# Lessons I've learned from pop music **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033 "2006-07-18T16:20:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/161 "2006-07-20T06:31:46Z")
TS Eliot was wrong. The earth died screaming. My bone has a little machine. I’m the bone machine. There are too many brothers dying and mothers crying. Any girls will almost always be mentioned in the context of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/162 "2006-07-20T06:57:51Z")
[QUOTE=Risha] Oh, and if you take a fish head to the movies, you won’t have to pay to get it in! [/QUOTE] Another date tip would be to not invite this fish head to have a capuchino with you at the Olive Garden if you are a woman of aisan descent. They WILL say no. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/163 "2006-07-20T09:40:35Z")
Great unanswered questions of pop music - 1. How do I get to San Jose? 2. If the Thunderbird makes the Indy 500 look like a Roman Chariot race, and a little Duece Coupe can walk said Thunderbird, and a Fuel Injected Stingray can smoke an XKE, who would win the race between the Duece Coupe and the Stingray? 3. What happened to papas old bag? Other things I have learned: Communists are ostracized in Denver. Maggie is taking advantage of the Howard government’s new industrial relations laws and making working conditions on her farm intolerable. That that nice old man down the road isn’t all he seems to be. That compared to the alternatives, Staying Alive is highly desirable That I should not come home with amourous intent if I have been imbiding. That the sun is a form of poultry. That doing it is deleterious to your health and it is in fact possible to do it with terminal consequences! That apparently I am in some way indentured to either the Devil or God and have to serve them at some point. that although Bruce Johnson of the Beach Boys claims to have written the songs of love and special things, bandmate Mike Love will proably sue him , claiming in fact he wrote half of them. That as a citizen of the free world, it is my duty to keep on rockin’ ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/164 "2006-07-20T11:17:14Z")
It came as a surprise to me, as it no doubt did you, that extra-terrestrials refer to their space-faring voyages as “sailing away.” ---
**Author:** ![Hook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hook)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/165 "2006-07-20T11:29:25Z")
**The money I earn won’t buy my youth again** Took a long time to realize but damn if that’s not true. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/166 "2006-07-20T12:34:33Z")
in spite of being a seemingly depressed Englishman, if you are a charming man with a charming voice, and your car has leather seats, simply open your car door and Steven Morrissey will eagerly join you in your car… in fact, he will long recall the event and even muse over dying by your side should you be hit by a ten-ton truck or a double decker bus… ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/167 "2006-07-20T13:03:21Z")
[QUOTE=Risha] Oh, and if you take a fish head to the movies, you won’t have to pay to get it in! [/QUOTE] Not only are fish heads roly-poly, but they are also yummy, so eat 'em up! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/168 "2006-07-20T13:04:57Z")
[QUOTE=mamboman] Great unanswered questions of pop music - 1. How do I get to San Jose? 2. If the Thunderbird makes the Indy 500 look like a Roman Chariot race, and a little Duece Coupe can walk said Thunderbird, and a Fuel Injected Stingray can smoke an XKE, who would win the race between the Duece Coupe and the Stingray? 3. What happened to papas old bag? [/QUOTE] 4. Why was the bench still warm? Who had been there? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/169 "2006-07-20T13:56:51Z")
They Ain’t Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore ;j ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/170 "2006-07-20T14:10:47Z")
I learned that good looking men are dumb as a box of hammers. and that if you want to be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty women your wife. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/171 "2006-07-20T16:24:44Z")
I learned that when suffering from gastric distress, one may find relief from drinking a mixture of calcium carbonate and coconut milk. It is crucial that this measure be followed within twenty-four hours by consultation with a healthcare professional. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/172 "2006-07-20T16:30:16Z")
Unfortunately, I got stoned and I missed it. But, I ain’t seen nuthin yet. Oh yeah, Hattie don’t want no thank yous. So don’t go looking for her any more. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/173 "2006-07-20T16:45:08Z")
I know Jenny’s number. She’s evidently a popular girl. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/174 "2006-07-20T16:47:09Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] 4. Why was the bench still warm? Who had been there? [/QUOTE] If you shoot a gun per-pin-dic-u-lar to the name of your town in a desktop globe, the exit wound will be in a for-en-nay-shun. (and there’ll be a hole in your desk) ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/175 "2006-07-20T17:21:52Z")
The people of the town can be quite rude and might call you unpleasant names such as gypsy, tramp and thief. But if your mother can dance, then they’ll still visit and might even give you some money. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/176 "2006-07-20T17:30:54Z")
Eddie Rabbit will never let you forget that he’s fond of rainy nights. Love is a nose, but you’d better not pick it.😉 You got to wash that lonesome hallway, you got to wash it by yourself.😉 Tommy James’s baby does the hanky-panky, and he can’t stop telling you so. If you want to learn how to play guitar, you must forget about all the macho tish.\* When you’re at the blood bank, among the phlebotomists, you’ll find yourself imagining Freddy Mercury singing about Flea Bottom Girls making the rockin’ world go 'round. The Cisco Kid was your friend. The doorknob’s advice, which you surely haven’t forgotten, was, “Feed your head.” Ahab the Arab’s camel’s name is Clyde, and Ahab’s girlfriend has an amusing bone in her nose. There ain’t nothin’ in the world like a big-eyed girl to make me act so funny. \*A local radio station made Mellencamp’s song playable by playing that word backwards. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/177 "2006-07-20T17:47:07Z")
Two hours of menial labour earns enough money to stay in a 96 sq ft room. But I haven’t got any smokes. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/178 "2006-07-20T18:11:56Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] The doorknob’s advice, which you surely haven’t forgotten, was, “Feed your head.” [/QUOTE] Unless I’m being _whooshed_ here, it was the Dormouse who told you to feed your head. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/179 "2006-07-20T18:17:41Z")
If you load 16 tons, all you’ll get is another day older and deeper in debt. If you name your boy Sue, they’ll grow up tougher than if you named them more conventional boy names. Don’t mess with the coward’s girl… it may cause him to grow a set. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033/180 "2006-07-20T21:28:03Z")
I understand about indecision, I don’t care if I get behind, People living in competition, all I want is to have my peace of mind. It doesn’t matter what kind of car I drive, I’m just glad to be here, I’m happy to be alive But take the shine right off your shoes Carrying, carrying the bedroom blues Shake, some action’s what I need, so let me bust out at full speed, and I’m sure that’s all you’ll need to make it alright. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-ive-learned-from-pop-music/365033.md?page=10)