# Let the holiday mini rants begin **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 22, 2009, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501 "2009-11-22T05:08:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/201 "2009-12-03T17:29:17Z")
I got my first glurgy Christmas email today, courtesy of one of the ladies here at work. It’s actually one of the better ones I’ve seen; it’s phrased as a letter from Jesus, and basically says “Hey, I’m God, I can take care of myself”. There are a few bizarre things in there though; apparently, Jesus doesn’t want you shopping at a store on Sunday if the store’s clerks are under orders from management to say “happy holidays”. Oh, and you can’t understand Christmas like Jesus can until you have kids. Yeah. This year, I’ve taken it upon myself to completely sort through the holiday items Mom has in storage, donating or disposing of things that haven’t been used in a decade or so, or have no meaning to either of us. Last night, I located several dozen saved Christmas card sets, mostly from the late '70s or early '80s. If they weren’t so yellowed, I would use them this year – the photography is hilarious. But, back to the cleanup…I’m pitting hideous ornaments that I’m not allowed to trash because they were given to us by dear relatives. They just sit in the storage boxes, taking up space. Grr. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/202 "2009-12-03T22:54:05Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > …I’m pitting hideous ornaments that I’m not allowed to trash because they were given to us by dear relatives. They just sit in the storage boxes, taking up space. Grr. Set box on floor. Stomp it flat. Toss box. If anyone ever asks about any of them (and really, would anybody?) say, “Oh, I had to throw it out, it got damaged.” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/203 "2009-12-03T23:32:06Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > I got my first glurgy Christmas email today, courtesy of one of the ladies here at work. It’s actually one of the better ones I’ve seen; it’s phrased as a letter from Jesus, and basically says “Hey, I’m God, I can take care of myself”. There are a few bizarre things in there though; apparently, Jesus doesn’t want you shopping at a store on Sunday if the store’s clerks are under orders from management to say “happy holidays”. Oh, and you can’t understand Christmas like Jesus can until you have kids. Yeah. > > This year, I’ve taken it upon myself to completely sort through the holiday items Mom has in storage, donating or disposing of things that haven’t been used in a decade or so, or have no meaning to either of us. Last night, I located several dozen saved Christmas card sets, mostly from the late '70s or early '80s. If they weren’t so yellowed, I would use them this year – the photography is hilarious. But, back to the cleanup…I’m pitting hideous ornaments that I’m not allowed to trash because they were given to us by dear relatives. They just sit in the storage boxes, taking up space. Grr. So… Jesus had kids? Because that’s what I learned from this. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/204 "2009-12-03T23:50:55Z")
> [@Little\_Bird](#): > > Tangentially holiday related, what with all the invites sent this time of year: > > My name is Teresa. It has three syllables: “Tear-ree-sah”. That is how I introduce myself, how I address my correspondence, how my email address has my name. I am not Theresa. I am not Terri. I am not “Tree-sah”, although I’ll give that one a pass. It’s not that I’m against nicknames, it’s just that the only nickname there is for Teresa is Terri and I do not find that name sounds like me. On many occasions I’ve had someone address me as Terri and I have completely ignored them, not to be rude or teach them a lesson–but just because I didn’t recognize they were talking to me. > > I am also not Mrs **Husbands** firstname **Husbands** lastname. I am my own person thanks. I am to be called Mrs Husbandslastname, or Teresa Husbandslastname. Last time I posted this preference on this board I was soundly rebuked as some sort of control freak feminist, but I don’t care. Don’t call me that, don’t address my mail that way–I hate it. There’s also Tess. I like Tess. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/205 "2009-12-03T23:54:22Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > There’s also Tess. I like Tess. There’s also Tree. I came this ==\> \<== close to dating a Tree, but the timing just wasn’t right. I took pride in never having dropped any of the predictable jokes on her. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/206 "2009-12-04T02:21:05Z")
Tangentially holiday related only through possible holiday drinking. My BIL did jury duty on a DWI that used gingivitis as the defense, claiming the alcohol pooled in the packets. He’s a doctor and, well, not brain dead, and that didn’t fly with him. He convinced the other jurors. I’m surprised that anyone required convincing. I’m also surprised that a lawyer pushing that defense would allow a doctor on the jury. But damn - besides the despicability of the DWI, what kind of fucktard blames their alchohol level reading on their gums? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/207 "2009-12-04T03:27:18Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Tangentially holiday related only through possible holiday drinking. > > My BIL did jury duty on a DWI that used gingivitis as the defense, claiming the alcohol pooled in the packets. He’s a doctor and, well, not brain dead, and that didn’t fly with him. He convinced the other jurors. > > I’m surprised that anyone required convincing. I’m also surprised that a lawyer pushing that defense would allow a doctor on the jury. But damn - besides the despicability of the DWI, what kind of fucktard blames their alchohol level reading on their gums? A really, REALLY drunk one? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/208 "2009-12-04T14:29:12Z")
When I was a young lass (as in, before I turned, maybe, 35 or so), radio stations started playing the occasional Christmas tune in with their music mix after Thanksgiving (or maybe _on_ Thanksgiving); that’s OK. I’m good with that. However, here in the godforsaken part of WV I live in, we have three types of radio stations: Country (do NOT want!), Christian (DO NOT WANT!) and “mixed popular music from the 70s, 80s, 90s and today. . .with no rap or hard rock, ever”. The latter only has one station. It’s what I’m tuned into in my car (hey, I’m old; shoot me). Starting on Thanksgiving, they turned to _all Christmas music, all the time_. Aaaacccckkkk! Now, I _like_ Christmas music. OK, I’m still waiting to hear them play the Bing Crosby/David Bowie version of _Little Drummer Boy_, but in the meantime, I’m digging Dolly Parton pairing with Rod Steward on _Baby, It’s Cold Outside_ (I can ignore the date-rape implication lyrics well enough. . .) and anything by Manheim Steamroller or the Carpenters (Karen had _the_ most beautiful voice!) But seriously, do I really need to hear a _whole_ month of all-Christmas-all-the-time music? I don’t think so! Oh, and **Gfactor** , great move on the **Carol Stream** decision. Long due, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/209 "2009-12-04T17:22:37Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Set box on floor. Stomp it flat. Toss box. > If anyone ever asks about any of them (and really, would anybody?) say, “Oh, I had to throw it out, it got damaged.” That would work, but most of these are made of some kind of resin…it would take more than a stomping to take care of the problem. 🙂 > [@Zsofia](#): > > So… Jesus had kids? Because that’s what I learned from this. That’s what it sounds like; here’s the actual quote from the email: “How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/210 "2009-12-04T18:01:12Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > That’s what it sounds like; here’s the actual quote from the email: “How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own.” Well, if Jesus is God, and we’re all God’s children, then obviously Jesus is our daddy, too. Simple logic. That just sounds wrong. I’m glad I’m an atheist, that sort of thing makes my head hurt. For me, Christmas is about giving presents to people you love because you love them and it’s fun to exchange gifts, and convenient to have an “officially recognized” day on which to do it (other than birthdays, that is). ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/211 "2009-12-04T18:54:21Z")
My family has several annoying members who have been in recent years whining about the “War on Christmas”. “Its Merry christmas, not happy holidays!” They have even gotten snarky in the store with the clerk. Uggh. Seriously, STFU, you represent a religion that has historically used war to oppress other people, a little open-mindedness from you is not that big of a deal. Any wonder why I become a total scrooge this time of year. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/212 "2009-12-04T19:07:42Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > I’m digging Dolly Parton pairing with Rod Steward on _Baby, It’s Cold Outside_ which tees up my mini-rant quite nicely. _Not everything related to winter is automatically Christmassy._ There is nothing about “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” that refers to any sort of celebration or holiday, Christmas or otherwise. It merely says it’s cold. Somewhere along the line, everything relating to winter started getting labelled as relating to Christmas, even though Christmas is near the start of winter in the Northern Hemisphere and has nothing to do with winter in the Southern. It can get more ridiculous - at least there’s a connection between winter and Christmas. I have some Christmas music CDs which include “My Favorite Things” and “The Bells of Saint Mary’s”. How did those ever get on a Christmas album? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/213 "2009-12-04T19:27:15Z")
Sorry, having trouble reading your post. It’s all these damn snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/214 "2009-12-04T19:53:32Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Set box on floor. Stomp it flat. Toss box. > If anyone ever asks about any of them (and really, would anybody?) say, “Oh, I had to throw it out, it got damaged.” > [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > That would work, but most of these are made of some kind of resin…it would take more than a stomping to take care of the problem. 🙂 Okay, try this: “Oh those ornaments? Tragic story. I was storing them in the toolshed in the back yard, and last summer some neighborhood kids got in there with some fireworks left over from the Fourth of July, and they burned the thing to the ground. Thank God none of them was hurt at all, but everything in the shed was totally incinerated. I was able to get a new lawn mower at the Goodwill, but nothing can ever replace those ornaments. Sigh.” N.B. The above is just the cover story. In real life, you just throw them out. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/215 "2009-12-04T20:20:18Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > which tees up my mini-rant quite nicely. _Not everything related to winter is automatically Christmassy._ There is nothing about “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” that refers to any sort of celebration or holiday, Christmas or otherwise. It merely says it’s cold. Somewhere along the line, everything relating to winter started getting labelled as relating to Christmas, even though Christmas is near the start of winter in the Northern Hemisphere and has nothing to do with winter in the Southern. Actually, I agree. Same could be said of “Sleigh Ride”, “Jingle Bells” or “Winter Wonderland” (Not to mention “Let it Snow”, thought I just _did_ mention it. . .) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/216 "2009-12-04T23:04:25Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Sorry, having trouble reading your post. It’s all these damn snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. And you know, they don’t even stay on your nose and eyelashes - they melt from body heat. Course, you might get ice forming on your nose and eyelashes if you stay out long enough… I can’t find the damned mini-rant thread, so here’s my _rant du jour_ - we don’t need a blizzard every freakin’ Friday. Jim and I got home before the worst of the traffic today, but last Friday it took him five hours to get home (a 45 minute drive usually). The wind is just howling outside my window now, and the temperature is set to plummet. Welcome to December! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/217 "2009-12-05T01:54:51Z")
For the second time in a month, a critical issue has cropped up in my particular domain of expertise late on a Friday. And I go on vacation starting Wednesday. There goes another weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/218 "2009-12-05T02:47:16Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > which tees up my mini-rant quite nicely. _Not everything related to winter is automatically Christmassy._ There is nothing about “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” that refers to any sort of celebration or holiday, Christmas or otherwise. It merely says it’s cold. Somewhere along the line, everything relating to winter started getting labelled as relating to Christmas… I collect brooches and wear them whenever I get the chance. I can’t count the number of times I have been wearing a snowflake, snowman, or angel pin and been asked why I’m wearing a Christmas pin after Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2009, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/219 "2009-12-05T02:49:45Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > _Not everything related to winter is automatically Christmassy._ There is nothing about “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” that refers to any sort of celebration or holiday, Christmas or otherwise. It merely says it’s cold. Somewhere along the line, everything relating to winter started getting labelled as relating to Christmas, even though Christmas is near the start of winter in the Northern Hemisphere and has nothing to do with winter in the Southern. Well, you want them to play Winter tunes in the summer?😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/220 "2009-12-06T02:47:46Z")
Well, this is both a Christmas rant and a weather rant - we had to cancel out on our social group Christmas party due to the crappy roads because of the crappy weather. Heading out on roads with two feet of churned up snow and more snow coming down just isn’t something you do if you don’t have to. Bah. I was looking forward to this party. Jim’s work party is next Friday - if our string of Friday blizzards continues, I’ll be ranting about that next week. ☹ (And I have a nice, fashionable dress for a change. :mad: ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501.md?page=12)