# Lessons learned late in life. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2000, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028 "2000-01-21T10:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/1 "2000-01-21T10:37:00Z")
Never stir-fry naked. ## **\

Tris\** If I have not seen as far as other have, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. –\*\* Anonymous \*\* ---

**Author:** ![fuzzy-wuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b38774/32.png) [@fuzzy-wuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzy-wuzzy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/2 "2000-01-21T10:38:00Z")
Never lend money/do business with family members * * * “Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda ---
**Author:** ![Lemmon2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lemmon2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemmon2000)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/3 "2000-01-21T12:59:00Z")
Never have a hemorrhoidectomy without fisrt having an enema. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/4 "2000-01-21T13:19:00Z")
## Ugh… never read this thread right after lunch! Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/5 "2000-01-21T13:21:00Z")
Beer and cornflakes really dont mix * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/6 "2000-01-21T13:28:00Z")
…however, beer and _Cap’n Crunch_ rocks!! * * * “…send lawyers, guns, and money…” ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![Lemmon2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lemmon2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemmon2000)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/7 "2000-01-21T14:17:00Z")
Sorry Coldfire…didn’t mean to spoil your meal! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/8 "2000-01-21T14:20:00Z")
You get what you pay for. You only get out what you put into something. Enright3 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/9 "2000-01-21T14:29:00Z")
## No worries Lemon2000, I was planning on replacing that keyboard anyway. Now that I’ve actually barfed it shut, there’s good reason to do so 😉 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Bucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Bucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/10 "2000-01-22T06:33:00Z")
You can still party, you just need more time to recover. Bucky * * * Oh, well. We can always make more killbots. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2000, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/11 "2000-01-22T06:38:00Z")
## Never try to walk across a marble floor in six inch spiked heels Shadowfox “We are what we pretend to be.” - Kurt Vonnegut ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2000, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/12 "2000-01-22T06:53:00Z")
Always wear clean underwear. What? You learned that as a _child_? Oh, nevermind… ---
**Author:** ![Sevy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/db5fbb/32.png) [@Sevy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/13 "2000-01-21T20:09:00Z")
1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time. 2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she is pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment. 3.The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 1. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe we are above average drivers. 2. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal out of your birthday. That time is age 11. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that one word would be “meetings.” 6. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 7. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all ot its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hair style. 8. You should not confuse your career with your life. 9. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. 10. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 11. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who percieves a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 12. Your friends love you anyway. 13. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/14 "2000-01-21T20:23:00Z")
Never believe any promises made to you when you accept a job offer unless you have **every single damn one** in writing and signed. Bitter? Yeah, well, I’m learning this lesson RIGHT NOW. * * * I never touched him, ref, honest! ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/15 "2000-01-21T20:31:00Z")
Never take a bath in a barbeque. ---
**Author:** ![special](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/special)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/16 "2000-01-21T20:59:00Z")
in the larger scheme of things, none of it matters. life isn’t fair, but even that doesn’t matter. we’re all stronger than we think. the quickest way to a man’s heart is thru the ribcage. (thanx, chris) ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/17 "2000-01-21T21:54:00Z")
when your fiancee stomps away from you and slams the door, it does **not** mean that you’re free to go out with your friends to have a drink. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/18 "2000-01-22T02:08:00Z")
never get a bikini wax the day of a hot date. * * * If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle. -Spanish Proverb ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/19 "2000-01-22T02:14:00Z")
Meaningless sex is, in the end, meaningless. Effort spent upon the pursuit of meaningless sex is more annoying than the meaningless sex is enjoyable. There’s a lot of truth in the idea that when you finally give up on finding true love, true love turns around and finds you. * * * JMCJ Just confirming that my ass is, in fact, the wisest part of my body. ---
**Author:** ![Ursa\_Major](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a88e57/32.png) [@Ursa\_Major](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ursa_Major)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028/20 "2000-01-22T02:19:00Z")
When in England, never eat anything with the word “pudding” in it’s name.(esp if it also has a color associated with it) It ain’t what you think. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-learned-late-in-life/13028.md?page=2)