# Least Likely Causes of Death in Elephants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288 "2004-09-27T12:00:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/121 "2004-09-29T01:52:59Z")
Victim of road rage Falling off a ladder while cleaning out the gutters Attacked by a whale ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/122 "2004-09-29T04:31:06Z")
Suicide pact with a rhinoceros because society didn’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![smartini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/123 "2004-09-29T04:53:53Z")
Auditioning for _Cirque de Soliel_ ---
**Author:** ![EvilGhandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@EvilGhandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilGhandi)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/124 "2004-09-29T06:40:36Z")
Ignoring the “cape does not enable user to fly” tag. Riding an atomic bomb into moscow. Not pointing cap away from face when opening. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/125 "2004-09-29T06:57:00Z")
Took _Dumbo_ story as fact. Trunk lost by airlines. Lost at Russian roulette. Mistaken for SUV and shot during road rage incident. Overdosed on LSD. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/126 "2004-09-29T07:20:22Z")
> [@Cicada2003](#): > > Overdosed on LSD. Ah, [Tusko, we knew you well.](http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/lsd/lsd_history4.shtml) Killed by Sioux hunting party. Tumbling over Reichenbach Falls in a death struggle. Shot/Pistol whipped to death by an enraged Batman, in a revenge killing. Spontaniously going into Helium fusion. Crushed by falling debris while looting the wreck of the _Titanic_. Fatal 2-4-5 Trioxin gas exposure. Hit by space junk from _Voyager VI_ launch reentering atmosphere. Executed for crimes against humanity at Nurenburg. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/127 "2004-09-29T07:23:51Z")
[Black Mamba](http://cache.filmz.dk/3421_415x274.jpg) bite. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/128 "2004-09-29T08:09:49Z")
My new contributions: [C. Montgomery Burns] _Got in my way._ [/C. Montgomery Burns] Messy break-up with Norma Desmond Wow! This is by far the most successful Thread I ever started! I got [99 responses](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=215092) once last year and was so bummed that it didn’t break 100, but this one far makes up for it! I hope everyone is reading all the responses instead of just checking in at the end with their own response. This has been such a funny Thread, I just got to say thanks! Here are some of my favorites so far: > [@Jenaroph](#): > > Strangled by the cord for the ventian blinds > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Suffocation in Richard Gere > [@Little Nemo](#): > > Being mistakenly punted to death during football season. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Running with scissors > [@Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor](#): > > Went swimming 59 1/2 minutes after eating. > [@Peter Morris](#): > > Shot in Capt. Spalding’s pajamas > [@Greywolf73](#): > > Cutting the blue wire instead of the red one. > [@Little Nemo](#): > > Shot by Johnny Cash in Reno. > [@Cicada2003](#): > > Trunk lost by airlines. **Chefguy** had a very funny post . . . > [@Chefguy](#): > > Alzheimers . . . but he kinda ruined it when he came back to explain it. Sorry, **Chefguy** , could’ve been my favorite but you robbed it of its effectiveness by over-explaining it. And of course I hate to see a trilogy go incomplete . . . > [@scr4](#): > > Accidentally picked up from a lake by a firefighting helicopter and dropped onto a burning forest. > [@Sean Factotum](#): > > Accidentally gets shot by a parent while trying to commit suicide by defenstration. ( **Sean Factotum** , he jumped from the roof- not the window) . . . so I’ll add: Killed while being robbed by Joseph Green, Stanley Berry, and Daniel Hill. ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/129 "2004-09-29T12:43:10Z")
Doing backflips without assistance ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/130 "2004-09-29T13:42:20Z")
Least liked member of the Donner party. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/131 "2004-09-29T14:12:12Z")
> [@Tiramisu](#): > > Least liked member of the Donner party. . . . or, _most_-liked. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/132 "2004-09-29T14:21:45Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > . . . or, _most_-liked. I figure that was after the fact. _Donner party members sitting around the campfire patting their bellies and belching, someone says_ “You know, old Jumbo wasn’t so bad after all” _everyone nods in agreement and goes back for another helping._ ---
**Author:** ![BadBadger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BadBadger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBadger)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/133 "2004-09-29T14:35:16Z")
Starved to death after entering a staring competition with a teddy bear. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/134 "2004-09-29T14:38:47Z")
> [@Tiramisu](#): > > I figure that was after the fact. > > _Donner party members sitting around the campfire patting their bellies and belching, someone says_ “You know, old Jumbo wasn’t so bad after all” _everyone nods in agreement and goes back for another helping._ Interesting to think how history might have been different if the fates of Hannibal (the original) and the Donner party had been reversed … ---
**Author:** ![Bean\_Counter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/db5fbb/32.png) [@Bean\_Counter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bean_Counter)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/135 "2004-09-29T18:03:56Z")
Burned to death while talking on his cell phone and filling the gas tank on his Mini Cooper. Flashed his headlights at the wrong car. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/136 "2004-09-29T18:25:11Z")
-Caisson’s disease -Shot while cheating at three-card-monte -OD’d on heroin whilst traveling as a ‘mule’. -Parachute failed while BASE-jumping. -Succumbed to the curce of the “Hope Diamond” -In a duel with Aaron Burr. -Fell through a glass-top coffee table onto Raymond Burr. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/137 "2004-09-29T18:30:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Shot in Capt. Spalding’s pajamas. This is brilliant. Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/138 "2004-09-29T18:31:00Z")
Impaled on the bow of a Royal Caribbean cruise ship. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/139 "2004-09-29T18:31:57Z")
Went to Tuscaloosa, Alabama for dental work. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288/140 "2004-09-29T18:32:19Z")
Injected with Windex by the Elevator Killer [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/least-likely-causes-of-death-in-elephants/266288.md?page=8)