Let’s play Heresy!

Cafe Society
81

The Goonies “R” not that great.

The first three Star Wars movies weren’t that great, either.

The robot in Saturn 3 really was pretty scary.

Disney’s The Black Hole was pretty good.

I liked The 13th Warrior.

I liked Burton’s Planet of the Apes, too.

The Sci-fi T&A anime Amazing Nurse Nanako has a really touching subplot. (EMOTIONALLY touching, that is. Heartrending.)

The ending of Colossus: The Forbin Project cheers me up.

Audrey Hepburn, dressed as a frumpy bookstore clerk in the first few minutes of Funny Face, looked hotter than liquid f*ck.

I thought that the Fox network did a good job re-editing Escaflowne for TV.

Marvel’s Wolverine usually has a really, really awful costume.

So does Batman.

82

I agree with you completely about Requiem for a Dream, BUT … and it’s an important butt … anytime you have an attractive actress do a nude lesbian public double dildo sex scene, however badly lit or staged it might be , you cannot be said to have wasted her.

83

“Family Guy” can be funny, but the people are so needlessly horrible to each other that it makes me feel like I’m stuck with my own family (except my family’s not funny.) the nastiness cancels out the funniness and makes it unwatchable.

84

The Lord of the Rings films would have benefited from being even longer.
Friends sucks.
ST: DS9 was better than all other ST incarnations.
I also think A.I. is a great film.
The Lethal Weapon (original trilogy) is surpassed by none.
The Godfather sucks.
I actually like the PC game Star Wars: Supremacy/Rebellion.
World of Warcraft is boring and the quality of PvP is poor.
The Office isn’t all that funny.
Bill Bailey is the greatest comedian alive.

85

Jack Kirby should have the first letter of his first name pronounced in the Spanish manner, for he was truly King of the Hacks.

Jim Shooter was right about the X-Men’s Phoenix.

(And it’s not heresy to admit that Superman could do anything Batman could do, 20 times as fast.)

86

The Bloody Mary is a crap drink for hangovers. The spices rile an already upset stomach beyond reason.

Dry white wine is a much better restorative.

87

Rachael Ray can’t cook and her voice is annoying. But she’s still better than Bobby Flay.

Tim Burton is a hack director who has one good movie to his credit: Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, which gave him the least creative control. His Mars Attacks! is the worst movie ever made.

Most classic science-fiction is crap. Tolkien is tedious. Heinlein is a gun nut with mommy issues. Frank Herbert is an incomprehensible mess. Harlan Ellison is a good enough writer, but he is not a witty racconteur. He is a self-obsessed borderline psycho. The obsessive feud with Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry is downright creepy.

Speaking of ST, Deep Space Nine is the worst of all the Treks. Yes, worse than Voyager. Keeping with the pulp vein, Revenge of the Sith is the worst of all the Star Wars. Yes, worse than Phantom Menace.

Dave Chappelle and Jerry Seinfeld not only had bad TV shows, their standup isn’t good either. Cheers and Frazier were never any good.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks is better than Mary Poppins.

Family Guy is derivative crap except for Brian the dog.

South Park is abominable. Poorly written, poorly executed, revolting to the core. And it is very, very biased towards libertarian politics. Few people realize that.

Nickelodeon’s best series right now is Chalk Zone. Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends is not just the best show on Cartoon Network, it’s the best show on TV, period.

Looking back, the best sitcom of the '80s was The Golden Girls.

Thai food is quite good. Korea and the Phillipines do not get the culinary respect they deserve. There should be more Russian restaurants as well.

88

What did Jim Shooter have to say about the Phoenix?

Kiss are the worst band in history. Pure marketing with no talent. The Kiss Army is so disgustingly cynical that it makes me weep.

Batman is a terrible, terrible character that prevents one from suspending disbelief. He would last about 2 minutes in a street fight even if prepared for 30 years.

The Family Guy is great fun but its just the Simpsons without the cleverness or intelligence.

NASCAR is fixed.

89

Orchestra conductors are useless.

90

Except for the cutoff! We can do everything together but the cutoff. :wink:

91

I liked Star Trek 5 better than Star Trek 4.

92

Fight Club was whiny adolescent philosophy dressed as an action movie dressed as pretentious drek.

Napoleon Dynamite represents everything that’s wrong with mainstream youth culture today; spoon-fed, commercial revolution with no real end other than the propagation of its own catchphrases. Plus, it’s nigh-on unwatchable.

All philosophical differences aside (and there are many), Ayn Rand only managed to write one readable piece of literature in her entire life. That was Anthem. And it was short.

The Lord of the Rings movies are immeasurably superior to the books in terms of entertainment and quality; the only redeeming quality of the books is the effort and precision that JRRT put into creating the various languages.

Hot Topic is the most mainstream store at the mall, and deserves to burn to the ground for its promotion of Napoleon Dynamite’s new set of cultural memes.

Anime is cartoons. Entertaining, yes. . .and occasionally somewhat deep. . .but cartoons. And the new generation of cartoons, the ones where the style is American-Meets-Anime-Meets-Thirteen-Year-Old-Fan-Girl-Drawings, are crap. Except for Megas XLR, which is the only one that seems to understand that it’s a freakin’ cartoon! Megas freakin’ rocks.

93

Dear Psycho Pirate,
Dont you blasphem in here. Heretic!

Here’s mine…
The Who were better than Led Zeppelin.

*Fargo * is the Coen brothers worst movie (Ladykillers excepted, of course).

The DH rule results in better baseball.

*South Park * is a much better show than Family Guy.
And yet I remain a leftist. Maybe my world view isnt all that affected by a cartoon. Go figure.

Bob Marley is the most overrated musician I can think of,
Shawshank Redemtion the most overrated movie.

94

Good god, who doubts that?

95

90% of the people I went to school with. I know its not me against the world on this one, but they were so vehement it sticks in my mind.

96

The Lord of the Ring books are really boring. The fact that they were able to make three entertaining films based on the books is amazing.

MTV and VH1 need to either change their names or start playing music. When they only play one hour of music a day, it’s time for a change. Start another channel devoted to crappy reality programs and derivative pop culture commentary programs starring D-list celebrities and give me back my music, dammit!

The Harry Potter books represent everything that’s wrong with American culture. The fact that teenagers and adults who find it taxing to read an entire magazine go nuts over a mediocre childrens book goes to show how undervalued and unimportant intellectuallism is to the majority of the US population. The fact that teenagers who can barely handle reading books assigned for their classes feel proud of themselves because they read HP makes me sick. I might feel differently if HP inspired people to read more, but they don’t read anything new and just read HP over and over and over again. To top it all off, there are dozens of excellent sci-fi/fantasy books that are a hundred times better than HP, and yet these idiots can’t bring themselves to read anything else.

97

Okay, you and me, outside, right now.

This signifies international conflict!

98

The Matrix was not deep.

99

Gene Roddenberry was not a visionary. His “vision” was a naive utopia where magical technologies eliminated poverty and human need, and people abandoned tens of thousands of years of selfishness and tribalism virtually overnight. Star Trek succeeded in spite of his vision, not because of it. The episodes that were most influenced by Roddenberry are the ones that are remembered as unwatchable dreck. (ie, that one Next Generation episode where they find the cryoship with people from late-20th Century Earth, and spend the whole episode showing these people in the worst possible light.) The best episodes were the ones where someone whacked Gene over the head with a wet trout and locked him a janitor’s closet while they wrote episodes that were, you know, entertaining.

Saturday Night Live should win an award for the “Show That Has Survived Longest Based on Nothing More Than Hype.” No other comedy show has run for so long, while yielding so little entertainment.

100

Frank Zappa was a mediocre guitar player at best, (he couldn’t even sing and play at the same time, because he had to keep looking at his hands!) and an even worse composer. Hot Rats is a perfect showcase of both of these shortcomings.

Soccer is the worst of all sports, and as such it should only be played by small children. Real sports are either strategically deep, blindingly fast, or brutally violent. Soccer is none of those things.
Hey, this is fun! After reading the thread, I’m confused about who is posting sincerely, and who is posting ironically. (Except for that Who/Zeppelin comment. Like Biffy, I had no idea there was any doubt.) Perhaps the confusion is good.

Anyway, as an exercise for the reader, see if you can guess which of my heresies is sincer, and which is ironic.