# Left Behind Members Return Home Please **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 31, 1999, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297 "1999-12-31T21:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/21 "2000-01-01T19:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Join our discussions; we have so very few Fundamentalists here. There’s a reason for that, good Doctor: most of them (our friend Jeffery excepted, thank goodness) don’t seem to have a clear sense of boundary between _fact_, and that which they _accept_ as fact due to their faith. Then they come charging into debates, expecting that we will accept Holy Writ - or even their particular interpretation thereof - as fact. Needless to say, we’re rather hard on such people, and after awhile they leave. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/22 "2000-01-01T19:55:00Z")
where is this “Left Behind” board? now I’m curious to see what this is all about. ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/23 "2000-01-01T19:57:00Z")
[http://www.leftbehind.com](http://www.leftbehind.com) * * * Carpe diem - Seize the day Carpe noctem - Seize the night Carpe cerevisi - Seize the beer ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/24 "2000-01-01T20:08:00Z")
Go to the [Left Behind Message Board](http://www.leftbehind.com/cgi-local/Ultimate.cgi?action=intro&BypassCookie=true) and click on “The Narrow Road” or “End-Time Events.” TNR is where we spent most of our time, and it has the “We’re under attack” thread (now locked), which is rather amusing. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/25 "2000-01-01T20:39:00Z")
All I have to say is this: The day all the faithful Christians suddenly get physically snatched away by God to dwell in the kingdom of Heaven forever and ever … on that day I will gladly eat a 40-pound bag of moist cow manure with a salad spoon. In addition, I solemnly pledge to broadcast said consumption over the internet. I swear it; cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. To reiterate: Within 24 hours of anything REMOTELY resembling the “Rapture” occurring, I PROMISE to eat a 40 pound bag of moist, fresh cow manure, with a salad spoon, LIVE ON CAMERA. So I’ll just sit here and wait for that to happen. You’ll excuse me if I don’t hold my breath? Does anyone besides me feel bad for their kids? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/26 "2000-01-01T20:44:00Z")
One message from **MikeM** (not our MikeM, the one on the LBMB who signed on as “MKM” over here), in the “We’re Under Attack” thread, contains the following paragraph: > [@](#): > > The thing that disturbs me the most is how people can rely on their “intellect” and not rely on faith. It only proves that the more “intellectual” a person claims to be, the more ignorant they prove to be. … which I think sums up the prevailing attitude on that message board nicely. * * * The truth, as always, is more complicated than that. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Ed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Just\_Ed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Ed)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/27 "2000-01-01T22:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Left Behind Members Return Home Please He _said_ please. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/28 "2000-01-01T23:39:00Z")
These people are scary. Anybody else find it ironic that their message-board is on a black-background? Sounds a bit, um, . . . Nah, too easy. -Melin ---
**Author:** ![Court\_Jester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/65b543/32.png) [@Court\_Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Court_Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/29 "2000-01-01T23:52:00Z")
RTA says: > [@](#): > > To reiterate: Within 24 hours of anything REMOTELY resembling the “Rapture” occurring, I PROMISE to eat a 40 pound bag of moist, fresh cow manure, with a salad spoon, LIVE ON CAMERA. > So I’ll just sit here and wait for that to happen. You’ll excuse me if I don’t hold my > breath? ## If the Rapture happens, and you have to live up to your promise, I suggest you hold your breath as much as possible. A hat with bells on is not funny, it is the jester underneath. ---
**Author:** ![24KaratGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/cc9497/32.png) [@24KaratGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/24KaratGold)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/30 "2000-01-02T00:12:00Z")
Thank goodness they’re almost gone. It’s enough to give lurkers and Christians a bad name. Please, everybody, don’t judge Christians by those who simply claim the name. Oh, and Court Jester? Maybe we could buy him some whipped cream to go with that? Goldie ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/31 "2000-01-02T00:22:00Z")
No, I promise to eat it STRAIGHT and completely unadorned with any such spices or so-called taste-masks. So, when’s that Rapture? Anyone? Bueller? (smirking, tapping foot patiently) ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/32 "2000-01-02T21:00:00Z")
If I send you an old 45 of the Blondie song, will you still eat the cow shit? I’ll even include the salad spoon. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/33 "2000-01-03T15:22:00Z")
m.j.agee says it will be June 10th,this year. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/34 "2000-01-04T06:05:00Z")
I see nothing in this thread indicating Mr. Zotti has done anything to or against members of another board. There is, however, a remark by the OP of this thread to having contacted Mr. Zotti, but that can’t seriously be considered as Mr. Zotti’s remarks. Unless, of course, you’re damned stupid. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/35 "2000-01-04T01:51:00Z")
(Over the intercom): The Hale-Bopp Express is leaving in exactly 2 minutes. I repeat, TWO minutes. Please board immediately. This is the last chance for the Left Behind Members to return home. Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![Navigator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@Navigator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Navigator)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2000, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/36 "2000-01-04T07:03:00Z")
BAAAAAA hahahahahaha Um… aren’t they all dead? * * * † Jon † Phillipians 4:13 ---
**Author:** ![Navigator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@Navigator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Navigator)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2000, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/37 "2000-01-04T07:07:00Z")
I mean the Hale-Boppers… not the Pounders… {wanting to say something about corpses and vultures, but it probably wouldn’t get understood} * * * † Jon † Phillipians 4:13 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2000, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/38 "2000-01-04T13:24:00Z")
(Winking) No, silly, they’re not all dead. Their souls are riding the Hale-Bopp comet into eternity. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2000, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/39 "2000-01-04T14:03:00Z")
Anyone who would wear a purple jogging suit deserves to die. (note to self: Time for a vacation. Now you’re insulting dead people’s clothes…) ---
**Author:** ![Lauralee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lauralee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lauralee)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297/40 "2000-01-05T06:20:00Z")
Gator, they probably aren’t into “Pounders”. Of course, if it was an anagram, they’d probably get it. (Sorry, couldn’t help myself…) But as one Pound Puppy to another, was there ever a point to the OP? And if so, was it worth all this??? Oy. It’s ok, though. This place is cool, even if it’s not all black and red. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-behind-members-return-home-please/17297.md?page=3)