# "Leave him to me, boys! That bastard killed my pappy!" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146 "2015-10-19T15:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/21 "2015-10-19T19:07:41Z")
I try to go at it mano y mano, but Ruiz (the plucky young private with everything to prove) leaps to defend me at an inopportune moment and I’m forced to split my attention to save her. The Commandant throws her off of a railing (we’re fighting on a catwalk, right? Right, of course we are) and I catch her, dangling precariously on the edge. The Commandant walks up behind me, ready to kick us both off into oblivion. Ruiz pulls out a knife, smiles sadly, and tosses it up at me as she twists out of my grasp, falling into oblivion. I catch it and turn to the surprised Python Commandant. “Time to balance the scales of justice,” I say. “You’re hiss-tory.” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/22 "2015-10-19T19:09:08Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > So it’s 13 on 1? I see absolutely no reason to give up the advantage. The Commandant is a Captain America type super-soldier. A ruthless Cap versus 12 norms plus one other super-soldier is more like 3 to 1. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/23 "2015-10-19T19:40:53Z")
I have no problem doing this one on one if I’d be putting the other folks at an unnecessary risk, but if they can help me without an overly high chance of death or injury, then I’d just as soon keep them in the fight. The whole mano-a-mano fight at the end of movies bugs the heck out of me. Just once, I want Indiana Jone’s sword-vs-gun scene to be the climax of a movie. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/24 "2015-10-19T19:56:13Z")
I don’t care if he dies when he chokes as I stuff one of my guys down his throat. We gang up on him. Hey, what can I say? I’m goal oriented. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/25 "2015-10-19T20:10:12Z")
I could tell from the OP that Skald was remembering the movies _“Romancing the Stone”_ I voted to have the norms helps me. like most voters so far. I’d give up the personal pleasure of killing Python myself if ANYTHING would make sure he goes down. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/26 "2015-10-19T20:17:57Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I could tell from the OP that Skald was remembering the movies _“Romancing the Stone”_ > > I voted to have the norms helps me. like most voters so far. I’d give up the personal pleasure of killing Python myself if ANYTHING would make sure he goes down. Silly hobbit! I was remembering JEWEL OF THE NILE, which was the SEQUEL to RtS. And of course, GI JOE. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/27 "2015-10-19T20:22:12Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Sure, I’ll take him on alone. The norms don’t stand a chance and they’ll just get in the way. And I want to slowly break and twist his body in the most painful ways possible. My father was old, my brother was pretty useless anyway, that ranch was a lot of work, and I was just using that Bible to prop open a window, but that bastard shot my dog and I’m gonna make him suffer for that. There is no way I can improve on this response. It is spot on. Thanks, **TriPolar**! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/28 "2015-10-19T20:27:16Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Your insolence forces me to unleash the Rear-Window-ers Grace-Kelly model slapbots. Good, we’ll deploy them against the Commandant. Vengeance will be served by humiliating him, on top of defeating him. Also, it will get millions of hits on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/29 "2015-10-19T21:07:00Z")
I think the sensible thing to do would be to pluck a swooping vampire from the air, press its fangs into one of my veins and face my nemesis. The commandant can’t take on a vampire-supersoldier, no one can. After dispatching him with ninja death-stars, I’d initiate the self-destruct sequence on the island fortress and clinging his (now unhypnotised) slave-bride Seductra to me, I’d zip-line out of there on the webbing from one of his mechanical spiders. I would NOT look back at the explosion. I just don’t see any other realistic course of action. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/30 "2015-10-19T21:41:57Z")
For oatmeal cookies try these: [deconstructed cranachan](http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r139/quartz-quill/SDMB/Cranachan%20biscuits_zpsncuubul7.jpg) (JPG). ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/31 "2015-10-19T22:25:55Z")
Can’t I nuke him from orbit? ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/32 "2015-10-19T23:30:18Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Can’t I nuke him from orbit? It’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/33 "2015-10-19T23:43:33Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Can’t I nuke him from orbit? Yes. But since you’re in the same goddamn room, that would be stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/34 "2015-10-20T07:14:37Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > This one is mine! . . . as he closed in on the guy who murdered Uncle Ben. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/35 "2015-10-20T09:47:16Z")
From Firefly Zoë [as Mal is taking a beating from an old rival]: This is something the Captain has to do for himself. Mal: No! No, it’s not! ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/36 "2015-10-20T11:03:11Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > From Firefly > > Zoë [as Mal is taking a beating from an old rival]: This is something the Captain has to do for himself. > Mal: No! No, it’s not! This is something Larry Borgia has to quote for himself! msmith: No! No, it’s not! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/37 "2015-10-20T15:45:35Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > So it’s 13 on 1? I see absolutely no reason to give up the advantage. “I don’t know how many of them it would have taken to whip my ass… But, I knew how many they were going to use.” ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146/38 "2015-10-20T15:55:27Z")
Read the account of Scylla’s death in _The Marathon Man_. If two evenly matched opponents are duking it out, then there’s no question that a few extra “normal” bad asses can unbalance the equation. Don’t care how much super-soldier serum you’ve imbibed, if you’re in a headlock and some guys start whacking you with gun butts or poking you with big-Ass Rambo survival knives, then the fight is over. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-him-to-me-boys-that-bastard-killed-my-pappy/735146.md?page=1)