# Let me elucidate something for you, elucidator... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 30, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695 "2003-08-30T22:36:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/41 "2003-08-31T16:23:10Z")
You mean if you post in the Pit and someone dishes out a ration of shit to you that means you’ve been Pitted? Well, that’s news to me. Is this an entirely unique interpretation you’ve decided to share with us? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/42 "2003-08-31T16:26:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*Do I serve refreshments? And what tone to take with a clueless OP, snide derision or avuncular indulgence? \*\* It’s tricky business. You need to take a multi-pronged approach: 1st prong - Consideration. You don’t want to appear defensive. That would show weakness, and you will be piled on and psychically destroyed. You must demonstrate yourself willing to accept criticisism at face value without retaliation. Otherwise it will be simply be assumed that you are just lashing out because you have been attacked. So for the consideration phase of your response, you are required to weight the merits of the complaint that have brought you to the pit. You must weight it with a prejudice against yourself so that you appear balanced and are making every effort to understand and accept the criticism. If you do this properly, in dissecting the criticism it will start to look petty and you will start to look big. 2nd Prong - Concession - You have been pitted. People who oon’t like you or who hold grudges are going to come to get you. You **do** need to serve refreshments, except that it’s you that has to be the appetizer. You must concede a flaw to appease these fellows who have showed up your roasting. What kind of flaw? Think of it as a job interview type flaw when they ask you “What’s your big biggest flaw?” You don’t tell them “I am a lazy careless prick prone to gossip who just likes to make trouble,” that would be stupid. You have to give them a good flaw Something like “I care too much.” You know what I mean, here. 3rd Prong -Questioning of Motives - This is my favorite. This is where you ask “What’s the real reason you have pitted me?” This allows you to attack the other person’s character and insult them under the guise of looking for answers. “Are you really just upset with me because I’ve been boinking your girlfriend? That’s it, isn’t it?” Take your time and have fun with this prong. 4th Prong -Dismissal- I’m not sure why this is important, but it is customary after completing all the previous prongs to say that you have wasted your time in doing so, so baseless are the accusations. If you want to lay it on thick you can lament the pitter’s ineptitude. “This is just pathetic. Is this the best you can do? I for one am disapointed. Boy, I remember back in the day when I used to get pitted by formiddable adversaries and I’d end up crying and broken for days over the new asshole I’d had ripped for me.” 5th Prong - Thanking of Supporters - It’s important to do this even if nobody’s supporting you. You can invoke the unseen lurkers who “know the truth,” or quote all the “supportive emails” you’ve been sent on the sly. But these last two are only necessary if you’re really getting shellacked. 6th Prong - Holding Back the Dogs - This is where you show your magnanimity by seeming to hold back your supporters who are attacking the pittee. “Please, stop for attacking him for pitting me. It’s not his fault that he’s a stupid ignorant fool.” This makes you appear generous and kind in the face of hostility while allowing you to get one last dig. And that’s it. Execute all six prongs and you’re guarranteed to turn any pit thread into a post count party. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/43 "2003-08-31T16:46:11Z")
15 yards, sportsmanlike conduct. Pip, pip! Good show, that. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/44 "2003-08-31T17:51:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*After you post some asinine OP in the Pit, the thread will drift away from the OP and focus on your many obvious deficiencies in both rhetoric and understanding. \*\* …this is just annoying sometimes. I disliked when it happened in december’s threads because it often stifled real discussion, and in the course of reading heaps of people all patiently explaining to december that he was an idiot and a fucktard and a troll, I became convinced that he was really none of them. Some of his _detractors_, on the other hand… Moral: things like that can backfire. I think **elucidator** is un-Pittable. It merely showcases his talent. Besides that, I think he’s a person of very strong beliefs in a manner that approaches some secular religion, and we know how effective reason and logic are against deeply held beliefs. And thirdly, he a Texan, despite being from Minnesota. Texans take a perverse kind of pride in messing with the rest of the country (no matter where they live.) I don’t know why this is. I wasn’t going to say anything, but it seems this is a first official Pitting. I’ve never been to one of those… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/45 "2003-08-31T18:18:41Z")
> [@](#): > > …And thirdly, he a Texan, despite being from Minnesota… We prefer the term “recovering Texan”. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/46 "2003-09-01T15:30:10Z")
Elucidator is elucidated who shall diselucidate him? The diselucidator who could diselucidate him would have to be a great diselucidator. . . . (I don’t know what that means.) ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/47 "2003-09-01T18:00:20Z")
> [@](#): > > (I don’t know what that means.) It means that your poetic license has expired 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/96bed5/32.png) [@Fang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fang)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/48 "2003-09-01T19:13:47Z")
What amazes me is that **elucidator** has gone through this entire thread without once uttering the phrases “President Rove”, “Fearless Misleader”, “turd sundae”, or “Saddam bin Laden”. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/49 "2003-09-01T19:39:31Z")
Well, they weren’t called for, **Fang** , since the subject of our utterly asinine and brain-dead foreign policy didn’t really come up. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/50 "2003-09-02T00:23:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > \*\*Yeah, that bastard right-wing nutball. Get back to Free Republic before we throw you out! > > And take that damn Stiod chick with ya. Is wring still here cos she can go to ? \*\* and **LC** gets points for correct gender assignation! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/51 "2003-09-02T00:29:01Z")
Yah, for pity’s sake, ya gotta get the gender right for an assignation! Sorry – just couldn’t resist. I’ll behave now. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/52 "2003-09-02T02:50:48Z")
Drag this man out and shoot him. I’ll swear out the warrant later. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/53 "2003-09-02T03:16:34Z")
Ha! I say: _HA!!!_ Can’t drag this man out and shoot him, said she smugly. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/54 "2003-09-02T03:23:29Z")
Burn her shoes. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/55 "2003-09-02T03:58:01Z")
You burning my shoes? I burning your pie! With my 1920s AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH… (Thud) ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/56 "2003-09-02T04:47:06Z")
Hmm…one hell of a pitting. :::_taking copious notes_:::::: ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/57 "2003-09-02T05:31:24Z")
The horror, the horror. **Red** , I’ll bet even your new doggie is cringing… I’ve seen better pits on Jewel singing the Super Bowl Anthem. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/58 "2003-09-02T05:33:33Z")
I’ve seen better pits in an apricot. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/59 "2003-09-02T05:40:09Z")
Say what? Oh, I see, missed a spot. :::\*of what not to do::: There. All done now. Thanks. 🙂 PS-Leave my pup outta it! Thinking of her makes me get a big grin on my face and I need to be **mean** when it comes to politics. Grrrrr… ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695/60 "2003-09-02T05:48:18Z")
Look really closely at Jack Nicholson in _Wolf_. Even his nose has better pits. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-elucidate-something-for-you-elucidator/198695.md?page=4)