# Let me take a movie-watching bullet for you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745 "2003-04-20T01:29:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/1 "2003-04-20T01:29:06Z")
I love films. All genres, good movies, bad movies, crap movies. I’ll watch them all. I don’t necessarily _like_ them all, but there’s not much I won’t try to watch once. With this in mind, I thought I’d offer a service to the SDMB crowd. Any film out there you’re curious about but don’t want to shell out the $3 or however much for the rental: I’ll watch the movie for you! You want to know if _Battlefield Earth_ is really as bad as the rumors? Was _North_ really worth Ebert’s scathing review? Why was _Heaven’s Gate_ such a famous flop? I’ll subject myself to these films so you don’t have to and post my findings here. Now obviously, I won’t be able to watch _every_ movie that gets tossed up for consideration, so we’ll do this by vote. Toss out some films (you can vote for more than one) and by next Wednesday, I’ll watch whichever one gets the most votes (and is available for rental newar me) and write up and honest review for it by Saturday. Then we pick a new film to subject me to. The only rule I can think of off the top of my head is no TV movies or straight to video stuff. I want films that have gotten theatrical releases. Think of me as your own personal Joel Robinson/Mike Nelson. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/2 "2003-04-20T01:30:36Z")
Surf Nazi’s must die… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/3 "2003-04-20T01:50:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CRorex \* > \*\*Surf Nazi’s must die… \*\* That’s a real movie? By the way, people, this reminded me of a good point. Help me out and let me know what section I’m likely to find the movie in. Comedy, drama, action, etc, ok? ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/4 "2003-04-20T02:12:38Z")
Can we just pick movies that we want explained to us and make you watch them until you figure them out? I’m thinking along the lines of Lynch’s whole ouvre, some Egoyan films… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/5 "2003-04-20T02:20:17Z")
Malibu’s Most Wanted. And then, after that Kangaroo Jack. Thanks pal. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/6 "2003-04-20T02:33:32Z")
You’re so brave. How about the UN-MST3K version of _Mitchell_? I hear it involves Linda Evans going down on Joe Don. :eek: Oooh, how about _The Audrey Hepburn Story_ with Jennifer Love Hewitt? ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/7 "2003-04-20T03:00:23Z")
I saw this once in a Blockbuster and never found it again, even after repeated visits. The name’s _Icebreaker_, and it stars a bald-headed Bruce Campbell as the bad guy, with Sean Astin as a ski instructor or something who stops terrorists while his wife’s parents come to visit! Oh no! It should be in the Action section. I’m ashamed to have let it slip by when I had the chance. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/8 "2003-04-20T03:16:35Z")
Umm, Mitchell’s out. 😃 How about Sleepaway Camp, featuring a death by curling iron? Or a fine Hulk Hogan production, Mr Nanny? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/9 "2003-04-20T03:21:37Z")
_The Blue Iguana_ This is actually one of my favourites; I’d just like to know that more than one person on Earth has actually seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/10 "2003-04-20T04:00:09Z")
**White Lightning** - sure any movie can be recommended and I can do my best to decipher them. **Biggirl** - re-nominate those when they come out on video. I guess I should have clarified that in the OP. **Guinastasia** - whatsamatta? Don’t you love me anymore? An un-MSTied _Mitchell_?! And IIRC, _The Audrey Hepburn Story_ was made for TV, therefore out of the running. **BraheSilver** - I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’ve seen it at Blockbuster and have already rented and watched it. It’s not Sean Astin’s parents that visit, but his fiance’s father (played by Stacey Keach, who naturally doesn’t like that “slacker” Sean Astin). It’s your average wannabe action film, best described as Die Hard on the Slopes without a budget, good dialogue, or good action. What really bugged me about the ending was: [spoiler]Campbell’s charater refers more than once to a videotape he has. We are told on this tape is the reason he is holding the resort hostage. At the end of the movie, the bad guys are dead, Astin has the tape (and its been a while since I’ve actually seen it, so bear with the fuzzy details) which somehow gets destroyed, so the world (and the audience) never knows Campbell’s motives for his deeds. Now I ask you, if you’re gonna cop out of telling the audience the bad guy’s motivation for being the bad guy (other than the film needs a bad guy for the _ahem_ “plot” to work), why even hint that there’s a motivation there to begin with?[/spoiler] So far, the list of films to choose from (or add to the list) is: Some sort of indecipherable David Lynch-type film to drive to drive me mad while I try to figure out what it means. An un-MSTied version of _Mitchell Sleepaway Camp Mr. Nanny The Blue Iguana_ Films that were suggested in chat are: _Freddy Got Fingered Battlefield Earth_ and an assortment of Pauly Shore movies ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/11 "2003-04-20T04:01:34Z")
I guess I should add that since it’s been a while since I’ve seen _Icebreaker_, if people want a complete review instead of the half-assed review above, feel free to put in your votes for that one, too. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/12 "2003-04-20T04:03:47Z")
[hijack] Timeline is the worst book I ever [started to] read. Having said that - the second worst was probably one of the roald dahl books, and I loved those (when I was young enough that reading them was appropriate) [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/13 "2003-04-20T04:08:13Z")
huh? how did that happen? I clicked on [Crichton’s “Timeline”: Another Jurassic Park?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=178251), typed the above post. clicked submit, and then it appeared here in **Let me take a movie-watching bullet for you.** I can’t decide weither this was a :smack: or a 😕 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/14 "2003-04-20T04:37:11Z")
Man, you mean if I waited a week I could have gotten you to watch **Monster’s Ball** for me? I don’t know which was harder to believe, that a troll like Thorton was supposed to be Heath Ledger’s dad, or his relationship in the movie with the female lead. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/15 "2003-04-20T04:42:35Z")
I thought of another one. Practical Magic. I had a few people tell me I should watch it since “well, you’re Wiccan and it’s about witches.”:rolleyes: It has IMO, the two most annoying actresses on the planet, Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. It has a scene where women dance life affirmingly around a table to an old song. It has Nauseating Cute Kids. It sucks dried donkey taint. It made me hate Goran Visnjic. Almost. Do Not Watch If Diabetic or After Eating. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/16 "2003-04-20T04:56:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > \*\*I thought of another one. > > Practical Magic. > > \ > It has IMO, the two most annoying actresses on the planet, Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. It has a scene where women dance life affirmingly around a table to an old song. It has Nauseating Cute Kids. It sucks dried donkey taint. > \*\* Sinci you’ve already seen it, it’s out of the running unless someone else nominates it. Let me re-interate the point of the thread for everyone else who may not understand what I’m after here: _ahem_ (bolded for emphasis) **The point is not to make me watch bad movies, but to watch movies that you’re not sure if you want to see and then get my opinion of it.** ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/17 "2003-04-20T05:04:00Z")
I want these movies watched for me: _Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies_ _Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot_ _Ishtar_ _Hudson Hawk_ I just want to know if they’re really as bad as people say they are. And for a modest bonus, I would like you to tell my brother to give me my tapes of _Forrest Gump_ and LOTR back. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/18 "2003-04-20T05:35:43Z")
Wanna hear something funny (kinda)? I’ve seen most of the movies listed here already. There are some real stinkers here. Ooh, I’ve got some - “Perfect” with John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis, and “Stayin’ Alive” with John Travolta (he’s starring in a disproportionate amount of these stinkers). ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/19 "2003-04-20T06:09:43Z")
Oh, come on, now! Hudson Hawk is a great movie. You just can’t be in a serious mood when you see it. I actually own a copy rewatch it every once in a while. What other movie lets you sing along with the break-ins? ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/20 "2003-04-20T06:13:21Z")
Why couldn’t you have started this thread sooner? Before I rented _The Exorcist III_ strictly on the recommendation of another SDMB thread, where people said it had some of the scariest moments ever? It was awful! _It had a car chase with an elderly George C. Scott chasing Satan (more or less) in the form of an elderly nurse!!!_ Anyway, maybe you can help pare down my netflix queue, with the movies that I’m curious about but keep pushing down to the bottom of the queue out of fear: _Event Horizon_ (either horror or sci-fi) _The Dish_ (comedy about some Aussies or Kiwis and a sattelite dish) _Yes Madam_ (action/foreign, a Hong Kong movie starring Michelle Yeoh who’s the only reason I’m watching it but it’s a modern movie so I’m not expecting much) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745.md?page=2)