# Lessons I've learned from pop music **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033 "2006-07-18T16:20:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/41 "2006-07-18T22:51:57Z")
Someone may have shot the sheriff, but that does not necessarily mean that he shot the deputy. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/42 "2006-07-18T23:01:24Z")
She threw the letter away. The god of hellfire wants me to burn. Unmarked helicopters are hovering, proof that the Lord is coming soon. Morris is cooler than Santa Claus. She loves to love me, baby. In her absence, sunlight seldom penetrates my windows. The boogie wasn’t funky. The “Big D” doesn’t mean Dallas. She believed in me. Bippy bop. Bop. Mmm, bop. Bill needs to lay off pursuing that one girl, because she isn’t his girlfriend. She’s my girl, mmkay? Might as well jump. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/43 "2006-07-18T23:07:39Z")
Crying won’t help you, praying won’t do you no good, Now, crying won’t help you, praying won’t do you no good. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/44 "2006-07-18T23:08:59Z")
I have to be aware of: 1. When to hold them. 2. When to fold them. 3. When to walk away, and lastly 4. When to run. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/45 "2006-07-18T23:11:03Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] In her absence, sunlight seldom penetrates my windows. [/QUOTE] 😃 Nicely done. ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/46 "2006-07-18T23:14:50Z")
One should not in fact, fear the reaper. Especially if your name is Mary. Monkeys, if properly trained, can drive trains If you date a girl named Layla, you will eventually be on your knees You shouldn’t be angry if your mom smokes pot, hits the bottle and goes right to the rock ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/47 "2006-07-18T23:20:21Z")
It’s always night when Bill Withers’ SO is absent. Things are going to improve considerably when an Inuit with the unlikely name of Quinn arrives. [QUOTE=Lemur866] Jesus was a man. He was a carpenter by hand. He was a hard working man and brave. … [/QUOTE] Jesus was also in Chicago before heading to New Orleans. On the way down, He turned the Mississippi River to wine. He also builds hot rods. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/48 "2006-07-18T23:23:33Z")
They’ll hurt me bad but I won’t mind. I know you’ve had problems, you’re not the only one. Special favors come in 31 flavors. I hope you know that this will go down on your PERMANENT RECORD. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/49 "2006-07-18T23:24:38Z")
Here are some of the things “you’ve got to” do… …try a little tenderness …hide your love away …hold on for one more day …go ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/50 "2006-07-18T23:34:30Z")
My good friend Jeremiah? Not a gecko or a toad, that’s for damn sure. Not only that, the guy’s not really easy to understand. Nevertheless, you know that movie Sideways? He could totally identify with the main character’s hobby. ---
**Author:** ![Baine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Baine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baine)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/51 "2006-07-18T23:39:13Z")
If you find yourself at a dance and are also looking for romance there’s a good possibility you may have to choose whether or not to take a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/52 "2006-07-18T23:42:06Z")
Istanbul is no longer called Constantinople. If I get fired from my job, the bank repos my car, I get disowned by my family, and my daughter gets taken away by CPS…I will have discovered what it means to be free. Should Toni Braxton’s significant other decide to end their relationship, she will die of asphyxiation. Though nobody has ever bothered to point it out until now, apparently, well, I’m a dog. And because I’ve never utilized my canine abilities to apprehend a rabbit, Elvis has declared me _persona non grata_. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/53 "2006-07-18T23:49:33Z")
Also, when going out on–or coming off of–the street, there will be people you’ll meet, you’re likely to feel some heat, hear a beat, and should be prepared to move your feet. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/54 "2006-07-18T23:50:08Z")
If I desire to be someone’s lover, it would be a particularly good idea to get with that individual’s friends. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/55 "2006-07-19T00:11:21Z")
[QUOTE=Kizarvexius] Though nobody has ever bothered to point it out until now, apparently, well, I’m a dog. And because I’ve never utilized my canine abilities to apprehend a rabbit, Elvis has declared me _persona non grata_. [/QUOTE] Standing ovation! Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/56 "2006-07-19T00:24:50Z")
You can do anything you want to people as long as you don’t step on their shoes. Good to know. Jazz is for crazy people, blues is for old farts, so you should just be allowed to play rock and roll, while your still in that first pair of shoes. Wearing sunglasses at night is a-okay. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/57 "2006-07-19T00:28:51Z")
The future dream is a shopping spree. If it keeps on raining levee’s going to break. The best thing you can hope for is to die in your sleep. Everything under the sun is in tune but the sun is eclipsed by the moon. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/58 "2006-07-19T00:29:13Z")
Although there are at least 50 ways to leave your lover, Paul Simon has seen fit to identify only a handful - leaving the remainder as an exercise for the listener. ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/59 "2006-07-19T00:39:42Z")
1. Bird bird bird, buh-bird’s the word. 2. Believe it or not, “deep fried chicken” and “best friend STICKIN” can indeed be rhymed in a “musical” way. 3. How to spell “respect” 4. If you’re ever feeling alone, you will likely, at some point, pick up the phone. 5. Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, Sting will be watching you. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/60 "2006-07-19T00:54:55Z")
[QUOTE=Carlyjay] 1. Bird bird bird, buh-bird’s the word. [/QUOTE] While everyone may indeed have heard that bird is the word, I’m afraid I must disagree. This bold claim has never been backed up by any rationale and we must be careful not to accept it on authority only. This theory has given way to the more reasoned assertion that the word, actually, is “grease.” It does after all have both truth and meaning, and has the further advantage of being the way that we’re feeling. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033.md?page=4)