# Leave anonymous messages for the people who visit this site immediately after you! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814 "2002-04-26T17:11:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/21 "2002-04-26T19:34:00Z")
I got “did anyone email this person?” and then there was an email address that I’ll just leave out. I was hoping for more of a secret of life sort of thing. Maybe I’ll have to go back later. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/22 "2002-04-26T19:34:08Z")
when I left my URL, I got one for online medications. are they trying to tell me something? ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/23 "2002-04-26T19:34:27Z")
“Scientist have proven that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population!” ---
**Author:** ![shannybonanny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@shannybonanny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shannybonanny)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/24 "2002-04-26T19:36:38Z")
It took me a minute to place this one… > [@](#): > > it’s something upredictable, but in the end it’s right…i hope you had the time of your life" Right on. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/25 "2002-04-26T19:38:10Z")
I am apparently destined to get lengthy, meandering messages. "I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead. Kinda’ like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I don’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn’t want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn’t all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn’t improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So, I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys. " ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/26 "2002-04-26T19:39:39Z")
I did this a few times, posting all sorts of random crapola, song lyrics, and byproducts of my heat-infested brain. Not for a second did I expect an answer quite like this one. > [@](#): > > I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead. Kinda’ like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I don’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn’t want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn’t all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn’t improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So, I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys. Who is taking credit for this work of stark raving genius? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/27 "2002-04-26T19:41:06Z")
Ok, something is fucked. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/28 "2002-04-26T19:41:18Z")
Wow, bonus points for the coveted “dead monkey manifesto simulpost”! ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/29 "2002-04-26T19:42:12Z")
My day just got that much creepier. ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/30 "2002-04-26T19:48:02Z")
“A wishbone never takes the place of a backbone. Death to monkeys.” Which is a little spooky, given that the post I had just finished writing was about how my company is going down the toilet and I am totally unmotivated to do anything and I lack the backbone to just quit. This is some sort of collective-unconscious-synchronicity-magic-8-ball thing. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/31 "2002-04-26T19:48:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maeglin \* > \*\*Who is taking credit for this work of stark raving genius? \*\* Didn’t Wally write that? ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/32 "2002-04-26T19:51:14Z")
Well I tried again. I got: “Question Authority.” How… inspiring. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CWN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@CWN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CWN)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/33 "2002-04-26T19:52:15Z")
Oh geez look what I got [boards.straightdope.com/sdmb](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb) You know you want to. I love this place ---
**Author:** ![Arwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7c8e57/32.png) [@Arwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwen)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/34 "2002-04-26T19:53:22Z")
[boards.straightdope.com/sdmb](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb) You know you want to. All right, who’s the culprit? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/35 "2002-04-26T19:54:28Z")
Haha! I got a really true-to-life thought. > [@](#): > > My job is boring and I would like to go home and drink some beers. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/36 "2002-04-26T19:56:12Z")
Great… Someone left this for me: > [@](#): > > Thank you for posting! You will now be taken to your post. If the administrator has selected to moderate all posts in this forum, you will be taken back to the forum and your post will be displayed presently. If you opted to post a poll, you will now be allowed to do so. It seems _familiar_ somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/37 "2002-04-26T19:57:37Z")
I got it too. "[boards.straightdope.com/sdmb](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb) You know you want to. " Hmmm… wonder who it was. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/38 "2002-04-26T19:59:22Z")
That would be me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/39 "2002-04-26T20:00:27Z")
> [@](#): > > clinophobia is a fear of beds Is that even true? ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814/40 "2002-04-26T20:02:42Z")
Looky looky! 😃 > [@](#): > > •Garf226• “i need storm chasers anonymous” ·Akatsukam· “I touch myself” in this context does not mean, “I slap my forehand, wondering why I ever got involved with you?” 🙂 •Garf226• Heh… ·MaxOvride· I hear ya Mr.C. But I need it to import a database from Telemagic. I have my sons PC chugging away at it now. (He has a P180…Argh!) ·IWrite· LOL! ·IWrite· That’s hilarious Akatsukam… ·MamaHen· Akat, when I think about you I refuse to touch myself without using bleach first 🙂 •Garf226• Hee! I just put in the local Domino’s number… and got “Matty would like to give you head” ·Akatsukam· Be careful of those sensitive mucous membranes, Mama 😛 ·MamaHen· Oh I will Akat I will! (…quit…) IWrite [02:56pm] ·Gingy· MrC, what’s the Miss’ job? ·MrCynical· I started posting my junk mail •Garf226• Heh. ·MrCynical· Purchasing for a company that makes furnaces ·Gingy· Good pay and benefits and such? ·Gingy· Good for her. •Garf226• Post annoying people’s sn’s so people can IM them. ·DynoSaur· heh. i’m quoting bits of the Illuminatus trilogy to this thing. •Garf226• Or emails. ·MaxOvride· Heya Gingy…I may be coming out your way in May. 🙂 ·Gingy· I’m leaving May 1, Kwy. ·MaxOvride· Damn…I got bad timing… ☹ ·MamaHen· you do ·Gingy· Yes you do. •Garf226• I got a click-thru for a online medication place… ·Gingy· I have only three people on my icq list here. ·MrCynical· I think I will post a log from chat •Garf226• Heh… ·Gingy· People should request auth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-anonymous-messages-for-the-people-who-visit-this-site-immediately-after-you/105814.md?page=3)