# Least Likely Causes of Death in Elephants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288 "2004-09-27T12:00:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/61 "2004-09-27T21:29:53Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > Toxic Shock Syndrome after using your mattress as a tampon. Sentenced to death by overzealous mattress tag enforcer when ripping off tag while trying to pull it out. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/62 "2004-09-27T21:37:18Z")
[Eaten by a Boa constrictor](http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/images/hat.jpg) Reference to Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/63 "2004-09-27T21:38:31Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > He was leaving footprints in the peanut butter. Come on, man, any five year old knows that! 😉😃 Good grief! I was about to say that. Did you just come from the corny jokes thread or did you remember that from the 60’s? (I did both.) * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/64 "2004-09-27T21:43:43Z")
Guess I’ll have to stick to my first thought. The famous Elephant Philosopher was pondering things when an eagle spotted his bald head. Mistaking the bald head for a turtle shell it dropped a large rock on it. 😕 Or do eagles drop _turtle_s on large smooth _rocks_? * * * True Blue Jack * * * I dreamt that a mountain was climbing _me_ ! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/65 "2004-09-27T21:52:17Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > Toxic Shock Syndrome after using your mattress as a tampon. But only possible if you remove the tag fromthe mattress. And then the Mattress Cops come for you… ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/66 "2004-09-27T22:14:33Z")
Hang gliding ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/67 "2004-09-27T22:46:32Z")
Being mistakenly shot to death during duck season. Being mistakenly speared to death during barracuda season. Being mistakenly punted to death during football season. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/68 "2004-09-27T22:53:41Z")
Hanging ten in the tube, and drowned in the undertow Lighting his own farts Speedboat accident Ecstasy overdose Ninja attack Pistol whipping High energy particle beam weapon Daisy Cutter bomb Toaster in the bathtub ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/69 "2004-09-27T23:06:58Z")
Being run over by the Mars rover. StG ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/70 "2004-09-27T23:09:45Z")
Running with scissors ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/71 "2004-09-27T23:19:55Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Running with scissors Right back at ya. Went swimming 59 1/2 minutes after eating. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/72 "2004-09-27T23:45:51Z")
Shoots his eye out with his Red Ryder BB gun, which leads to a fatal brain infection. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/73 "2004-09-27T23:52:25Z")
The #1 least likely cause of death for an Elephant: Being stepped on, and squished. Other candidates… Technical brain death during full-cyborging procedure. Meteor strike. Jabberwocky-inflicted injuries. Infected Oompa-Loompa bites. Deliberately rammed by the _Rainbow Warrior_, off the coast of Madagascar. Crushed by Pakistani humanitarian airdrop. Drowning in own excriment. Transforming into being of pure energy, ascending to higher plane of existance. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/74 "2004-09-28T00:02:47Z")
Woodpecker attack. Shot in Capt. Spalding’s pajamas. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/75 "2004-09-28T00:29:14Z")
Getting bit by a rabid dolphin. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/76 "2004-09-28T00:36:15Z")
Attack by Canadian choo-choo train: Jumbo, RIP 15 September 1885: [http://www.celebritymorgue.com/jumbo/](http://www.celebritymorgue.com/jumbo/) ---
**Author:** ![Bewildebeest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bewildebeest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bewildebeest)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/77 "2004-09-28T01:14:31Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > He was leaving footprints in the peanut butter. Come on, man, any five year old knows that! 😉😃 That’s just what we told the children. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/78 "2004-09-28T01:22:02Z")
Drowning in a 5-gallon bucket. Overdose of caffiene. Skin cancer from overusing the tanning booth. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/79 "2004-09-28T01:39:00Z")
Skateboarding off the roof and into the pool (and missing). ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/80 "2004-09-28T02:09:58Z")
Getting trapped in a roach motel. Cutting the blue wire instead of the red one. Mob hit. Mixing ammonia and bleach together while cleaning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=5)