# Least Likely Causes of Death in Elephants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288 "2004-09-27T12:00:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/41 "2004-09-27T18:09:57Z")
Speeding without wearing a helmet. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/42 "2004-09-27T18:12:18Z")
Second gunman ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/43 "2004-09-27T18:15:09Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > So this elephant is on vacation (which means he’s indistinguishable from a mouse, but that’s a different story), he meets an attractive female elephant, they hit it off, they go back to her hotel room… The next thing he knows, the elephant wakes up in a bathtub full of ice. There’s a phone next to the bathtub, and a note on the wall that says “Call 911”. Of course, both of the elephant’s kidneys have been removed. Smashing a JATO-powered junker into the side of a cliff in the Arizona desert… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/44 "2004-09-27T18:18:21Z")
Trampled during a concert. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/45 "2004-09-27T18:33:31Z")
Accidentally gets shot by a parent while trying to commit suicide by defenstration. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/46 "2004-09-27T18:40:37Z")
The bends. SCUD missile attack. . . . Elephantiasis? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/47 "2004-09-27T18:42:44Z")
Drive-by shooting by the East Side Gazelles. Complications following wrinkle-reduction surgery. HIV infection after getting a Hello Kitty tattoo from a disreputable tattoo artist. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/48 "2004-09-27T18:59:02Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Alzheimers. Because of the memory thingy with elephants… didn’t want anyone to be offended. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/49 "2004-09-27T19:00:50Z")
Toxic Shock Syndrome after using your mattress as a tampon. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/50 "2004-09-27T19:12:09Z")
Suffocation after diving into a pile of M&Ms… ---
**Author:** ![smartini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/51 "2004-09-27T19:12:12Z")
Post-anesthesia complications following rhinoplasty :eek: ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/52 "2004-09-27T19:21:12Z")
Extreme and fatal bulimia and anorexia as a result of poor body image brought on by proliferation hyperthin supermodels in Vogue, Mademoiselle and Elle magazines. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/53 "2004-09-27T19:23:43Z")
Extreme and fatal bulimia and anorexia as a result of poor body image brought on by the proliferation of hyperthin supermodels in Vogue, Mademoiselle and Elle magazines. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/54 "2004-09-27T19:34:48Z")
Lead poisoning. The elephant painted its toe nails with unsafe red paint when he hid in the tree. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/55 "2004-09-27T19:36:40Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > Suffocation after diving into a pile of M&Ms… or a swimming pool full of Jello. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/56 "2004-09-27T19:55:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Suffocation after diving into a pile of M&Ms > [@](#): > > or a swimming pool full of Jello. I think both of those qualify as auto-erotic asphyxiation. What? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/57 "2004-09-27T20:44:39Z")
> [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > Terrified to death by the letter Q on the keyboard Actually, it was terrified to death by the computer _mouse_ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/58 "2004-09-27T20:55:31Z")
Double-posting. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/59 "2004-09-27T21:25:03Z")
Am I the only one out here _picturing_ these horrible funny deaths (using a cartoon elephant in my imaginings, not a real one) and laughing myself off my chair? Lightning (while he’s up in that tree) Hit on the head by a wayward coconut Drowning when the rope breaks while waterskiing ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/60 "2004-09-27T21:28:26Z")
Bleeding to death from millions of tiny cuts after making an awful mess at the china shop. Massive trauma caused by the collapse of it´s house after seeing Riverdance on TV. Harpooned by an Icelandic whaler while on holidays in Blackpool. Whacked in the head by a coconut falling from 6000 meters. (and you know WHO were carrying it in the first place) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=4)