# Left-handed compliments **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2008, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824 "2008-09-16T12:04:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/61 "2008-09-17T04:19:53Z")
I recall in Somerset Maugham’s _The Razor’s Edge_, one character tells another: “I don’t positively hate you all of the time.” ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/62 "2008-09-17T04:33:54Z")
(upon seeing someone in formal clothes for the first time) “You clean up really nice!” ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/63 "2008-09-17T04:47:49Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I don’t get so many compliments as a left-hander, but I do get a lot of quiet awe. My best friend has known me since 4th grade and she still utters, ‘‘You’re left handed!’’ every time she sees me write, as if she’d just forgotten and the wonderful secret had once again been revealed. People look over my shoulder with interest. > > Is it really THAT fascinating? I don’t know. It’s surprising the number of people that I’ve known forever who don’t realize I’m lefthanded. And then they demand to see me write something. I don’t get it. As for back-handed compliments, someone once told me they were pleasantly surprised by how I sound when I sing. Left me going :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/64 "2008-09-17T05:20:13Z")
“Well, you lasted longer than Jim.” Gee, thanks. Right after losing my virginity I was really wanting to hear a comparison to my buddy. :smack: But what can I say? I have a tendency to bring out the most eloquent comments from the ladies. Just a few years prior to to the quote above, I was subjected to the ultimate crash and burn: “Sanity, you’re the sweetest, smartest, most fun guy I know, and you’d probably be the best boyfriend I could ever have. But, I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend, and the next time I date someone, I want to prove to him that I can do _better_.” ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/65 "2008-09-17T05:32:11Z")
“You have such beautiful children. Your husband must be very handsome.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/66 "2008-09-17T05:38:08Z")
An attractive she-student, about 19 or so: “Mr. Sampiro, are you married?” Me: No… She: Are you seeing anybody at the moment? Me: No… She: Would you like to be? Me: Well… uh… thanks, but… # She: Oh! I don’t mean me! It’s my mom, she’s going through a bad divorce and I think she’d really like you! Once on an anonymous review for a class I taught: “He’s really cute for a fat guy.” ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/67 "2008-09-17T05:40:30Z")
A clueless one from me to a friend. Said friend was talking about a disastrous date the night before that had ended with her being called a _pedantic shrew_. Me ( genuinely perplexed by the charge of pedantry ): “You’re not pedantic.” Thankfully she was amused :p. ---
**Author:** ![Azhure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71c47a/32.png) [@Azhure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azhure)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/68 "2008-09-17T08:16:21Z")
> [@Ms.Pumpkin](#): > > From a coworker: “You know, you look a little better with makeup on.” In a similar vein - “Wow, you should wear makeup more often!” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/69 "2008-09-17T12:33:58Z")
> [@Moment\_Slayer](#): > > “You’d be lucky to get Joe to work for you” > > Recommendation lines with possible double meanings… …and I cannot recommend him too highly. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/70 "2008-09-17T13:11:59Z")
> [@Azhure](#): > > In a similar vein - “Wow, you should wear makeup more often!” That there is my Mom. “Well, it looks like you can do a good job sometimes.” Yes, Dad, I’d say 100% on a 100% scale, in a course for which the second-highest grade has been in the 70s, rates as a good job. I’d also say I want a wet trout to hit you with. This one isn’t even back-handed, but for the last 22 years my ex-classmates’ mothers have been finding me trimmer, taller and better looking every time. Yeah, I did develop sooner than others. The mother of an ex-classmate, hearing I was majoring in engineering (engineering of any kind is traditionally considered the hardest majors, in Spain): “oh my! You’re… smart? I thought you just liked reading!” Trying to follow her logic makes my head hurt. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/71 "2008-09-17T13:56:01Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > “You have such beautiful children. Your husband must be very handsome.” True story: My senior year of high school. Academic awards night. My parents are sitting next to the parents of a classmate, who it turns out will be one of our valedictorians (they tied). The dad is a professor at USC, the mom … I have no idea what she does, but at some point during the evening, she notices that I’m getting my name called and going up to the stage an awful lot. An awful lot more than her son is, anyway. During one of my trips to the stage, valedictorian’s mom says to my mom something to the effect of “You must be so proud,” to which my mom says, “Yes, we are.” V-mom says, “What does your husband do for a living?” My mom answers, “He drives a delivery truck.” V-mom, thrown somewhat for a loop that obviously in my family, the woman is the breadwinner, replies, “Oh, then what do _you_ do?” My mom replies, “I’m a secretary.” V-mom, now utterly lost, asks in complete sincerity, “Where do you think he gets it from, then?” ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/72 "2008-09-17T15:51:49Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Hmmm… I’m left handed _and_ gay. I’m 18 percent of the population! 😃 > . That’s one HELL of a MPD you’ve got there. [sub] **M** ultiple **P** ersonality **D** isorder[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Redfrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc29f/32.png) [@Redfrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redfrost)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/73 "2008-09-17T16:34:24Z")
At my son’s funeral I came across a former high school classmate. She was the valedictorian of my class. She is now a teacher. I love mentioning that I scored significantly higher on my SAT’s (without studying or taking the pSAT) than she did. Anyway, she comes to offer her condolences and we talk for a bit. I mention that I have I now have a Master’s Degree. She says, “Wow, that’s great. I just never thought you… I mean, you didn’t come across as someone who would go to college.” :rolleyes: I just let that hang there for a minute and then said something to extent of “well, you never know what people can do, sometimes they surprise you.” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/74 "2008-09-17T16:50:49Z")
> [@jali](#): > > You’re so well spoken… > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > I hate that one! Cause you can just fill in the “for someone who looks so dumb . . .” I think the salient point here is that (IIRC) **jali** is black. It’s often remarked that a particular black person is “articulate” or “well-spoken” when nobody would bother to notice or comment on such a thing if the speaker had been white. The obvious implication is that these people start with the assumption that any given black person is going to talk like a character from Fat Albert. You may not have noticed this, but keep an eye out. You’ll start to see examples. Sports coverage has a lot of this–a white ball player who can string a coherent sentence together is just a smart guy. A black ball player that can do the same is smart _and_ articulate! :rolleyes: **Asimovian** ’s post may or may not be an example of this. I’m guessing it’s more likely that he doesn’t necessarily speak with common “black” inflections or speech patterns. Or maybe he does, but his friend just didn’t recognize it. Perhaps he could weigh in on the topic. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/75 "2008-09-17T17:17:31Z")
That is by FAR the prettiest dress you own! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/76 "2008-09-17T17:36:52Z")
> [@Folly](#): > > I think it’s the emphasis on the large amount of weight lost. > Sort of the equivalent of, “Hey everyone, remember how FAT he/she used to be!” Again, not getting it. The person used to be fat. Through a lot of hard work, they no longer are. What’s the harm in complimenting them? I think they know how big they used to be, and would be pleased that someone noticed. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/77 "2008-09-17T17:59:39Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Again, not getting it. The person used to be fat. Through a lot of hard work, they no longer are. What’s the harm in complimenting them? I think they know how big they used to be, and would be pleased that someone noticed. [/QUOTE] Normal compliment: “Hey Folly, you’re looking thin and in shape. Really, you look great!” Back-handed compliment: "Hey Folly, when did you stop looking like the Michelin man \*. Hey everybody, remember how fat Folly used to be? It’s like he misplaced a whole 'nother person. One emphasizes how you look now and the other how you used to look. Opinions may vary on how back-handed the second one is obviously. I was at a birthday party with my girlfriend a while back where she was meeting people she hadn’t seen in years. Almost everyone was emphasizing how much weight she had lost since they’d last seen her, and I could see her getting more and more pissed as the party went on. ‘Not in front of the boyfriend, please!’ 🙂 \*Disclaimer: Not personal experience. I’ve never looked like the Michelin man. ---
**Author:** ![Sublata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sublata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublata)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/78 "2008-09-17T18:03:35Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Again, not getting it. The person used to be fat. Through a lot of hard work, they no longer are. What’s the harm in complimenting them? I think they know how big they used to be, and would be pleased that someone noticed. It was just that the length of the “compliment” (which went on even longer than I quoted) and the speaker’s emphasis made it sound less like “You look fabulous now, congratulations!” and more like “My God, what an incredible porker you used to be!” And of course, I knew how big I used to be, but couldn’t she have let me keep my sweet illusion that nobody else had noticed? 🙂 ETA: Yes, Folly. And maybe I should add that I’m no longer in danger of receiving another back-handed compliment like that. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/79 "2008-09-17T18:10:14Z")
From my sister-in-law just recently. “Oh, I like your new glasses, they make your face look thinner.” Yeah, I’ve got a melon head, thanks for reminding me. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824/80 "2008-09-17T18:24:19Z")
Similar to the “you’re so well spoken” comment, a student worker who’s black told me today about a realtor (they’re selling their house) came by and said “This place is decorated so… nice… so modern… so normally!” and meant it as a compliment! Her mother told them “This is just loaner furniture while the Last Supper of Malcolm X paintng’s being cleaned and the Goodwill furniture’s being fitted for plastic covers.” [Curious what she’d say about my place since I have statues of African gods, an antique menorah, a whole wall of crosses, tons of Egyptian bric-a-brac, a Confederate cavalry saber and pistol all in my LR & DR and a cast picture of Sanford & Son [autographed by Demond “Lamont” Wilson, Lawanda “Aunt Esther” Page and Whitman “Grady” Mayo] along with books on various gay topics, the Third Reich, and a collection of antique porcelain Santa Clauses in my bedroom… even _I_ can’t figure out who the hell the people who live there are:D). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handed-compliments/463824.md?page=5)