# Let the holiday mini rants begin
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 22, 2009, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501 "2009-11-22T05:08:39Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 22
### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/421 "2009-12-29T13:19:45Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#):
>
> And you show up to my house with a gorgeous cake and breezily say, “sorry - it’s not gluten free. Oh well!”
Bloody hell! Does that idjit know all you need to do is use Maizena instead of wheat flour? Was she living under a bridge when you met?
> [@tumbleddown](#):
>
> I don’t believe I have. Long story short: my aunt’s husband and her entire social circle believe her to be white. She is not. Any members of the family who would disprove this by virtue of our brown skin are not welcome in her home in person nor in pictures.
That is royally fucked up ☹
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### Author:  [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/422 "2009-12-29T13:26:09Z")
> [@Nava](#):
>
> Bloody hell! Does that idjit know all you need to do is use Maizena instead of wheat flour? Was she living under a bridge when you met?
> ☹
Evidently not. What was truly disappointing is that she is always so grateful when I make things sugar-free for her. So you would think you would try to return the favor - especially when you say “i’ll bring something gluten free!”
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/423 "2009-12-29T14:44:41Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#):
>
> I just don’t get it. I know I’m being over-sensitive. But you really pissed me off and hurt me and I’m having a hard time shaking the feeling.
That’s really mean of her. ☹ I’m a vegetarian and I’ve happily cooked gluten-free food for celiacs, cooked meat for devoted omnivores, and even cooked a vegan entree and a number of vegan sides (thank goodness for Italian inlaws who think nothing of seeing olive oil in food instead of butter) for Thanksgiving. Sure it’s not easy, but being considerate and thoughtful is worth it.
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### Author:  [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/424 "2009-12-29T14:53:52Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> That’s really mean of her. ☹ I’m a vegetarian and I’ve happily cooked gluten-free food for celiacs, cooked meat for devoted omnivores, and even cooked a vegan entree and a number of vegan sides (thank goodness for Italian inlaws who think nothing of seeing olive oil in food instead of butter) for Thanksgiving. Sure it’s not easy, but being considerate and thoughtful is worth it.
Thanks. I guess to me, bringing in a yummy-looking cake that I can’t eat to my home feels like what a bottle of wine to an alcoholic must feel like.
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### Author:  [@Dusty\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty_Rose)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/425 "2009-12-29T14:57:56Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#):
>
> (i have never posted in BBQ Pit that I can recall. I just want to get this off my chest, let it go, and move on.)
>
> So, I go out of my way to make everything sugar-free for you and your diabetes. I always do. We had a fun email discussion about how I am gluten-free, you are sugar-free, and the other is a vegetarian. So I made sure everything I make is sugar-free and vegetarian friendly.
>
> And you show up to my house with a gorgeous cake and breezily say, “sorry - it’s not gluten free. Oh well!”
>
> And I’ve just been stunned. Particularly because you made a point that you would bring something gluten-free for dessert, so I planned my menu accordingly.
>
> That and the fact that even though you were our guests, you spent the entire time talking to the other couple and ignored us. What did I do? Did I piss you off in some way? If so - why did you come?
>
> I just don’t get it. I know I’m being over-sensitive. But you really pissed me off and hurt me and I’m having a hard time shaking the feeling.
I don’t think you’re being over sensitive at all. It was a mean, shitty thing to do. I don’t know why people do things like this. Really boggles my mind. The year I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia, I couldn’t have sugar **at all**. My sister got me a various assortment of Godiva chocolates. Then just laughed at me as I opened each one.
I just don’t get it.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/426 "2009-12-29T15:36:47Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#):
>
> Thanks. I guess to me, bringing in a yummy-looking cake that I can’t eat to my home feels like what a bottle of wine to an alcoholic must feel like.
I had a boss who had celiac disease, as did his daughter. **His** boss knew full well that the guy couldn’t eat wheat/oats/barley/rye or products containing their byproducts. What did he choose to give as a Christmas present to a guy who has celiac disease? Big assortment of various delicious cookies, made from standard flour of course.
(I made him homemade vanilla extract, from a vanilla bean soaked in solely-potato-derived vodka, as he did do home gluten-free baking.)
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/427 "2009-12-29T15:42:50Z")
I think some people imagine that any dietary restriction is just crankery.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/428 "2009-12-29T17:41:59Z")
My husband, who I love dearly and has many good qualities, can be really really inconsiderate. For the last few months I’ve talked about various things I need/want/covet. I posted them on my facebook, mentioned them in conversation, showed him things on websites, etc. I did everything but drag him to a store and put an item in his hand and say “Buy me this”. (this, actually, is how I’ve managed just about every other gift-giving event previously)
This christmas he got me a crappy knockoff of a product I use frequently that didn’t even really work properly. Then he tried to make me feel bad because “That’s the only thing I could think to get you for christmas, you are really hard to buy for…” Later, when we went to family christmas, he asked me what he _should say_ he got me for christmas so he wouldn’t look bad for not getting me anything. :smack:
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/429 "2009-12-29T19:50:48Z")
> [@Dusty\_Rose](#):
>
> I don’t think you’re being over sensitive at all. It was a mean, shitty thing to do. I don’t know why people do things like this. Really boggles my mind. The year I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia, I couldn’t have sugar **at all**. My sister got me a various assortment of Godiva chocolates. Then just laughed at me as I opened each one.
>
> I just don’t get it.
I’m starting to get it - people who do mean, shitty things are most likely mean, shitty people. Some of them hide it better than others, or you don’t want to believe it, but actions speak louder than words.
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/430 "2009-12-29T21:43:09Z")
You know, I can understand why people type “it’s” for a possessive – almost every other word they encounter that takes a possessive at all forms it with “-'s”. And given that it’s not quite obsolete to form plurals of numbers and letters with the apostrophe, I can even understand “orange’s, 5 for $1.00”. “For all intensive purposes” grates, but it does make a skewed sort of sense. I’m easygoing.
But the fumblewits who write “per say” for _per se_ nerdle by curd. If you’re going to use a Latinate phrase, no matter how thoroughly adopted it is, spell it right. If the people who write “per say” were charged $1.00 per write, cost donated to defray purchase of English textbooks, the world would be a slightly better place.
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### Author:  [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/431 "2009-12-29T22:31:00Z")
> [@cricetus](#):
>
> I think some people imagine that any dietary restriction is just crankery.
While there are people who use their dietary restrictions/issues to control the behavior of others, I think in both the case of **melodyharmonius** ’s friend and **Dusty Rose** ’s sister they knew it was a real health-damaging restriction.
If this is a one-time brain-fart on the part of **melodyharmonius** ’s friend, I’d advise her to forget it and move on. If it’s a pattern, I’d advise her to reconsider the friendship. **Dusty Rose** ’s sister gets no such slack (I’m believing that it was real laughter, not nervous o-shit-I-fucked-up tittering).
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/432 "2009-12-29T22:52:26Z")
> [@Polycarp](#):
>
> But the fumblewits who write “per say” for _per se_ nerdle by curd. If you’re going to use a Latinate phrase, no matter how thoroughly adopted it is, spell it right. If the people who write “per say” were charged $1.00 per write, cost donated to defray purchase of English textbooks, the world would be a slightly better place.
Eh, someday they’ll get their Just Desserts.
🙂
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### Author:  [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/433 "2009-12-29T23:23:56Z")
Its over! woot.
I feel relief, but don’t enjoy the weather.
For gods sake, one store has just put in their valentines displays.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/434 "2009-12-29T23:25:09Z")
> [@BigBertha](#):
>
> For gods sake, one store has just put in their valentines displays.
Remember, St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner. Better stock up on the booze.
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### Author:  [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/435 "2009-12-30T00:05:02Z")
> [@BigBertha](#):
>
> For gods sake, one store has just put in their valentines displays.
Don’t go to Target. They have a huge display of swimsuits out. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Dusty\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty_Rose)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/436 "2009-12-30T01:05:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> I’m starting to get it - people who do mean, shitty things are most likely mean, shitty people. Some of them hide it better than others, or you don’t want to believe it, but actions speak louder than words.
You know what, **Cat Whisperer**? I think you’ve hit the nail square on the head. Well said.
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#):
>
> While there are people who use their dietary restrictions/issues to control the behavior of others, I think in both the case of **melodyharmonius** ’s friend and **Dusty Rose** ’s sister they knew it was a real health-damaging restriction.
>
> If this is a one-time brain-fart on the part of **melodyharmonius** ’s friend, I’d advise her to forget it and move on. If it’s a pattern, I’d advise her to reconsider the friendship. **Dusty Rose** ’s sister gets no such slack (I’m believing that it was real laughter, not nervous o-shit-I-fucked-up tittering).
I agree with you. I know my sister did it to be mean, and I think **melodyharmonius** ’s friend did, too. I’m so very glad that I don’t have that need to do things like that to people.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/437 "2009-12-30T07:27:01Z")
Well, I’ve got my Post-Christmas cold now. I hate friggin’ colds.
(Thanks, **Dusty Rose**. I wasn’t just trying to be smart - it hasn’t always been apparent to me when people are being mean because they _are_ mean.)
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### Author:  [@Dusty\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty_Rose)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/438 "2009-12-30T12:38:43Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> Well, I’ve got my Post-Christmas cold now. I hate friggin’ colds.
>
> (Thanks, **Dusty Rose**. I wasn’t just trying to be smart - it hasn’t always been apparent to me when people are being mean because they _are_ mean.)
I’m glad you wrote it. Because, apparently, I’ve fallen into the “don’t want to believe it” camp, and I’ve FINALLY (after 30 years) taken a step or two out of it. I mean, sometimes, it’s just that simple, isn’t it? They do mean things because they ARE mean.
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### Author:  [@justrob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justrob)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/439 "2009-12-30T15:42:43Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#):
>
> And you show up to my house with a gorgeous cake and breezily say, “sorry - it’s not gluten free. Oh well!”
I know it’s too late but for future incidents the proper response is to “trip” while bring said cake to the table and drop it on the floor.
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### Author:  [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-the-holiday-mini-rants-begin/518501/440 "2009-12-30T19:18:35Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#):
>
> I don’t believe I have. Long story short: my aunt’s husband and her entire social circle believe her to be white. She is not. Any members of the family who would disprove this by virtue of our brown skin are not welcome in her home in person nor in pictures.
Wow. All I could think when I read the lead-in reference was, “Huh, I wonder if it’s something like Roth’s _The Human Stain_.” Guess I was right. ☹
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