# Let's cast John Carter of Mars **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 5, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686 "2004-02-05T17:10:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/21 "2004-02-07T00:24:16Z")
What’s wrong with my buddy “next door”? He doesn’t _need_ casting. I like him just as he is! Quasi ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/22 "2004-02-07T02:13:34Z")
> [@Rocketeer](#): > > Tall, not brawny, some acting skill, graceful, capable of doing action stuff. And able to look and act like a Southern gentleman. Gotta be Brendan Fraser. > > Catherine Zeta-Jones is getting a bit long in the tooth (altho still stunning). I see Dejah Thoris as being in her early twenties (Earth years). > > I think my dream cast is Brendan Fraser, Laura Elena Harring, CGI, Rob Schneider, and Michael Rosenbloom. Oddly enough, according to the IMDB Zeta-jones is 5 years younger than Harring – but to each their own. There’s actually probably a better choice out there than either – Halle Berry could do it easily enough, but your cast would look good, and I like Brendan Fraiser a great deal. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/23 "2004-02-07T02:19:28Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > This may be the first and last time that the words ‘dream cast’ and ‘Rob Schneider’ appear in the same sentence. 'Tis true, 'tis pity. 'Tis pity 'tis true. BTW, I apologize to all, I misnamed Young Lex, he is actually: Michael Rosenbaum and can be found at: > **[Michael Rosenbaum - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0742146/)** > > Michael Rosenbaum, Actor: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Michael Rosenbaum was born on July 11, 1972 in Oceanside, New York, USA as Michael Owen Rosenbaum. He is an actor and writer, known for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017), Smallville (2001)... ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/24 "2004-02-07T02:58:37Z")
Thanks, **Quasi**. I am quite busy these days, but, _sigh_ in the interest of accuracy (and if the money is right) I’ll sacrifice and play the part. As to the matter of Dejah Thoris: It must be none other than Ashley Judd! I know what you’re thinkin’, but wait until you see her in the buff and covered head to toe with a light coat of red facial powder. Yowza! Oh yeah, Quasimodem must have a part too. Perhaps Tardos Mors, Jeddak of Helium? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/25 "2004-02-07T04:26:26Z")
Depends on how you played it … if you went for a light comedy adventure, which is about the only way TO play it in this day and age (BTW, I’m not talking camp, just a film with a sense of fun about itself, like “The Mummy.”) John Carter … Luke Wilson Deja Thoris … Christina Ricci, after she’s had some breast augmentation surgery to return her to her glorious form she had before she had ‘em reduced. (You guys CLEARLY do not understand the important of Deja being zaftig … it’s VERY important that she have a smokin’ bod.) Tars Tarkas, CGI, but with the Rock doing the underlying motion and voice. He has a way of moving in a way that looks powerful taht would work well. Plus, the Rock has at least a mild sense of humor. Rapas the Ulsio: well, if Jim Carrey could take direction I’d want him for the role, but I don’t think he can, so I’ll settle for Johnny Depp in this role – he’d prolly wind up stealing the movie, though Ras Thavas: Jeff Goldblum I’ve been carrying around a story called “Dancing Slavegirl of Mars” for years which would be a humorous update of Burroughs with some John Norman thrown in, in B-movie form. Might see the light of day one of these days. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/26 "2004-02-07T04:59:49Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > JR Davies is too formal for Tars Tarkas, you need someone with a rougher more primitive qulatiy than he brings. Michael Dorn is a great choice. David Keith would probably also be an excellent choice (I believe he voiced Goliath on Gargoyles). Michael Duncan Clarke would also be a decent choice vocally. Ooh, I hadn’t thought about Michael Duncan Clarke! His voice would be great, even more growly than Dorn. Tars Tarkas _has_ to have a deep bass voice. And I’ll bet Clarke’s face, CGI’d as with Serkis/Gollum, would work. Would the tusks have to be real or CGI? ---
**Author:** ![yawndave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/43a26b/32.png) [@yawndave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yawndave)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/27 "2004-02-07T17:53:45Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > Haven’t read it, but I can’t hear “John Carter” without thinking of Noah Wylie. Me, too. I think if he buffed himself up a bit, he actually might fit the part… ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/28 "2004-02-07T18:17:16Z")
Good trivia question. What well known actor had, as his born name, John Carter? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/29 "2004-02-08T01:10:52Z")
Given the fact that I can’t cast my _own_ John Carter, I choose James Stewart! Oh. He’s dead? Damn! Billy-Bob? Naahh. Jimmy’s the only actor who could do Edgar Rice Burrough’s work justice. I mean, the guy (James Stewart) lived his whole **life** in a cloud, right? Love Q ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686/30 "2004-02-08T04:49:17Z")
Just thought of another candidate for the lead in John Carter of Mars Bruce Campbell. Perfect. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-cast-john-carter-of-mars/227686.md?page=1)