# Lesbian love: A poll **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171 "2005-04-07T04:41:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/21 "2005-04-08T05:29:59Z")
Kimera - > [@kimera](#): > > The reason it is called the missionary style is because some Christians decided that that was the ‘proper’ way to have sex and insisted every other group of people they encountered follow suite. Actually, nobody is really sure why it’s called the “missionary” position. Cecil has [some thoughts](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_215.html), but no conclusions. The obvious inference is that someone had inferred (with no evidence) that some christians had decided that the missionary position was the “correct” position. There seems to be little evidence that Christians have ever advocated such a belief. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/22 "2005-04-08T05:39:47Z")
> [@squeegee](#): > > To clarify, the poster is speaking of a type of [chimpanzee](http://williamcalvin.com/teaching/bonobo.htm). I did a double-take on this sentence, before realizing we weren’t discussing humans. Just in case anyone else did a :eek: on first reading. Bonobos are not chimpanzees. There are a different species of animal. From your posted link: > [@](#): > > It is important to understand that bonobos (Pan paniscus) are not chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes). While they share the same genus, bonobos and chimps are markedly distinct species. ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/23 "2005-04-08T06:11:51Z")
**kimera** , no offense meant at all, but you made like 10 statements as though they were fact, so I’m just wondering how you know all this. not that any of it seems impossibly outlandish, but what’s the source? data, hearsay, experience? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/24 "2005-04-08T08:06:40Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > Lesbian encounters, both in humans and our closest relatives tend to take longer than heterosexual encounters. In Bonobos, the average lesbian encounter takes 15 seconds compared to 12 seconds for heterosexuals. And those extra three seconds make all the difference between a random, meaningless use of a subjugated female bonobo as a semen receptacle, and a warm, loving, union between two equal, caring souls. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/25 "2005-04-08T12:07:45Z")
> [@I Love Me](#): > > Bonobos are not chimpanzees. There are a different species of animal. From your posted link: Gah. Hasty reading. Apologies. Please substitute “primate”. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/26 "2005-04-08T13:03:24Z")
> [@nevermore](#): > > well, how about this. think of what you’d do to your girlfriend to make her feel good if you didn’t have a penis: Make her feel good without a penis? Huh? I’ve never heard of such a thing… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/27 "2005-04-08T14:37:43Z")
I’m not the least bit qualified to answer the question. But I had an ex-girlfriend who left me for an older woman, and after we became friends again, she told me one day that her girlfriend had gone to the hospital that afternoon to treat a rib she’d cracked during sex. I couldn’t ask, but my God I wondered. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/28 "2005-04-08T15:39:31Z")
All I can tell you is that there’s none of that silly air-tongue-kissing that you see in nearly every single lesbian porno ever made. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/29 "2005-04-08T20:30:55Z")
Asking how lesbians have sex is like asking how heterosexuals have sex. I’m not trying to demean the OP it’s just that there are so many ways to experience a sexual encounter I couldn’t possibly describe them all. It depends on the individuals involved and the couple as a whole. Some like dildos and vibrators, some like any kind of penetration, some hate penetration. But yeah, I would have to say we tend to be more non-orgasm oriented during sex and take the sensations of the whole experience as a satisfying experience. There are times when it’s sweet, sensual, romantic and intimate and there are other times when you just f\*ck each others brains out like wild animals. But that’s all I’m going to say now because I just got an image of some skeeve printing out this forum thread, tucking it under his arm, grabbing the kleenex and heading off to the jerkatorium. :::::shudder::::: ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/30 "2005-04-08T21:37:16Z")
> [@nevermore](#): > > **kimera** , no offense meant at all, but you made like 10 statements as though they were fact, so I’m just wondering how you know all this. not that any of it seems impossibly outlandish, but what’s the source? data, hearsay, experience? Some of it is experience. I don’t want to go into details about my sex life without a thorough TMI warning, so I will just leave it at that. I am studying Human Sexuality in school right now, so most of my information is from the texts I am reading. The bonobos information I got from [Biological Exuberance by Bruce Bagemihl](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/031225377X/102-2117470-0253735?v=glance). The details about the most popular sexual positions comes from ‘Varieties of Coital Positions’ published in _Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality_ by Langmyhr, 1976. Masters and Johnson were the ones who first noted the longer sex times in lesbian couples. I’m afraid I don’t remember which of their studies this was first noted, it’s just in my notes as part of a 1979 study. The oral sex information is from [American Couples: Money, Work, Sex](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0688037720/qid=1112996011/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-2117470-0253735?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) by Blumstein and Schwartz. The detail about sex toys was from my notes from class, and a site was not given for it. A google search on ‘Lesbian sex toys’ hasn’t been helpful in finding any cites for actual studies. 😛 **squeegee** , St Augustine, who was very influential on Christian sexuality said that the ‘missionary’ position was the natural one. [Go Ask Alice](http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0891.html) is a great resource for individuals interesting in learning about different aspects of sexuality and the experts there contend that they really did try and teach others how to properly have sex. I will try and find some cites that deal with actual cases though. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171/31 "2005-04-09T00:39:13Z")
I’m surprised nobody has tossed out this quote yet: “I can see fingers and a tongue from here; anything else is gravy.” –Mary Callahan, explaining how she can have intimate relationships with an alien (“The Blacksmith’s Tale,” Spider Robinson) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-love-a-poll/298171.md?page=1)