# Let us concoct a scheme... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2005, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706 "2005-12-02T08:51:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/1 "2005-12-02T08:51:03Z")
…to get The Great Master himself to post here in MPSIMS. Why? Well, a brief search reveals he’s only done it ten times. Also, it’s not quite two AM, sleep has eluded me, and - well, why not? So: How shall we lure The Great and Honorable Cecil into frolicking through our fun- and frivolity-filled forum? Anyone know his favorite foods? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/2 "2005-12-02T08:57:09Z")
I just assume he is banned. There are banned posters who post more often. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/3 "2005-12-02T15:07:50Z")
Would the Master ever say anything that is merely mundane, or purely pointless? I think not! Those few times must have been when he lost his way … 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/4 "2005-12-02T15:11:11Z")
Maybe he was banned for being a sock? Or for being that which must not be spoken. He posts stuff and gets people talking but never replies. What were the ten things he posted? Is there any pattern to why he posted those times? ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/5 "2005-12-02T15:14:45Z")
We could set a big Havahart trap, and bait it with a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica and a red correcting pen, and beer. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/6 "2005-12-02T15:16:45Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Is there any pattern to why he posted those times? The one I recall was that someone issued sincere praises to him. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/7 "2005-12-02T15:42:45Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > The one I recall was that someone issued sincere praises to him. You mean him that is all-knowing, all-seeing and the Supreme Master of all knowledge. He Who Can get Away With Wearing [These](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/theygoboom13/IMGP0081.jpg) Not That he Would, But Could? He whose very breath speaks of wisdom and eloquence? How the hell would we go about heaping praise on him? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/8 "2005-12-02T15:45:11Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > How the hell would we go about heaping praise on him? 😉 [Like this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=316225). ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/9 "2005-12-02T16:16:49Z")
What we need to do is find out what Cecil wants for Christmas (or Chanukah ;j ) and after he posts it, well, then we’ll buy it for him. So Unca’ Cecil all you have to do is tell me what you want and we (Dopers) will do all that is in our power to get it delivered to the Reader in time for Christmas. Of course he is probably too smart to fall for something that simplistic. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/10 "2005-12-02T16:45:35Z")
All we need to do is ask the stupidest, most moronic, ignorant question ever…and then NOT ANSWER IT! **Ahahah!** Cecil will be so driven by his quest to quell ignorance that he won’t be able to stop himself answering it! 😃 So…can anyone think of such a **question**? ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/11 "2005-12-02T16:51:24Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#): > > All we need to do is ask the stupidest, most moronic, ignorant question ever…and then NOT ANSWER IT! **Ahahah!** Cecil will be so driven by his quest to quell ignorance that he won’t be able to stop himself answering it! 😃 > > So…can anyone think of such a **question**? Yeah, but folk will get an-gry. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/12 "2005-12-02T18:56:54Z")
Yeah, but everyone knows how much a hen weighs. I say we take **Ed Zotti** hostage and demand one million posts in MPSIMS for his safe return. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/13 "2005-12-02T19:00:08Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > I say we take **Ed Zotti** hostage and demand one million posts in MPSIMS for his safe return. > [@Head of the FBI](#): > > Plastic Man, as your boss, I order you to capture that menace Ell O’Brian! (The Above example still works if you subsitute Peter Parker as Spider-Man, more or less.) ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/14 "2005-12-02T22:40:05Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Yeah, but everyone knows how much a hen weighs. > I say we take **Ed Zotti** hostage and demand one million posts in MPSIMS for his safe return. Oooh, now this? This, I like. Hm. But now, how do we get Ed in here? ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/15 "2005-12-03T00:22:57Z")
Oh great and powerful **Cecil Adams**. Would you please grace this thread with your exalted presence? Never hurts to try. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kinoons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kinoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kinoons)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/16 "2005-12-03T00:52:27Z")
I just like the “perfect master” under his user ID. Makes me giggle every time for some unknown reason ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/17 "2005-12-03T03:24:09Z")
Wouldn’t it be cool if **Cecil** entered the Death Pool? ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/18 "2005-12-03T03:49:45Z")
Foolish mortals. I have a hunch (just a hunch mind you) that the great and powerful, all knowing master routinly participates in discussions and debates. I believe he does so under a different name (or possibly several), protecting both his identity and the integrety of the discussions (probably uses a made up location as well). If he did not use a pseudonym it would totally distract from the serious (ok, sometimes not so serious) work of fighting ignorance. Any post containing his original screen name would quickly fall into people groveling like - Watching the Straight Dope tv show was my first introduction to the Great Mr Adams. I don’t know if it was the information presented or the little blue guy (remember the little blue guy?) that got me hooked, but soon after I was reading the articles and books and such and spreading the news about this site. Over the years it has remained a constant in my ever changing existance, one that I hope to keep for many years to come. If I ever were to get the chance, I’m afraid that words would fail me, I could only utter a simple “thank you” to be echoed by each and every one of the teeming millions that read and enjoy and spread word of all media that the Straight Dope produces (get busy on those book sales people) but, no matter how humble or sincere, the words “thank you” could never truly express the level of gratitude that I feel. Mods, please pass my (our) sentiment along, and Unca’ Cece, thanks again for everything. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/19 "2005-12-03T04:56:11Z")
If **nd\_n8** ’s post doesn’t attract The Master in, nothin’ will … ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706/20 "2005-12-03T16:53:28Z")
If he posts, he posts. If not, I was still sincere and I believe I’m not alone in the sentiment. Until then a thought occured to me: I wonder who the “Other” 30 people are? As far as I can tell by mouse-overing his name, Cecil is the 31st member of the board (a little high I would think but I’m sure he has more pots on the stove than SDMB). I seem to be #56145, I wonder who the other original members of the SDMB are? Who is #1? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-concoct-a-scheme/333706.md?page=2)