# Lecturing Others on Issues in Social Settings **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 23, 2023, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222 "2023-02-23T04:29:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/121 "2023-03-02T20:38:13Z")
You’ll have to ask your buddy, the man made of straw. I was talking about a balance of priorities, you are the only one giving it such a binary position. I don’t know why you choose to project it onto me, but please don’t anymore, thankyouverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/122 "2023-03-02T20:48:15Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I hear folk say Home Depot is pretty crappy, but it is SO much more convenient to me that Menard’s or Lowes, that they still get my business. And Lowe’s and Menards have their own issues as well. I used to go to a local hardware store for most of my home improvement needs, but they didn’t have nearly the plumbing and fitting selection, and they also went out of business about a decade ago. So, I’ll hold my nose and know that some portion of my money is going to support something that I am against, but that the alternative is to just live with a leaking pipe in my basement. And to be honest, my boycott of Chick fil a is not absolute. I have eaten there twice in the last 20 odd years. Once I was on a road trip, and I got off at an exit, and it was pretty much the only option outside of gas station food. I didn’t feel like getting back on the interstate in search of the next exit, so I went ahead and bought my food there. The other time was shortly after things started opening back up after the COVID lockdowns. I had a choice of fast food restaurants, but it was the only one whose line was actually moving. So, I did put my personal convenience ahead of the mostly symbolic support against them. Like I said, it’s a balance of priorities. Anyone who sees it as black and white is simplifying things too far, and anyone who considers a balance of priorities to be binary is ignoring things. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/123 "2023-03-02T21:00:47Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > You’ll have to ask your buddy, the man made of straw. This you? > [@k9bfriender](#): > > But I can get a chicken sandwich anywhere. If I continue to support Chick fil a, knowing what I know, then that says what my priorities are. > [@k9bfriender](#): > > I mean, I understand, a chicken sandwich fills you up, what do gay rights do for you? > [@k9bfriender](#): > > Like I said, most people not personally affected by these things would really rather that marginalized minorities and their advocates shut up and not make them think about it, they’d rather spend the time playing board games. > [@k9bfriender](#): > > It seems the only way for a marginalized group or their allies to win is to simply shut up and not inconvenience the privileged in any way. If they can behave and stay quiet, then _maybe_ they will be allowed to exist. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/124 "2023-03-02T21:04:21Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Like I said, it’s a balance of priorities. I’ve never eaten ChikFilA. Two summers ago we attended a community festival in a town near us. The only food available was ChikFilA. I was pretty disappointed and disgusted. There was a table where the festival organizers were seeking input on how they were doing, as well as accepting donations. We were on our way out, and I stopped and explained (politely) why we were leaving prematurely. A few people around us added their two cents in agreement. The guy we were talking to had no idea, and I believed him. Last summer we checked out the festival. They had a pizza place, a burger place, and a vegan restaurant each offering food. We had a great time. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/125 "2023-03-02T21:08:01Z")
Yes, and no where in there did I say what you want me to have said in order for your accusations of false dichotomy to hold up. Please stop with this, I don’t know what reason you have to be trying to force _your_ words into my mouth, but it is _not_ appreciated, thankyouagainverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/126 "2023-03-02T21:11:00Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Yes, and no where in there did I say what you want me to have said in order for your accusations of false dichotomy to hold up. Well, I’m just super confused now, because the quoted sentences appear to be exactly the sentiment I’m criticizing. If you’re trying to communicate something different, I genuinely have no idea what. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/127 "2023-03-03T00:00:54Z")
I read your comments the same as Miller. You seemed to be saying that anyone who bought Chick-fil-A in any circumstance was showing deep disdain or lack of respect for all LBGQT+ individuals. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/128 "2023-03-03T00:47:14Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Please stop with this, I don’t know what reason you have to be trying to force _your_ words into my mouth, but it is _not_ appreciated, thankyouagainverymuch. Chalk me up as another person confused as to what exactly you were trying to communicate. When I was younger, even before my Straight Dope days, I tried to keep track of the companies I purchased from in order to ensure nobody odious got my money. I gave up because it was too difficult to keep up with it all. There’s no telling how much I’ve spent on products that lined the pockts of the Koch brothers or Trump supporters and if I’m giving them my money why not Chick-Fil-A? That’s where I’m coming from on this. But I didn’t want to get into a debate about it during a night of light hearted board gaming. I had wood for sheep and didn’t want to leave unsatisfied. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/129 "2023-03-03T01:00:54Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I had wood for sheep and didn’t want to leave unsatisfied. Whatever happened to @Hal_Briston anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/130 "2023-03-03T01:36:18Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I’ve had two fast food chicken sandwiches in the past decade. My choices here REALLY don’t matter. I think the chicken sandwich issue is a red herring. The real treasure at Chick-fil-A is the waffle fries. They are basically vegetable [Klondike Bars](https://youtube.com/watch?v=iv-8mvNbALM). ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/131 "2023-03-03T01:44:41Z")
I had them once. (I had their chicken sandwich once, too.) They were fine. Nothing I’d go out of my way for. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/132 "2023-03-03T03:54:04Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > > > I think a big factor is what is a person’s goal in speaking. Are they trying to inform people in an effort to change their views (and presumably actions)? Or are they making sure that everyone around them knows what their beliefs are? > > As a group, we’ve been playing board games for more than a decade on almost a weekly basis. She knew full well I was aware of Chick-Fil-A’s stance and she knew the Potter fan was aware of Rowling’s beliefs on trans people. I don’t think informing was the goal in this particular case. From what you’re saying, she definitely appears to have been going for the second goal I described. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222/133 "2023-03-03T16:32:37Z")
It was alluded to upthread, but … They used to talk about the Three R’s of being environmentally conscious – Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. In some ways, only “Reduce” is actually particularly green (and that’s consciously eliding the topic of large families). Very little that we spend money on holds up to a rather close and rigorous scrutiny. And then you get to the **[Paradox of Thrift](https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/paradox-of-thrift.asp)** at some theoretical, eventual point on that continuum. Much, if not most, of what we buy is manufactured in emerging nations by the low cost provider with little to no respect for environmental or worker protections. Or worse. But that tends to be far away, in places that most of us will never see, and can be relatively simply rationalized as “still lifting them up.” We have to pick and choose our battles, but we should – individually – be careful about how much of a difference we believe we can make. [Collective effort, of course, having more power than individual effort] [ANECDOTE] I had a Gen 1 Prius. A very bright engineer who employs my very bright brother chided me and headed toward the _Social Justice Warrior As Snarl Word_ path. I told him that I don’t kid myself: batteries were a current and future disaster to be reckoned with, and building my car in Japan, and transporting it here, wasn’t particularly a carbon reducing move. “I just like the technology and want to support it with my wallet.” He high-fived me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lecturing-others-on-issues-in-social-settings/980222.md?page=6)