# Lesbian Strap-on s
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [December 28, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541 "2000-12-28T19:14:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2000, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/21 "2000-12-29T22:22:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Anthracite \*
> [sub]No offense, I’m only kidding here, sister. I also want to extend an invitation to join ULVAN. Woo![/sub]
_cough_
Um, could I get an invite too? Normally, I don’t grovel, but I’m willing to make an exception in this case.
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### Author:  [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/22 "2000-12-29T23:05:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by beakerxf \*
> \*\*_cough_
>
> Um, could I get an invite too? Normally, I don’t grovel, but I’m willing to make an exception in this case.\*\*
Well good grief, sister, of _course_ you may join! Just remember that I am the Dark Queen, **andygirl** is the Dark Princess, read the ULVAN thread, and everyone will welcome you with smiling fangs and ready strap-on’s. 😉
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/23 "2000-12-30T00:11:57Z")
Shouldn’t that be smiling strap-ons and ready fangs?
Er…
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### Author:  [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/24 "2000-12-30T05:20:39Z")
Note that lesbians have much more patience with trolls than the **Gay Guy** himself.
Party on, ladies! 😉
Esprix
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### Author:  [@douglips](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/douglips)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/25 "2000-12-30T07:33:44Z")
Holy crap! Is this a record for number of sock puppets in a thread, or am I on drugs?
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### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/26 "2000-12-30T16:03:18Z")
[flat on back in dining room, having fallen off the computer chair laughing at the mental image of a Martha Stewart dildo]
Ouch. I’m suing.
ohgod i think i wet my pants…
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### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/27 "2000-12-30T16:14:02Z")
But definitely not black. Black is not a Martha Stewart color. Make a selection from one of Martha’s Color Charts.
There’s the [English Perennials Collection.](http://www.baysidepaintcompany.com/images/schreuder/mscolors1.jpg)
There’s the [Araucana Collection,](http://www.baysidepaintcompany.com/images/schreuder/mscolors.jpg) based on the colors of, believe it or not, Martha’s chickens.
Personally, I’m torn between Putty and Comfrey Green. What do the Teeming Millions say?
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### Author:  [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/28 "2000-12-30T16:29:22Z")
Putty? Good Lord, woman: an entire industry is rallying around the No More Putty-Colored Boxes (i.e., computers) movement and you want to go _back_ to putty? I suggest Lupine Pink or perhaps Cosmos Melon. If nothing else, you’re never going to lose the thing.
Martha would no doubt suggest dying one’s pubic hair to contrast nicely with the dildo color. There we have the true reason for Lesbian Bed Death: if you follow the rules, it’s too damn much trouble.
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### Author:  [@HP\_Ellison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HP_Ellison)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/29 "2000-12-30T18:03:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> According to those who know, men give better blow jobs. So why don’t more men accept blow jobs from men?
Because they weren’t until now aware of this useful bit of information?
Oh the utter juvenility!
-H.P.E.
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### Author:  [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/30 "2000-12-30T18:06:28Z")
Three responses.
1. Sunrise, think about your logic.
Your question implies that a woman with a strap-on is basically the same thing as a man.
So, by this logic, why not ask: Why do women sleep with men when they could sleep with a woman wearing a strap-on? Or perhaps - Why don’t gay men just sleep with a woman with a strap-on?
I do not mean this in a rude way - but come on. Use your head. Use some logic. Use some common sense. It will be clear to you.
1. Further…biologically speaking - women are built to enjoy the penetration.
2. Because they like boobies.
Tibs
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/31 "2000-12-30T19:07:55Z")
Esprix, I think that lesbian patience at large is a by-product of our dating habits. I mean, really… do you know how long it takes to convince some straight girls? It’s mostly boys that are two beer queers. 😉
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### Author:  [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/32 "2000-12-31T01:31:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by andygirl \*
> \*\*Esprix, I think that lesbian patience at large is a by-product of our dating habits. I mean, really… do you know how long it takes to convince some straight girls? It’s mostly boys that are two beer queers. 😉 \*\*
Are you sure, andygirl. Cause in most of the, um, documentary films that I’ve seen the straight girls seem pretty easy to convince. Like where they show the young wife frustrated with her husband’s working late it seems that her friend can convince her to become lesbian with almost no trouble at all. And I’ve never seen any guy in those films even try to hit on each other, much less become a “two beer queer.”
You’d better not be telling me that those documentaries don’t reflect the _real_ lesbian experience.
🙂
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### Author:  [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/33 "2000-12-31T02:21:54Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Anthracite \*
> Well good grief, sister, of _course_ you may join! Just remember that I am the Dark Queen, **andygirl** is the Dark Princess, read the ULVAN thread, and everyone will welcome you with smiling fangs and ready strap-on’s. 😉
Great! Beaker, Dark Soldier in Training, reporting for duty. I’ll start polishing my strap-on for inspection.
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by andygirl_
> Esprix, I think that lesbian patience at large is a by-product of our dating habits. I mean, really… do you know how long it takes to convince some straight girls? It’s mostly boys that are two beer queers.
I’ve been working on some for **years**. Any minute now…
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lesbian-strap-on-s/47541/34 "2000-12-31T02:36:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by beakerxf \*
> Great! Beaker, Dark Soldier in Training, reporting for duty. I’ll start polishing my strap-on for inspection.
beaker, I now have this vivid mental picture of a camoflage strap on.
Gives a new meaning to atten-hut, no?
> [@](#):
>
> I’ve been working on some for **years**. Any minute now… \*\*
You’re fighting the noble fight, you know. Keep up the good work.
\
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