# Leprechauns Are Stealing My Mail **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245 "2004-12-17T01:18:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/21 "2004-12-17T17:12:43Z")
> [@Severian](#): > > The happy little NOTICE TO RECIPIENT demanding that I fight all urges to toss this right in the trash with the pizza box, orange rind, used condoms, and burnt out light bulb is a nice touch too…these little decorations are to convince someone who may be otherwise inclined to send this letter to the landfill unopened Does your goat-fleching city not give you a mixed-paper recycle bin? [louder] Can you not take a bag to your office’s recycle bin? [shrieking]Don’t You Care About America?!!? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/22 "2004-12-17T17:14:19Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I sometimes wish those makers of junk mail could see me blissfully ripping up unopened envelopes as I walk up the driveway from my mailbox and then tossing it right into the trash can sitting right out side my garage door. The shit never makes it indoors. I get some kind of feeling of revenge when I rip stuff into tiny shreds and toss it in the trash. HAH! Take that you junk mail fiend! HAH! Junk mailer here (though on hold at the moment). Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I know that 97% of what I send is wasted. But that 2-3% makes it all worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Severian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Severian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Severian)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/23 "2004-12-17T17:35:23Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > _Please_ tell me that is a joke. > > Because if it’s not, I am going to have to get my beatin’ stick out of my trunk and take it over to Visa HQ. Me, joke? Why, I’d never think of it! The first one was real though. Seriously, what’s the next step here? I’ve already seen mailings that do in fact have a card in them. Only it’s just a “sample” card. How far are they going to take it in order to convince someone to open their envelopes? Would [this](http://home.comcast.net/~atembreull/images/letter3.JPG) cross a line? > [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I know that 97% of what I send is wasted. But that 2-3% makes it all worth it. Is opening the letter really a step closer to accepting the offer? Specifically credit offers. What person throws away all the envelopes that say “You’re Approved!” and then, fooled into opening this one, succumbs to the sheer attractiveness of the offer and signs away their first born? > [@The Devil's Grandmother](#): > > Does your goat-fleching city not give you a mixed-paper recycle bin? [louder] Can you not take a bag to your office’s recycle bin? [shrieking]Don’t You Care About America?!!? Actually, it will be recycled. I just wanted to mention the used condoms. Happy now? And thanks for mentioning goat-felching. It lends legitimacy to any Pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/24 "2004-12-17T18:40:40Z")
> [@Severian](#): > > Is opening the letter really a step closer to accepting the offer? Specifically credit offers. What person throws away all the envelopes that say “You’re Approved!” and then, fooled into opening this one, succumbs to the sheer attractiveness of the offer and signs away their first born? IANAJM, but yes, yes it does, unfortunately. The fact that the attemts to get you to open the envelope keep ratcheting up the stakes pretty much proves that. If honesty worked, junk mailers would be more than happy to try that. But it doesn’t, so they don’t. The industry spends billions of dollars each year trying to steal market share from each other or increasing the size of the market. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/25 "2004-12-18T01:06:01Z")
Yes. Absolutely. Just getting the envelope opened by hook or by crook brings responses. Hell, there’s no reason you should be surprised. For God’s sake…SPAM works. Once you realize that you should no longer be surprised at anything. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/26 "2004-12-18T01:47:48Z")
> [@trandallt](#): > > You might want to keep your eye on that one. Well, as long as the leprechauns aren’t telling her to burn things… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/27 "2004-12-18T03:08:25Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > Och, ye little bastards! Always after me Lucky Charms! Is it wrong that I’m always reading the thread title as “Leprechauns Are Stealing Me Mail”? ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/28 "2004-12-18T05:51:16Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > As my daughter said (at age five no less) > > Yeah, leprechauns are tricky. That’s why you have to stab them in the neck. I can only hope that someday I’ll have a child like that. I bet she’s a darling. No sarcasm there, I mean it. ---
**Author:** ![Carcosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@Carcosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carcosa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/29 "2004-12-18T12:55:09Z")
> [@The Devil's Grandmother](#): > > Does your goat-fleching city not give you a mixed-paper recycle bin? [louder] Can you not take a bag to your office’s recycle bin? [shrieking]Don’t You Care About America?!!? Turns out the city gave up goat-fleching after a short trial period. Seems you couldn’t get them into quivers, they weren’t very accurate, and they made an ungodly mess. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/30 "2004-12-19T05:22:16Z")
If there’s a postage paid envelope included, I rip up that junk mail and any more I happen to have and stuff the envelope with it. the thicker the contents, the better. I include a note telling them to take my name off their mailing list and send it all back to them. Seems to be quite effective. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245/31 "2004-12-19T06:40:50Z")
You guys should see the piece of junk mail I received the other day. It looked exactly like a Christmas card. Big squarish envelope, not a skinny little #10. My name and address looked hand written with a felt tip pen (except for a strange ten digit number after my name), and a festive, candy-cane trimmed return address label with the name of a guy I have never heard of from Ft. Lauderdale. I don’t know anyone in Ft. Lauderdale so I was suspicious. I could see through the white envelope and I made out the big words OIL LUBE AND FILTER. Those scumbags were advertising for oil changes. It seems every time I buy a car I am deluged with junk mail. I still get junk from a dealer I bought my Tracker from in 1990. My trash can is on the way in from the mailbox, so like 90% of my mail, it went in. What a waste of paper. Leprechauns stole my Christmas card. :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/leprechauns-are-stealing-my-mail/280245.md?page=1)