least Likely Causes of Death in Elephants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288 "2004-09-27T12:00:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/21 "2004-09-27T13:34:27Z")
Spontaneous Pachyderm Combustion. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/22 "2004-09-27T13:53:12Z")
Accidentally picked up from a lake by a firefighting helicopter and dropped onto a burning forest. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/23 "2004-09-27T13:55:01Z")
We had “drag racing accident” so how about “Drag Queen racing” accident? Those stiletto heels can be murder. Laughing itself to death over the Monkey Haiku thread (collapsing on CBCD who finally stops writing monkey haikus). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/24 "2004-09-27T13:57:16Z")
Suffocation in Richard Gere? Botched trunk amputation? ---
**Author:** ![Bewildebeest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bewildebeest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bewildebeest)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/25 "2004-09-27T14:20:16Z")
Shot by jealous husband. After all, what was the elephant doing in the refrigerator! ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/26 "2004-09-27T14:27:23Z")
> [@Bewildebeest](#): > > After all, what was the elephant doing in the refrigerator! He was leaving footprints in the peanut butter. Come on, man, any five year old knows that! 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/27 "2004-09-27T14:49:31Z")
1920’s Style Death Ray. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/28 "2004-09-27T15:39:41Z")
As the victim of a robbery gone horribly wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/29 "2004-09-27T16:54:51Z")
Swallowed by a hummingbird. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/30 "2004-09-27T16:58:49Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Eaten by a snake? Didn’t that happen in _The Little Prince_ ? Taking a bullet for the Prime Minister. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/31 "2004-09-27T17:04:29Z")
Allergic reaction to peanuts ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/32 "2004-09-27T17:08:55Z")
The knife thrower missed. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/33 "2004-09-27T17:20:38Z")
Eating pufferfish sushi (fugu) or In a storm at the top of Mt. Everest ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/34 "2004-09-27T17:24:59Z")
Alzheimers. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/35 "2004-09-27T17:26:38Z")
So this elephant is on vacation (which means he’s indistinguishable from a mouse, but that’s a different story), he meets an attractive female elephant, they hit it off, they go back to her hotel room… The next thing he knows, the elephant wakes up in a bathtub full of ice. There’s a phone next to the bathtub, and a note on the wall that says “Call 911”. Of course, both of the elephant’s kidneys have been removed. And he dies, because he can’t [dial 911 on the phone with those hooves of his](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=276349). ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/36 "2004-09-27T17:28:58Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > Shark attack. Land shark! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/37 "2004-09-27T17:32:01Z")
A pecular accident involving 3 Nuns and a collection of steam-powered origami animals. Nastiest paper cuts you _ever_ did see! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/38 "2004-09-27T17:32:40Z")
Lorena Bobbitt and her knife. Heart attack while watching Cubbies-Red Sox World Series\* \*heart attack, yes. It’s the World Series that is least likely! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/39 "2004-09-27T17:36:30Z")
Hanta virus ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/40 "2004-09-27T17:49:04Z")
Beams down wearing a red shirt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=3)