# Leave me alone, Rachel Ray **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 13, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024 "2007-02-13T15:44:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/21 "2007-02-13T18:08:13Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Easiest thing in the world. Memorize the following, and use as appropriate: “Of course you’re right, dear, nice girls don’t do that sort of thing. And besides, if your Mom ever found out that you had, she would be totally shocked and horrified…” [/QUOTE] Perhaps there’s some truth to this: [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/471999p-397161c.html](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/471999p-397161c.html) :eek: VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/22 "2007-02-13T18:21:31Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] Yes, I’m talking to _you_, Rachel Ray. [/QUOTE] Pronounced “RaichaRaaaay” and completely enunciated in less than half a second. I’m sure she has nice qualities, but to me she looks like a girl that somebody slapped on the back in the middle of a ‘Big-Mouthed Frog’ joke and her face froze that way. Maybe if someone taught her to speak French instead… …the Sûreté would have her killed. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/23 "2007-02-13T18:22:50Z")
[QUOTE=Veuve\_ClicquotNJ] Perhaps there’s some truth to this: [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/471999p-397161c.html](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/471999p-397161c.html) :eek: VCNJ~ [/QUOTE] Maybe that’s why he married her, because she’ll do all those kinky things for free. And then cook him breakfast. In my book that’s a keeper. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/24 "2007-02-13T18:37:45Z")
I’d do her. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/25 "2007-02-13T18:42:45Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] She used to be perky and cute, and I wanted her in my life. Now she’s annoying and ubiquitous, and I want her out of my life. She ain’t even that good a cook. [/QUOTE] Alas, how this sums up so many a once-promising relationship. . . ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/26 "2007-02-13T20:57:55Z")
I’ll have Rachel Ray, Rachel Ray, Rachel Ray, Rachel Ray, baked beans, Rachel Ray, sausage and spam. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/27 "2007-02-13T21:40:53Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] She’s so perky out of the sack that I’m betting she’s a corpse who doesn’t “do those kinds of things” in bed. I have no idea why things work that way, but they usually seem to. [/QUOTE] Oh yeah, she [looks just like the kind of girl](http://www.torontopics.com/digital/ray.html) who wouldn’t “do those kinds of things in bed.” Mmmhmm. Only, not. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/28 "2007-02-13T21:43:36Z")
[QUOTE=Shayna] Oh yeah, she [looks just like the kind of girl](http://www.torontopics.com/digital/ray.html) who wouldn’t “do those kinds of things in bed.” Mmmhmm. Only, not. [/QUOTE] Well yeah, there’s that. Let me rephrase: She looks just like the kind of girl who wouldn’t “do those kinds of things” in bed _with me_. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2007, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/29 "2007-02-13T22:34:54Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Well yeah, there’s that. Let me rephrase: She looks just like the kind of girl who wouldn’t “do those kinds of things” in bed _with me_. [/QUOTE] No, that’s Tomorrow, on Raicha-Ray… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/30 "2007-02-14T00:39:03Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] …after I confessed my long-running, thusfar platonic infatuation with Nigella Lawson. [/QUOTE] Now that I can understand. Except the platonic part. She reminds me of Jane on **Coupling** only smarter and hotter. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/31 "2007-02-14T04:38:05Z")
[QUOTE=photopat] Now that I can understand. Except the platonic part. [/QUOTE] It’s only platonic because so far Nigella won’t return my calls. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/32 "2007-02-14T05:19:55Z")
I don’t know what it is about her. Maybe the voice that makes Quint’s nails on the chalkboard sound like a sweet symphony. Maybe it’s her inane attempts to turn ordinary words into cutesy monstrosities. Maybe it’s her constant mispronounciation of St. Louis as “St. Louie” as if it were the most clever thing of the last few millennia. Maybe it’s her pornstar reactions to local cuisine. Maybe it’s her Jokeresque smile. Most of all, I think it’s her smug security in her own cuteness. Like we just can’t resist her saccharine charms. You know what, you soulless harpy? We can. At least I can. And I want you to go away. Far away. I hate you, Rachael Ray. I hate you like I have never hated any pop culture figure before. I defaced your image on my box of Sociables, so great is my loathing. Now take your cookbooks, dip them in EVOO, and shove them straight up your ass. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/33 "2007-02-14T11:41:19Z")
[QUOTE=Shayna] Oh yeah, she [looks just like the kind of girl](http://www.torontopics.com/digital/ray.html) who wouldn’t “do those kinds of things in bed.” Mmmhmm. Only, not. [/QUOTE] Eh, to me, even in those pictures she looks like the kind of girl who doesn’t do those things. She’ll throw on the outfit and \*pretend \* she’s going to do those things, but she’s not. And she can’t even \*believe \* you actually thought she _would_, you pig! ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/34 "2007-02-14T12:14:48Z")
I refuse to know what “perky” means, until I hear it applied to a man. I just want her to leave me alone. I didn’t have a problem with Martha Steward, because she didn’t follow me everywhere. And even my mother has better recipes than Rachel Ray (sorry Mom, no offense intended.) It’s just that some person can come out of the blue and suddenly be a cooking Goddess. I’d bet you dollars for donuts that I could cook better than she. Besides, she’s always looking over my back at the Ralph’s. It’s creepy. I fell asleep on the Metro once dreaming that she was across the isle trying to get recipes into my head via ESP. Thank you, Ms. Ray, but I already know how to cook. In fact, I think this deserves a **new thread** : what could you easily do that some fool is getting tons of money to do? I’m thinking about the security guard at a suburban library who does nothing other than walking around and tell kids not to drink CocaCola or use cellphones–he’s city-paid, and therefore unionized, but any idiot can do that job. He’s probably got a nice house in a nice suburb neighborhood, and a nice pension plan in the waiting. And what does he do all day? He walks around and makes sure that people aren’t doing what they already aren’t doing. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/35 "2007-02-14T17:32:11Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] It’s only platonic because so far Nigella won’t return my calls. [/QUOTE] Oh, well, next time I’ll have her call you. After she, you know, washes up. 😃 Hey, a guy can dream. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/36 "2007-02-14T17:55:12Z")
I _used_ to like Rachel Ray, back in her first season when she was more natural on camera (despite the umpteen million times she had to explain what “EVOO” was). As she became more ubiquitous on Foodtv, though, she changed. If you watch one of her older 30-Min Meals shows back-to-back with a recent one, the diffence is startling. Now she behaves like a howler monkey on crack. Her wide-eyed death-grin rictus is unnerving to watch, and her mile-a-minute barrage of catchphrases is incomprehensible and no doubt fueled by strong drugs. Yumm-O! Stoup and sammies! EVOO! Pizzagna! _insane cackle_ Anybody who can stand that for more than a minute and _not_ want to smack her is unnatural. Too bad, really; she’s kinda cute. Until she opens that mouth. I suspect that much of what went wrong could be fixed by a long stay in detox, and allowing her to have no more than _one_ show per day, and that has to be a _cooking_ show. Also: Nigella, rrrowr! (Giada, too) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/37 "2007-02-14T18:21:22Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] Now she behaves like a howler monkey on crack. Her wide-eyed death-grin rictus is unnerving to watch, and her mile-a-minute barrage of catchphrases is incomprehensible and no doubt fueled by strong drugs. Yumm-O! Stoup and sammies! EVOO! Pizzagna! _insane cackle_ [/QUOTE] I’d like to think that she does this OTTT (over the top twee) because her producers told her it sells, rather than of her own volition. I’d probably be wrong. I did record her $40 a Day when she was on Martha’s Vineyard. It made me pine for my favorite place in the world. She even had dinner at one of my favorite spots, The Seafood Shanty. But she only had $15 left to spend. I was really curious as to how she was going to pull that off with anything other than Bob’s Pizza. She ended up getting an appetizer for $13.95. She drank water. And she left the waitress a $1.05 tip. I really hope that the crew comped the waitress a bit more after the cameras stopped. This was the restaurant, BTW, where I was offered a 10 pound lobster for $150. I turned it down. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/38 "2007-02-14T19:00:12Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] no doubt fueled by strong drugs [/QUOTE] It could be an overpowering nicotine buzz, produced by maintaining the two-pack-a-day habit through frantic suckdowns of tobacco sticks in ever-shrinking windows of unseen availability, instead of spreading them out on a more leisurely basis when nobody was paying attention. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/39 "2007-02-14T19:31:05Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] It’s just that some person can come out of the blue and suddenly be a cooking Goddess. . . . [/quote] Not that I’m much invested in defending RR but here’s the thing – she’s _not_ a cooking goddess. From interviews, she’d probably be the first to tell you she’s not. She doesn’t refer to herself as a “chef” because she’s not a chef; she says she’s a cook. And she admits she’s not even a great cook in all areas; she often talks about how she can’t bake at all. She’s found a niche and a schtick and, sure, she’s milking it for all it’s worth, but she’s pretty down to earth and frank about that. She doesn’t pretend to be something she’s not, which is one of the reasons people like her. I would find her miles more obnoxious if she was a diva, but apparently she isn’t. And the things people say they hate about her – some I can get behind, yeah, “sammies” and “EVOO” are too cutesy – but some . . . her voice? Her smile? Expressing hatred of her personal appearance seems really irrational to me. But then, I can’t stand Giada De L. because I think she looks like a bobble-head doll, so there’s some irrationality for you right there. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024/40 "2007-02-14T20:01:24Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] And stay off of my cracker boxes. [/QUOTE] I guess her [cracker recipe](http://ken-jennings.com/blog/?p=254) failed to entertain you? (I’ll chime in as one of those who finds Rachael Ray attractive- though I’d find her even more attractive if she wore Chuck Taylors like that cutie Sara Moulton.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leave-me-alone-rachel-ray/392024.md?page=3)