# Left-handedness - what should we think? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 27, 2002, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854 "2002-09-27T11:47:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/81 "2002-10-01T11:23:13Z")
Also it’s pretty obvious that to campaign for ‘rights’ for left-handers is self-contradictory. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/82 "2002-10-01T11:55:51Z")
This is so going to end up in Threadspotting… still wondering which Catholics end up at 404 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/83 "2002-10-01T12:07:11Z")
It only remains to mention that God sent Jonah to Nineveh to warn of forthcoming destruction; why was God so angry with them? > [@](#): > > _Jonah 4:11_ > But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people **who cannot tell their right hand from their left** , and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/84 "2002-10-01T12:23:25Z")
I’ve converted two more people to left-handedness, where do I get my left-handed toaster? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/85 "2002-10-01T13:01:40Z")
Don’t be silly; Left-handed people don’t eat toast; they drink the blood of innocent babies! ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/86 "2002-10-01T13:30:11Z")
## \*\*Mangetout: "It only remains to mention that God sent Jonah to Nineveh to warn of forthcoming destruction; why was God so angry with them? " \*\* quote: ## Jonah 4:11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, \*\*and many cattle as well. \*\*Should I not be concerned about that great city?" Huh. I always thought it was the cattle. ---
**Author:** ![ForgottenLore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@ForgottenLore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForgottenLore)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/87 "2002-10-01T13:53:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t be silly; Left-handed people don’t eat toast; they drink the blood of innocent babies! I laughed so hard at this I think I nearly burst a blood vessel in my brain. I’ve heard it said that sinistrophobes are suppressing a deep-seated desire to experiment with left-handedness themselves. Y’all excuse me while I duck for cover. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/88 "2002-10-01T14:00:41Z")
Let me just issue a stern warning that anyone who is ‘Left-curious’ should seek counselling at once! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/89 "2002-10-01T16:23:39Z")
Before you get all righteous with the stern warnings, **Mangie** , don’t forget that your country’s military went down the crapper shortly after it got filled with “ **left** enants.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/90 "2002-10-01T16:29:46Z")
LA LA LA, I can’t hear you, LA LA LA. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/91 "2002-10-01T16:53:04Z")
Let me tell you Liberals something here: **Christians ARE NOT the haters! It is the southpaws that are doing the hating here!** Does their disgusting choice of a “lifestyle” fill them with a violent hatred for the rest of humanity, or does the psychopathic disregard for human life come first? Either way, their seething hatred is enough to make a decent Christian projectile vomit. Get this: my son’s school recently tried to pass a rule forbidding the football team from bullying, beating and humiliating left-handed students! **WHERE THE FUCK DO THE PERVERTS GET OFF DEMANDING SPECIAL PRIVILEGES?** Let me tell you, me and all the **real equality-loving Christians** in this town saw to it that THAT rule never went through, but we had NOTHING TO DO with the pipe-bomb explosion that destroyed the Leftorium at Springfield Mall. (Ned Flanders, by the way, for all his pretenses of piety, is SO GOING TO **HELL** EVEN **I** DON’T THINK IT’S FUNNY!) ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/92 "2002-10-01T17:49:00Z")
An announcement: Starting next Monday a new night club opens in the “Left-town” neighborhood of Chicago. **GRIPS** , at 1123 E. Addison bills itself as “The place to get left, right or down the middle.” The night club spokesman, a mystery man who goes only by the name Sinistro La Gauche, had this to say: “Grips is not a lefties only club, by any means. We want to welcome people from across the manual spectrum, lefties, righties, ambies, even the trans-manuals, or " lighties” and “refties.” We hope to foster an atmosphere in which people feel free to shake whatever hand is presented to them." Grips is the new name for a club which was being advertised under the name “All Hands On Deck,” until the owners realized that name could be easily confused with the similarly named “All Hands On Dick,” on Halsted street. ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/93 "2002-10-01T18:17:42Z")
Whoah. Way to overanalyze a recessive trait. I happen to be right-handed (one of the FEW dominant traits I inherited), and the only complaint I have against left-handed people is that they’re incredibly hard to fence against. I wanna be a trans-manual! Ambidextrity all the way! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/94 "2002-10-01T18:26:33Z")
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body; and, if the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body; then, how fast is train “A” going when it passes through downtown Peoria? Did I get that right? FYI…Everybody is born right handed yet only the **greatest** overcome it. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/95 "2002-10-01T18:40:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Jonah 4:11 > But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" **Mangetout** , I cannot understand how you can say left-handedness is unnatural, when here it is clearly stated in the Bible that many **cattle** are left-handed. I anxiously await your exegesis of this passage! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/96 "2002-10-01T20:08:42Z")
IANALeftie, but - Practically every culture on earth - apart from the US, led like sheep by the liberal media - knows that left-handedness is abnormal. In Russian, for instance, dealing _na levo_ means dealing “on the left” - what a decent, God-fearing culture would refer to as “underhanded” or crooked dealings. I myself hold no prejudice against these repulsive filth-mongering lefties. Some of my best friends are left-handed, although I find it both indecent and rude for them to attempt to force their lifestyle on me by attempting to shake my left hand. Fortunately, after I run away screaming and compulsively scrub my hand with Lysol after a few attempts, they have the grace not to try to corrupt me again. Perhaps there are some benighted souls still attempting to justify this depravity on moral grounds. Such attempts are clearly as ridiculous as they are feeble. But taken strictly on public health grounds, the well-documented link between left-wingedness and disease [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/684236.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/684236.stm) should be enough to necessitate minor medical procedures to correct the problem, such as amputation and re-education in separate facilities. All this is IMHO, of course, but anyone who disagrees with me on this has called me an abomination, and denied me my humanity. Can’t we simply live and let live, you disgusting piece of slime-sucking filth? Is there no common ground of understanding between the righteous and pure, and the depraved and hell-bound scions of blasphemous harlotry? If you disagree with what I have to say, why do you even open these threads, you pus-licking putrescence of the Pit? Can’t we engage in civilized and decent debate, you half-witted ignoramus? You don’t even answer the questions I have asked a dozen times. Why is that? Obviously it is because you are too stupid to realize that you have been lied to, you cretinous poltroon. You are so busy scratching your disease-laden fundament with your left hand to see the self-evident truth of my every utterance. Begone, foul imp of Satan! Back to the darkness that covers the filthy deeds you commit with your depraved digits! Be off to the goats at the left hand of God, and enter not into the kingdom of the righteous! (Matthew 25:33-41) YMMV. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/97 "2002-10-01T20:42:58Z")
Is it a sin to be left handed or to excersize the use of your left hand? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/98 "2002-10-01T22:28:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\* > > **Mangetout** , I cannot understand how you can say left-handedness is unnatural, when here it is clearly stated in the Bible that many **cattle** are left-handed. > > I anxiously await your exegesis of this passage! \*\* I’m glad you asked this because it enables me to explain an important point, which is that I didn’t come here to listen to anyone else’s opinion on the matter; I came here to state the bare facts. You can all say whatever you like about left-handedness, but everyone has a right to their opinion, so stop arguing with me. I won’t change my mind ever. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/99 "2002-10-02T01:46:06Z")
This thread has convinced me of the evil of my ways. I MUST have been born right-handed, but apparently was led into sin in my very infancy. By kindergarten I was a habitual sinner, and I NEVER CONFESSED IT to the parish priest. The novel _The Left Hand of Darkness_ now makes chiiling sense. It is a Satanic bible! To atone, I am considering following the Old Testament axiom, “If my eye offend thee, cast it out!” But what if, after the amputation, I remain left-stumped? Would the lord understand? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854/100 "2002-10-02T02:27:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimboguy \* > [This thread has convinced me of the evil of my ways. I MUST have been born right-handed, but apparently was led into sin in my very infancy. By kindergarten I was a habitual sinner, and I NEVER CONFESSED IT to the parish priest. You… you’re a **lefty** and you didn’t even **tell** me that before wanting to meet up with me in Madison?! I suppose you were just going to wait until we shook hands and then you’d just put out your left hand like it was _normal_ or something! :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/left-handedness-what-should-we-think/129854.md?page=6)