# Let's all try to be like jarbabyj! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801 "2001-04-21T20:08:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/61 "2001-06-11T04:43:06Z")
Well…uh…you’re all stupidheads! ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/62 "2001-06-11T05:25:14Z")
I always liked **spermburper** and **cumguzzler** myself. Those always conjure up weird images for me. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/63 "2001-06-11T05:45:38Z")
Okay, here we go: Let’s start with ass, okay? Ass-farmer Ass-master Ass-spelunker Ass-molestor Ass-face Ass-punch Ass-hammer Ass-hurdle Ass-jack Ass-snorkel Ass-diver Ass-mongerer Ass-pimp Ass-mole Ass-digger Ass-cracker Ass-trampler Ass-mackerel The list goes on, but you get the idea. Then there’s B, and you can use Boner, or Bitch, or you can use combinations such as Bitch-ass and Ass-Boner. Then we get to my favorite, which is C, because it has Cock in it. And savet your “Lex likes it better with cock in it” jokes, you’re not funny. Anyway, cock is the best word to use when making up little insults, because you have the oppurtunity to come up with things like Cock-mongrel (my favorite) Cock-washer Cock-monkey Cock-artist Cock-knocker and the much previously touted Cock-socket Let’s not forget the significance of “monkey” in all this, because “monkey” is so versatile. Both Ass-monkey and Monkey-ass work equally well, and you can add monkey to just about anything and it comes out sounding great. For example, you can add monkey the othewise benign “nun” and you get nun-monkey. Not bad. How about blubber? Blubber-monkey? Bwahahahaahaaaa! Cool! Now then, we could do the whole alphabet, but that would be, like the Speedo rack at the Big and Tall shop, a pointless waste of time. I’ll never forget the first time I read “sucking need-hole”. What a masterpiece! You too can come up with these, all you need is a little imagination. You don’t have to be quick, because this isn’t real time. You can take your time and come up with a juicy one, just like your sister at a Naval base. Just look at the situation and think to yourself “What (other than my cock) is insulting, short, and funny all at once?” It’s easy, just ask your gym teacher. If you have to, you can just watch South Park, and you’ll hear such gems as “donut-puncher” and “ass-faced pillow-biter” and “donkey-punching uncle-fucker” and “boner-biting ass-farmer”. Just to name a few. Insults are so much fun. My friends and I will just sit at work, trading e-mails trying to crack each other up with creative insults and comical diatribes. It’s a blast. Note: Don’t try this if you’re stupid. Anyway, I wish I could think of something to contribute to the mustache-riding bull-yanker of an OP, but my jizzmop of a pointy-haired boss just told me I have to go to a brother-sucking meeting. No, not a meeting for brother-suckers, but one that portends just as much nausea as one. So I guess I have to go now, you narcissistic necrophiliac gerbil-tapers! ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/64 "2001-06-11T05:45:38Z")
Okay, here we go: Let’s start with ass, okay? Ass-farmer Ass-master Ass-spelunker Ass-molestor Ass-face Ass-punch Ass-hammer Ass-hurdle Ass-jack Ass-snorkel Ass-diver Ass-mongerer Ass-pimp Ass-mole Ass-digger Ass-cracker Ass-trampler Ass-mackerel The list goes on, but you get the idea. Then there’s B, and you can use Boner, or Bitch, or you can use combinations such as Bitch-ass and Ass-Boner. Then we get to my favorite, which is C, because it has Cock in it. And savet your “Lex likes it better with cock in it” jokes, you’re not funny. Anyway, cock is the best word to use when making up little insults, because you have the oppurtunity to come up with things like Cock-mongrel (my favorite) Cock-washer Cock-monkey Cock-artist Cock-knocker and the much previously touted Cock-socket Let’s not forget the significance of “monkey” in all this, because “monkey” is so versatile. Both Ass-monkey and Monkey-ass work equally well, and you can add monkey to just about anything and it comes out sounding great. For example, you can add monkey the othewise benign “nun” and you get nun-monkey. Not bad. How about blubber? Blubber-monkey? Bwahahahaahaaaa! Cool! Now then, we could do the whole alphabet, but that would be, like the Speedo rack at the Big and Tall shop, a pointless waste of time. I’ll never forget the first time I read “sucking need-hole”. What a masterpiece! You too can come up with these, all you need is a little imagination. You don’t have to be quick, because this isn’t real time. You can take your time and come up with a juicy one, just like your sister at a Naval base. Just look at the situation and think to yourself “What (other than my cock) is insulting, short, and funny all at once?” It’s easy, just ask your gym teacher. If you have to, you can just watch South Park, and you’ll hear such gems as “donut-puncher” and “ass-faced pillow-biter” and “donkey-punching uncle-fucker” and “boner-biting ass-farmer”. Just to name a few. Insults are so much fun. My friends and I will just sit at work, trading e-mails trying to crack each other up with creative insults and comical diatribes. It’s a blast. Note: Don’t try this if you’re stupid. Anyway, I wish I could think of something to contribute to the mustache-riding bull-yanker of an OP, but my jizzmop of a pointy-haired boss just told me I have to go to a brother-sucking meeting. No, not a meeting for brother-suckers, but one that portends just as much nausea as one. So I guess I have to go now, you narcissistic necrophiliac gerbil-tapers! ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/65 "2001-06-11T06:47:14Z")
Tranquilis: > [@](#): > > Turdsmoker In my day that was known as “Laborador” – if you know Cheech and Chong you know what I am talking about. My favorite, although much more tame than some of those posted is: **Buttlick** Generally used with regards to other drivers. “Fuck you you buttlick!” It’s freeing if not as biting as some listed. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/66 "2001-06-11T11:32:51Z")
Oh, here this thread is… Pox ridden pig fucker. Thanks. Rue. (And Jarbaby, I’ll try not to be a lazy-assed, addle-headed, non-searching, e-mail lobber no more.) ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/67 "2001-06-11T13:30:14Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Lexicon_ > I’ll never forget the first time I read “sucking need-hole”. What a masterpiece! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who appreciated that one! [sub]Ya shitwidgets![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/68 "2001-06-14T01:42:03Z")
[closing my eyes so I don’t ruin them for life by reading this thread] **pus-infected cumbubble** ---
**Author:** ![pink\_kitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@pink\_kitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pink_kitten)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/69 "2001-06-14T06:58:17Z")
One that makes me giggle is calling my SO a **Buttfaced Killa**. It’s on the mild side, but has its own originality. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801/70 "2001-06-14T12:39:29Z")
What about “Cuntgrease”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-all-try-to-be-like-jarbabyj/62801.md?page=3)