# Let me take a movie-watching bullet for you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745 "2003-04-20T01:29:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/81 "2003-05-01T20:11:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*Wanna hear something funny (kinda)? I’ve seen most of the movies listed here already. There are some real stinkers here. > > Ooh, I’ve got some - “Perfect” with John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis, and “Stayin’ Alive” with John Travolta (he’s starring in a disproportionate amount of these stinkers). \*\* _Unsuspectingly, JohnT walks in the middle of the crossfire only to take this particular bullet in the ass._ F#$#in’ A, that hurts! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/82 "2003-05-01T21:22:10Z")
I’m curious about _North_ and _If Lucy Fell_. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/83 "2003-05-01T23:30:30Z")
CF, depending on where you’re located, I could lend you my copy of _Ishtar_, but only if you promise to watch _Showgirls_, too, as a serious satire. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/84 "2003-05-02T00:24:16Z")
I’ve SEEN Kenneth Branaugh’s complete and uncut version of Hamlet. It’s good. Not to be watched in one sitting, imho, but good. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/85 "2003-05-02T02:45:09Z")
I keep falling asleep during **Gone with the wind**. So, I’ve never seen it. It’s long and I always end up flipping to another channel that’s showing _Casablanca_, _The Battle of Britain_, _Sebastian_, or _Memento_. Maybe _Wind_ is a chick flick. I dunno. Could you watch it and tell me if it’s worth the time? Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/86 "2003-05-02T03:58:08Z")
I too am curious about North! I was hoping it would get some votes. I’ve never been brave enough to rent it. ---
**Author:** ![DataZak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@DataZak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataZak)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/87 "2003-05-02T06:32:05Z")
**Crunchy Frog** , thanks for the Exorcist II review. Add my vote for this weekend’s review: **Event Horizon**. All I know about this movie is the ship is possessed or something like that. Sam Neill’s in it, so it can’t be that bad…I hope. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/88 "2003-05-02T07:36:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AquaPura \* > \*\*Another vote for Crossroads, the Britney Spears version. I reaaaaly want to know, can she act? > Or is it just the bubble gum packaging… \*\* I’ve seen _Crossroads_, and Britney can kind of sort of act, but it’s not like the film was a real stretch for her or anything. I won’t bother with the spoiler boxes for this film, so if you really don’t want to know, skip ahead. The film opens with Britney dancing around in her underwear singing to one of Madonna’s song. For those of you watching the film for, uh, “research” purposes, you can stop watching the film after this point. For the masochists, don’t worry, the film gets worse. It’s graduation day for Britney and her high school friends. Britney is valedictorian, and isn’t sure what she wants to do with her life (dad, played by actor-turned-whore Dan Ackroyd says Brit’s going to college to be an accountant or something). They do the whole graduation thing, and afterwards, Brit’s slips off to a hotel room to be with her geeky “boyfriend.” They made a deal to shed their virginities on this night. Well, dude get’s naked, Brit’s get’s to her undies (but you don’t get to see much), and Brit’s has a change of heart, bails on dude, and goes off to this tree where her and her girlfriends buried a “box of dreams.” They’re all there, waiting for Brits, even their one girlfriend who’s pregnant and had kind of fallen away from the group. They dig up the box, laugh at the memories, and then for reasons not exactly clear, all decide to go to California. (One of the girlfriends has a finace in CA, this becomes important later.) So, they hitch a ride with this dude, that they barely know, and start driving. The car breaks down in New Orleans, and costs more money to repair than they can afford. (Mind you, the repair costs in the film are _waaaay_ higher than they would be in real life.) So, they find this bar that has a karoke night, enter the contest, and the girl that’s supposed to be the lead singer, chickens out, and Brit’s has to do it (big surprise, huh?). They win the contest (an even bigger surprise!), and get more than enough money to travel cross country (the biggest surprise of all). They keep going, and even though I’ve never been out West, I noticed shifting geography going on. Brit’s sings a song at one point, and then they end up in California. They all go to surprise the one girlfriend’s fiance and when they get there, they find out that he’s been cheating on her! Even worse, they find out that he’s the father of the baby they’re girlfriend’s carrying, and most worst of all, that the child’s a product of rape! Pregnant girl is so shocked about finding out that her best friend’s fiance is the father of her baby, she falls down some stairs, has a miscarriage, and then they all go to the beach, and bury a new box of dreams! (Oh yeah, the whore, Ackroyd shows up again, has an argument with his daughter, realizes that she has to follow her dream of being a singer and tells her to go for it. Brit’s also enters some contest and wins it.) That’s it. That’s the movie in a nutshell. No mention of what happens to sleezeball fiance, or half a dozen other plot threads they leave hanging, and at no point does Brit’s do the nasty with anyone. (Oh yeah, she meets her real mom in the movie, finds out mom’s a bitch, and goes on.) Not the worst film I’ve seen, but pretty close. Some of the special features are pretty funny, though. In every one of the stills of the black actress, her nipples are rock hard. In every shot. However, none of the other actresses have hard nipples in their shots, even when they’re all standing together in one group. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/89 "2003-05-04T02:41:52Z")
Dammit, I didn’t see **Tuckerfan’s** post and went out and rented _Crossroads_. Now I’m downright cranky about this. Oh well, I wasted the money, I have the video, you all are gonna get my review of it now anyway. Well, not right now, but after I watch it. So because of this situation, can someone drop me an email (addy is available through the link below) if you’re gonna do a review of one of the movies on the list? I check my email daily, so that way I’ll be sure to know not to waste money renting a movie that’s already been reviewed. The new list (with some bumped off because I cannot find them): 3 votes for North 2 votes for Hudson Hawk 2 votes for Battlefield Earth 2 votes for Event Horizon And the rest of the list: The Blue Iguana Showgirls Gone With the Wind The Dish Yes Madam Freddy Got Fingered Perfect Staying Alive The Adjuster The Monster That Challenged the World Son in Law Oscar Dancer in the dark Heaven’s Gate If Lucy Fell Cool As Ice Burn, Hollywood, Burn Supernova Casino Royale Waterworld ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/90 "2003-05-04T02:50:27Z")
PS to the above post - **Tuckerfan** - you owe me $3 for the rental charge of _Crossroads_. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/91 "2003-05-04T03:07:17Z")
“Gone With Wind”-too long “Casablanca”-bad mood when seeing it, overrated ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/92 "2003-05-04T10:28:10Z")
I like North. It’s decidedly odd and therefore fun. This probably means nobody else would like it. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/93 "2003-05-04T15:56:28Z")
I have seen **Dancer in the Dark** , as have many of my friends, and I think we’d all produce about the same review: “ **Dancer in the Dark** was a very, very good movie, and I couldn’t bear to watch it again.” It’s absolutely heartrending. I sobbed for about half an hour after watching it. Literally. Sobbed. So, **Crunchy Frog** - if you do opt to watch and review **Dancer in the Dark** , make sure you’re feeling pretty stable emotionally before you do. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/94 "2003-05-04T21:38:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by look!ninjas \* > \*\*So, **Crunchy Frog** - if you do opt to watch and review **Dancer in the Dark** , make sure you’re feeling pretty stable emotionally before you do. \*\* Whoa, thanks for the heads up, as now is most decidedly NOT the time for me to watch any movie that’s gonna reduce me to a sobbing heap of um… sob-itude. Or something. I still remember watching _Life is Beautiful_, after a particularly stressful time and crying for nearly an hour afterwards. I would regain control of myself, remember some part of the film, and then start crying all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/95 "2003-05-04T21:52:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*PS to the above post - **Tuckerfan** - you owe me $3 for the rental charge of _Crossroads_. 😛 \*\* You paid $3 to rent that drek? Man, did you get ripped! I got to see it for free! Oh, and “the check’s in the mail.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/96 "2003-05-05T07:48:36Z")
Ok, review #2 is up. It’s [Crossroads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=181853) starring Brittany Spears. Enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/97 "2003-05-05T16:36:40Z")
I’ll vote for **North** this round. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/98 "2003-05-05T19:17:25Z")
My vote goes to **Freddy Got Fingered**. From all I’ve read, it’s a bad movie, but the comments are usually curt one-liners done with a snarl. I want to read a play-by-play analysis of exactly _how_ bad it is. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/99 "2003-05-05T21:15:41Z")
Another vote for **Freddy Got Fingered** ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745/100 "2003-05-05T21:37:38Z")
I’ll nominate: _Wing Commander_ - I am kind of curious to see it, but I haven’t as I have yet to hear anything good about it. I’d like your take of it. -and- _Robo-Vampire_ - I saw this at a liquidation store for $2.50 on DVD. I almost bought it, but I was scared the cashier would make fun of me. I don’t think I’ve seen it in a video rental place, so it might be a tough one to rent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-me-take-a-movie-watching-bullet-for-you/169745.md?page=6)