# Least Likely Causes of Death in Elephants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288 "2004-09-27T12:00:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/101 "2004-09-28T17:21:30Z")
Was part of the ill fated Sahara Mountain Rescue Team ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/102 "2004-09-28T17:35:12Z")
Shot by Johnny Cash in Reno. Wasn’t paying attention when Indy told him to keep his eyes closed. Having a fatwa declared on him after writing a satrical book about Mohammed. Let Greedo get the first shot. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/103 "2004-09-28T17:43:25Z")
Ate too much [lunch](http://www.holylemon.com/funny-video-clips/anelephantslunch.html) from another elephant’s butt. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/104 "2004-09-28T17:48:51Z")
Ice skating on a mountain lake. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/105 "2004-09-28T18:09:13Z")
Burned to death in the Great Sahara forest fire ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/106 "2004-09-28T18:15:27Z")
Tried to fast-draw on Paladin. Pahdnur. 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/107 "2004-09-28T18:28:06Z")
Used apostrophe’s wrong. Had a run-in with the dentist from _Little Shop of Horrors_. Got caught in one of those plastic rings that hold a six-pack together. Annoyed a Wal-Mart greeter. Had headphones cranked way too loud. Was overcome by a debate about cod on the Parliamentary Affairs Channel. Suffered from an excess of cool. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/108 "2004-09-28T19:10:17Z")
Embolism while climbing Mount Everest. Exploded while lighting a fart. Eaten by alligators in the New York sewers. Terrified by the interior decorating job (as bought) in **FairyChatMom’s** new house. Beheaded by Islamic terrorists. Acting as a Palestinian suicide bomber. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/109 "2004-09-28T19:19:48Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Ate too much [lunch](http://www.holylemon.com/funny-video-clips/anelephantslunch.html) from another elephant’s butt. I scrubbed and scrubbed and _still_ can’t get the image out of my brain. Must. not. click. link. again. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/110 "2004-09-28T20:26:24Z")
Unable to defend “Three Stooges” style “Two Finger” eye poke. Got caught by Mom. Went swimming too soon after eating. Tried to add a sixth hand grenade to his juggling routine. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/111 "2004-09-28T20:39:57Z")
Throwing up overdose of sleeping pills, gets head caught in toilet and drowns. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/112 "2004-09-28T21:16:33Z")
Shot while visiting Reno. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/113 "2004-09-28T21:16:48Z")
Victim of Hannibal Letcher _BURP_ ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/114 "2004-09-28T22:14:42Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > Mysterious fall down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets, perhaps? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/115 "2004-09-28T22:44:51Z")
> [@Ale](#): > > Onto some bullets, perhaps? 😃 For Ale’s benefit: Runway incursion accident at a model airplane tournament. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/116 "2004-09-28T23:30:25Z")
Lost at sea on a three hour tour. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/117 "2004-09-29T00:19:53Z")
Infection from multiple trunk piercings. Wood chipper accident in North Dakota. Attempting Fear Factor stunts at home. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/118 "2004-09-29T00:22:13Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > For Ale’s benefit: > > Runway incursion accident at a model airplane tournament. Good heavens! I almost got nailed myself that way once! A quarter scale aerobatic plane lost control doing a torque roll and flipped over me, it missed my head by less than half a meter and crashed a couple meters behind me. Mind you, i wasn´t scared one bit, honest! Oh yes, more pachidermal mayhem: Being strangled with it´s own trunk. Falling to death while playing Tinkerbell on a Peter Pan play when the cables used to make it fly snapped. Stunt double mishap. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/119 "2004-09-29T00:31:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Throwing up overdose of sleeping pills, gets head caught in toilet and drowns. Jumping off the Hollywood sign. Getting violated by a coke bottle. Being lobotomized by its mother. Inviting Cathy Smith back to its hotel room. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/120 "2004-09-29T01:33:46Z")
Got on wrong bus: the bus to _hell_… Squished by very large falling ant. Run over by Messerschmitt [Kabinenroller](http://www.iwz.de/reportagen/repo2003/1303kabinenroller/kabinenroller4.html). In a bizarre accident involving a time machine, a liquid lunch, and thirty-seven rubber bands. With Old Yeller by his side. Taken down by the SWAT Team after knocking down the Old Mahouts’ Home. Facing a slightly-confused gladiator in The Arena. On a treadmill. At the club. Alone. In an excess of emotion after beling jilted by Britney Spears. Over and over and over and over and over… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=7)