# Lessons you learned the hard way... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634 "2008-04-16T19:34:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/101 "2008-04-20T12:08:30Z")
Almost all bitches/bastards that you know are sweet people deep down - very few are bad to the bone. But it doesn’t matter that you’re a sweet person deep down: if you’re acting like a bitch/bastard, then you _are_ a bitch/bastard. There’s almost never such a thing as “a break” in a relationship. 99% of the time “I need a break” = “I want to break up”. Those warnings about underwired bras in washing machines are true; heed them. Respect your elders - they are the same as you, just in slightly more damaged packaging, with a hell of a lot more experience to back their opinions up. If you’re a guy with short legs, always hold your hands in front of your balls when walking through turnstiles. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/102 "2008-04-20T13:46:24Z")
Wear gloves when dicing especially hot peppers like jalepenos. If you do not wear gloves, do not go to the bathroom afterwards. WASHING MAY NOT BE ENOUGH. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/103 "2008-04-20T20:08:59Z")
Graduate school is designed to crush your soul and make you question everything you once believed about yourself (ie, that you are a smart or capable human being). That doesn’t mean that grad school isn’t worthwhile, but it’s far more painful than you’d expect. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/104 "2008-04-20T20:45:41Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] Average but hard-working will always beat smart but lazy. [/QUOTE] Hmm. I’d go with the near-opposite: “Spending ten minutes thinking about something before doing it will allow you to beat those who jump right in–usually by a wide margin.” Effort gets you nothing at all – results do, and the two aren’t nearly as correlated as folks think. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/105 "2008-04-20T21:21:50Z")
Never, ever, utter the phrase, “Well, I couldn’t feel any worse, what the hell!” (This phrase is often followed by a visit to the emergency room.) You **can** , in fact, be more lost. You don’t **have** to say anything. Really, you don’t. Sometimes you can just refrain from responding. (Wish I’d acquired that skill a little earlier in life!) When people show you who they really are, your job is to see! And the golden rule of life; ‘If you play, you pay’, everything in life comes at a cost. Everything. ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/106 "2008-04-20T22:13:42Z")
With nine layers of latex gloves, you can dip your hand into a fryer without ill effect. This does not apply to grills. ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/107 "2008-04-20T22:24:10Z")
[QUOTE=elbows] Never, ever, utter the phrase, “Well, I couldn’t feel any worse, what the hell!” (This phrase is often followed by a visit to the emergency room.) [/QUOTE] This reminds me that anytime someone says “what’s the worst that could happen?” something _really_ bad is about to happen. Also, the most dangerous 6 words in the English language are “hold my beer and watch this”. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/108 "2008-04-21T05:19:56Z")
Never click on porn links where the gender is ambiguous.\* There is an important difference between “two teens having sex” and “two teen **girls** having sex”. Bisexuals are exempt from this rule. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/109 "2008-04-21T09:56:31Z")
[QUOTE=TimeWinder] Hmm. I’d go with the near-opposite: “Spending ten minutes thinking about something before doing it will allow you to beat those who jump right in–usually by a wide margin.” Effort gets you nothing at all – results do, and the two aren’t nearly as correlated as folks think. [/QUOTE] Yeah, see I was reasonably smart, but extremely literate and articulate quite early: a lot of teachers confused that with “brilliant”, and at the tail end of the 70’s the best thing to do with kids like me, at least at the school I went to, which was run by smelly ex-hippies - was let 'em do what they pleased, which in my case was pretty much nothing. I’d get a whole bunch of plaudits at about how clever I was but was never actually required to do any work, and I kind of coasted along like that for years, figuring that I must be as smart as everyone told me and that sooner or later everything would drop into my lap and meanwhile I could be a lazy smartarse: Jesus, I must have been insufferable. I didn’t even make it through high school; I dropped out when I was 16 and went to work, where I swiftly learnt that nobody cared what some mouthy kid who’d read a few books and knew some long words thought if he wasn’t willing to pull his weight: best lesson of my life. ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/110 "2008-04-21T11:33:48Z")
Don’t waste **today** trying to make **yesterday** better. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/111 "2008-04-21T12:06:31Z")
[QUOTE=InvisibleWombat] When the woman says “don’t pick up the mountain lion cub,” it’s a good idea not to pick up the mountain lion cub. [/QUOTE] _fingers in ears_ La la la la la la la…_kitty!_ ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/112 "2008-04-21T13:53:31Z")
Always make sure the seal from the last oil filter not stuck to the engine block. It’s a case where two is definately **not** better than one! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/113 "2008-04-21T19:48:12Z")
[QUOTE=InvisibleWombat] When the woman says “don’t pick up the mountain lion cub,” it’s a good idea not to pick up the mountain lion cub. [/QUOTE] While I’m certain it wasn’t funny at the time, I would certainly have paid to see this one.. 😃 No, my sadistic streak isn’t quite a mile wide. as to the OP.. Mufflers stay hot for a significant period of time after the engine is turned off. ETA: Peeing on an electric fence hurts. A lot. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/114 "2008-04-21T19:56:19Z")
[QUOTE=Projammer] … as to the OP.. Mufflers stay hot for a significant period of time after the engine is turned off A lot… [/QUOTE] And a carton of butter microwaved on FULL for a whole minute will be hot and the butter itself will no longer be solid [sub](so if you absent-mindedly _grab_ the container it will spill all over you when the heat causes you to let go.)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FourPaws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e0b2c6/32.png) [@FourPaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FourPaws)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/115 "2008-04-21T23:40:52Z")
[QUOTE=The Sonoran Lizard King] Always make sure the seal from the last oil filter not stuck to the engine block. It’s a case where two is definately **not** better than one! [/QUOTE] I didn’t learn this the first time, nor the second time, but the third time.. I still didn’t. You think I’d remember to check the lil fuckers to make sure they are still on the old filter. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/116 "2008-04-22T02:00:39Z")
[QUOTE=FourPaws] I didn’t learn this the first time, nor the second time, but the third time.. I still didn’t. You think I’d remember to check the lil fuckers to make sure they are still on the old filter. [/QUOTE] At least tell me this was three _different_ oil changes. I’ve heard a tale of a guy who was doing an oil change on his motorcycle when he realized he had the wrong oil filter. So he drove to the parts store. On the motorcycle. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/117 "2008-04-22T02:21:12Z")
When your boss says “I want to see you take a risk, even if you fail” Get your resume up to date for when you fail. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/118 "2008-04-22T02:27:37Z")
Do not use booze in an attempt to drown your sorrows: All sorrows can float. Several can tread water. Some can swim. And a few can even perform CPR on their fellow sorrows. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/119 "2008-04-22T06:40:02Z")
Don’t trust the ferry schedule in your guidebook. Double check _before_ you leave. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634/120 "2008-04-22T10:02:29Z")
Never take a knife to a gunfight. (Imean that metaphorically- not literally). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lessons-you-learned-the-hard-way/445634.md?page=7)