# Let Us Speak of Salsa **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 14, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113 "2015-07-14T02:56:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/41 "2015-07-14T18:55:30Z")
My favorite salsa is a mixture of store bought medium with Cholula to taste. It provides a great blend between smoothness and chunkiness, whereas fresh salsa is both overly runny and overly chunky at the same time. (While store bought salsa is merely too chunky to evenly spread a lot of the time.) And the Cholula provides a great taste and spiciness. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/42 "2015-07-14T19:57:11Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Well, I hate chunky salsa, so all the more for you. (I hate anything chunky, including peanut butter). I agree putting it in the blender doesn’t work, but I haven’t found how to make the perfect salsa - mostly smooth, but not frothy, with texture and richness BUT NO FREAKIN CHUNKS. > > And slightly spicy, but not too much. I don’t want so much heat it burns my face off. I’m with you on this one. I’ve never liked big chunks in my chili, my fruit bowl, my salad, or my salsa. I prefer what you usually find in pico de gallo, which has diced ingredients. While there are a few store-bought brands I can stand, I’ve always hated the “Extra Chunky” (like that’s gonna sweeten the deal). ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/43 "2015-07-14T20:32:08Z")
“Extra chunky” is a selling point for us. Makes it easier for the wife to flick out all the onions. But the liquid part of the salsa should have some thickness to it, so it coats the chip with flavor goodness. ---
**Author:** ![nani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58956e/32.png) [@nani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nani)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/44 "2015-07-15T10:53:06Z")
I like the flavor of Serrano peppers and generally use them in my salsas. Just don’t put peas in my guacamole and we’re cool. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/45 "2015-07-15T14:23:30Z")
BTW, is there any acceptable/enjoyable way to eat salsa other than as a corn-chip dip? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/46 "2015-07-15T14:36:09Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, is there any acceptable/enjoyable way to eat salsa other than as a corn-chip dip? It’s great on fish. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/47 "2015-07-15T14:49:46Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, is there any acceptable/enjoyable way to eat salsa other than as a corn-chip dip? I layer it with tortillas, grilled chicken, cheese, and a smoky homemade chili sauce in a casserole. And bake it. I love homemade pico de gallo. But I DO buy green salsas in a jar. You can spend a buncha time roasting tomatillos, chiles, onions, and garlic and smooshing them up, but the end result isn’t terribly different from a store-bought jar. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/48 "2015-07-15T14:54:40Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, is there any acceptable/enjoyable way to eat salsa other than as a corn-chip dip? Omelet filling or in a frittata. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/49 "2015-07-15T15:01:46Z")
On eggs. On lettuce as a salad with Mexican food. As a general condiment. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/50 "2015-07-15T15:09:49Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, is there any acceptable/enjoyable way to eat salsa other than as a corn-chip dip? I pretty much never have corn chips around the house, so my use for salsas is as a topping or accompaniment for tacos, meats, eggs, shrimp, fish, enchiladas, Tex-Mex casseroles, chili, etc. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/51 "2015-07-15T15:23:32Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, is there any acceptable/enjoyable way to eat salsa other than as a corn-chip dip? If you are having your tacos without it, you’re almost certainly doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/52 "2015-07-15T15:25:01Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, is there any acceptable/enjoyable way to eat salsa other than as a corn-chip dip? The following are the approved, recognized, and legal ways to consume salsa 1. Dip 2. Main course. 3. Side dish 4. Eggs, place on top of (fresh) or mixed in and cooked prior to scrambling, in an omelette, frittata, or on huevos rancheros, added into quiche 5. According to the Barcelona convocation of 1986 anything that involves salsa inside of a tortilla is legal. This was amended in 2004 during the Gichaux culinary alliance meeting to include crepes 6. it may be placed under or above cooked protein as a garnish or taste enhancer. 7. It may be put on top of anything that is a shared dish. Once that’s occurs that dish must be referred to as “nachos.” Pizza is specifically excepted from this rule. It remains pizza. 8. It may be baked into meatloaf to make it better. 9. It may be added to anything that comes between a roll or a bun. That thing will then be referred to a “south of the border style.” 10. If you put it in a dish with raw shellfish it is no longer salsa, but “ceviche.” 11. Small amounts may be snuck into virtually any dish prepared any way, provided that dish is not a desert or confection. Salsa should not: 1. Be mixed into drinks, even bloody Mary’s. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but trust me on this. 2. Be used as or with a desert. Salsa a la mode, or Salsa chocolate cake or specifically verboten. 3. Be used as a wound dressing, an eye wash, to fight a yeast infection, or the way you would use whipped crime during kinky foreplay. 4. Salsa is not for infants 5. Salsa should not be injected intravenously, snorted, smoked, or baked into cookies to get high. 6. Salsa should not be used as a hair tonic. 7. Salsa makes a poor car polish, though it can be an effective degreaser 8. A small percentage of patients using salsa may experience dizziness, dry mouth, shortness. You should see your doctor if you experience any of these or an erection lasting more than four hours while using salsa. I hope that helped. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/53 "2015-07-15T15:36:27Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > 1. A small percentage of patients using salsa may experience dizziness, dry mouth, shortness. You should see your doctor if you experience any of these or an erection lasting more than four hours while using salsa. > > I hope that helped. Dammit. I was hoping salsa could get me beyond that limitation. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/54 "2015-07-15T16:41:32Z")
I’ve never had salsa in Mexico that had tomatoes in it, other than pico de gallo. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/55 "2015-07-15T17:42:56Z")
I tried some “Newman’s Own All Natural Chunky Medium Salsa” recently and it was sweeter than ketchup. WTF? Have we reached the point where all store-bought food has to be candied, like we’re a bunch of overgrown kids? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/56 "2015-07-15T17:47:56Z")
If you use ketchup, substitute salsa. Also. Avoid rubbing eyes or handling genitals immediately after touching good, hot salsa. ---
**Author:** ![CBEscapee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@CBEscapee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBEscapee)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/57 "2015-07-15T20:11:17Z")
Claiming the word salsa describes solely the recipe in the OP is like saying sandwich means 2 pieces of white bread with a slice of ham. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/58 "2015-07-15T20:43:48Z")
Exactly. The sandwich **also** requires a slice of American cheese! ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/59 "2015-07-16T09:59:40Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Big difference between green chiles and “bell peppers” though, at least in flavor and texture. > > On the subject of weird salsas, there’s a local roast chicken place (“Pollo Regio”- I think it’s Mexican-style) that has a green salsa that from everything I can google about it, consists of very finely blended cooked jalapenos, oil and salt. Sort of a jalapeno mayonnaise-ish/aioli-ish kind of thing. It’s awesome. That place is awesome!! The salsa you are referring to? You’re missing the key ingredient: blended avocado. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113/60 "2015-07-16T10:05:37Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Exactly. The sandwich **also** requires a slice of American cheese! With the wrapper left on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/let-us-speak-of-salsa/725113.md?page=4)