# Let’s merge and be full partners! Oh wait, never mind, you can be my employee. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598 "2009-11-14T22:52:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/41 "2009-11-16T14:25:34Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Is this thread still going? Well, I just started it on Saturday. I haven’t seen Moe again yet. > [@Iridescent\_Orb](#): > > Perhaps you misunderstood what was meant by “joining their firm” I don’t think so. The phrase he used to me a couple of weeks ago was “a 3-way partnership”. > [@E-Sabbath](#): > > The important thing here is to talk to the other subcontractor, though. Because if you two are united, he can’t play the two of you off each other. So get on the same page with him, first. Yes. We have been talking in much detail about all of this. His attitude on Friday was to ‘let it lie’ for a while, and let Moe bring it up if he wants to. Moe _could_ go somewhere else, as could we all, of course. At this point, I’m very cautious about entering into any agreements with Moe, because of what **Enginerd** points out. Right now, any misrepresentation he makes is his responsibility. I do not want to be in a position of having to run around doing damage control because of him. **Iridescent** , that is a good idea about a sit-down discussion, but I think, as folks have recommended, that I’m going to talk to an attorney before I start throwing too many things out onto the table. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/42 "2009-11-16T15:42:27Z")
What about the other subcontractor and you merging, though? It doesn’t sound like a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/43 "2009-11-16T15:46:01Z")
Dumb question … Engineering can be sort of an inbred field, especially some of the specialties. Have you given any thought to what Moe might say in passing to potential customers if things do go pearshaped? I have a cousin who ended up having problems because someone casually mentioned seeing him drunk in the day [on a saturday] and it did some serious damage to his Salt Lake City clientele… the saturday and hence a day off seemed to get ommitted and in a straightlaced community people do make choices based on cultural prejudices. In a field that is so old boy network … just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/44 "2009-11-16T15:58:45Z")
+1 to what \*\*QN Jones \*\* had to say. I don’t see any misrepresentation here at all; I see a regular business negotiation. If you are peers, you have to act like a peer, not like a person who expects to get a gift from Santa for having been good. I also want to say that I have had the opportunity to work with some of the finest people walking the earth and I would not enter into a partnership with any of them. State laws vary but a traditional partnership gives your business partners access and powers over your finances that even your spouse does not have. State laws vary on this point but I support the notion of your talking to a lawyer before you start throwing the word partner around. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/45 "2009-11-16T16:15:23Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I appreciate that, Q.N. You are right about women often not to step up and play hardball. Usually I’m pretty good about doing it. > > I meant my OP to come across more as a rant, than complaining or ‘pouting’. Maybe I failed at that too! Ha. It’s nice to finally hear someone admit it.😃 A three way partnership is a great idea. That is why ships typically have three captains. We elect three Presidents every four years. There are three popes. From what I’ve seen, there is rarely such thing as an “equal partnership”. Even if they are equal on paper, each partner often tries to dominate how the business is run. Really the whole situation sounds sketchy to me, based on what you said. You join as his employee, send your clients to the “partnership” which is really run by him, something something, and profit. At what point, when he no longer needs you, do you think he would force you out? “Moe” clearly does not regard you as peers. Ultimately what would be the reason for this merger? Are there some synergies that would develop from the joining of your firms that would make them greater than the sum of their parts? Or is it just a play by “Moe” to build his client roster since his partner retired? > [@aruvqan](#): > > Dumb question … > > Engineering can be sort of an inbred field, especially some of the specialties. > > Have you given any thought to what Moe might say in passing to potential customers if things do go pearshaped? I have a cousin who ended up having problems because someone casually mentioned seeing him drunk in the day [on a saturday] and it did some serious damage to his Salt Lake City clientele… the saturday and hence a day off seemed to get ommitted and in a straightlaced community people do make choices based on cultural prejudices. > > In a field that is so old boy network … just saying. This is irrelevant. The OP can neither control what people say nor what people believe. And I don’t see how it should influence her decision. ---
**Author:** ![hobscrk777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a6a055/32.png) [@hobscrk777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobscrk777)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/46 "2009-11-16T16:22:15Z")
Out of curiosity, what are the names of the companies? What field of engineering is this? ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/47 "2009-11-16T16:42:54Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > It’s nice to finally hear someone admit it. You will note that I am quite pragmatic, for a hysterical female. 😉 > [@](#): > > Really the whole situation sounds sketchy to me, based on what you said. Agreed. Many of the most helpful responses (including yours) opened my eyes to that fact. Frankly, in the cold light of Monday morning, I don’t see any reason to entertain the notion of a partnership with _anybody_. In fact, today I am dropping off a check to sponsor something at an engineering meeting this week; so that _my_ firm’s name will appear in the program; I will be attending the meeting and plan to be networking my fool head off. > [@hobscrk777](#): > > Out of curiosity, what are the names of the companies? What field of engineering is this? I’m sorry, but I’m not going to divulge that in a public forum. I hope you understand. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/48 "2009-11-16T18:12:22Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > It’s nice to finally hear someone admit it.😃 > A three way partnership is a great idea. That is why ships typically have three captains. We elect three Presidents every four years. There are three popes. > > From what I’ve seen, there is rarely such thing as an “equal partnership”. Even if they are equal on paper, each partner often tries to dominate how the business is run. > > Really the whole situation sounds sketchy to me, based on what you said. You join as his employee, send your clients to the “partnership” which is really run by him, something something, and profit. At what point, when he no longer needs you, do you think he would force you out? “Moe” clearly does not regard you as peers. > > Ultimately what would be the reason for this merger? Are there some synergies that would develop from the joining of your firms that would make them greater than the sum of their parts? Or is it just a play by “Moe” to build his client roster since his partner retired? > > This is irrelevant. The OP can neither control what people say nor what people believe. And I don’t see how it should influence her decision. What is the phrase about sharp tongues? You have never heard people sniping about other people they perceive as having done them wrong … I can’t take on your job right now, but, I _do_ know an engineer if you **really** can’t wait until I can take the job. I suppose she would do, I can’t say anything bad about her performance. Delivered with all the right vocal tones … :eek: That confidential old boy to old boy conversational mode. Think of Sampiros mother. So, how one disengages from the whole merger deal can mean a lot … women in technical fields put up with a lot of shit from the men in the male dominated fields. The attitude that she flounced off in a PMS fueled snit is amazingly common. ---
**Author:** ![hobscrk777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a6a055/32.png) [@hobscrk777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobscrk777)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/49 "2009-11-16T18:35:14Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I’m sorry, but I’m not going to divulge that in a public forum. I hope you understand. 🙂 Sure. Like I said, just excessive curiosity on my part. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/50 "2009-11-16T22:36:29Z")
I meant to add to my previous statements that I am also very concerned that no one has talked to a lawyer. (At least, it hasn’t been mentioned.) You should talk to an attorney to get advice on how to structure any potential partnership. A lawyer can clue you in to potential pitfalls that you as a businessperson just don’t have the experience to foresee. I see now that you are talking about doing this. I strongly encourage you to follow through with that. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/51 "2009-11-17T00:11:54Z")
^^ Oh, I will. I just haven’t been able to pin him down today! But I need to talk with him about another matter, so we’ve been trying to set up a meeting for a couple of weeks. Now I have this to add to our discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/52 "2009-11-17T21:07:05Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > \ > Agreed. Many of the most helpful responses (including yours) opened my eyes to that fact. Frankly, in the cold light of Monday morning, I don’t see any reason to entertain the notion of a partnership with _anybody_. In fact, today I am dropping off a check to sponsor something at an engineering meeting this week; so that _my_ firm’s name will appear in the program; I will be attending the meeting and plan to be networking my fool head off.\ That sounds like your best plan. It would be nice if you could keep getting lots of work from Moe and Joe, but it doesn’t sound like you’re going to be keeping all your eggs in that basket. For the record, though, moving from a business owner to an employee can be a wonderful move - depending on the details. If it’s not the right deal, it wouldn’t be. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/53 "2010-07-05T17:43:11Z")
As I was reading something else today I remembered this thread and thought I’d post an update. At the beginning of the year we moved our office space. I am renting one office and Moe is renting three offices in the same building. I changed my focus from Moe’s clients and projects to my clients. I also stopped working at the ‘away’ office so much, and started working on my projects from home most of the time. I’m keeping the ‘away’ office for several reasons but I don’t spend much time there. Since then I have built up my business such that I do not depend upon Moe for work. That is working out very well for me; I have a good backlog of solid projects and people call with new projects every week. I recently signed a contract for a six-month project with a large firm here in town. I feel as if I’ve finally gained control - as if I’ve thrown away a crutch which held me back from my full potential. Thanks for the good eye-opening advice in this thread. Ya’ll made me realize that I was waiting around for something good to happen instead of going out and making it happen. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/54 "2010-07-05T17:55:51Z")
Yay! That’s great news, **NinetyWt**. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/55 "2010-07-05T18:16:22Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > What an idiot. You should merge with the other subconsultant and then see if you can work out some sort of buyout with Moe. > > Just tell him that what his accountant thinks is best for him offers you nothing. And then suggest that he get a new accountant. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/56 "2010-07-05T18:17:06Z")
That’s awesome, **NinetyWt**! Congrats! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/57 "2010-07-05T19:49:25Z")
I’m glad the turn around has reached a point where it shows you are doing better. You’ve been having a lot to deal with. Yeah!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/58 "2010-07-05T20:19:08Z")
Much wootness. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/59 "2010-07-05T20:25:13Z")
So glad to hear about your success! ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598/60 "2010-07-05T20:49:56Z")
Thanks y’all. Q.N., your post was one of the ones which really helped me see what I needed to do. I appreciate your advice. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-s-merge-and-be-full-partners-oh-wait-never-mind-you-can-be-my-employee/517598.md?page=4)