# let's clone jesus!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [January 8, 2000, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065 "2000-01-08T05:58:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@eggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eggo)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/1 "2000-01-08T05:58:00Z")
i was reading the post about JC being married and i got to thinking, (after also reading the column on the shroud of turin) why not clone jesus using the dna from the shroud of turin? you could even use a virgin for the birth mother. second coming anyone? maybe this is what god realy wanted us to do (not me, i’m an atheist myself). i mean it makes sense biblicaly (sp?), why else would we be “allowed” (by god) to figure out cloning?
your own little heritic,
eggo
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### Author:  [@Louie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Louie)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/2 "2000-01-08T06:16:00Z")
It’s impossible to clone Jesus from the Shroud of Turin because the Shroud of Turin is a fake. It was discovered by carbon dating that the shroud was made in the 1300’s and the red spot on the shround are in fact red paint.
Source : [http://www.mcri.org/Shroud.html](http://www.mcri.org/Shroud.html)
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…and remember, duct tape fixes _all_ your problems, big and small.
[Fun with HTML (tutoral) : The True Sequal](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Archives/Archive-000001/HTML/19991103-2-000302.html)
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### Author:  [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/3 "2000-01-08T06:23:00Z")
oh, come on Louie, if you read the Chick thread, you would know that carbon dating is the tool of the Devil. The problem with cloning Jesus is that he’s haploid–as evidenced by the Jesus H–(haploid) Christ. there’s just not enough DNA. DNA being the tool of the pope, so it wouldn’t prove anything anyway.
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### Author:  [@eggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eggo)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/4 "2000-01-08T06:25:00Z")
i beg to differ: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2\_275.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_275.html)
it says there is blood on it.
btw, i meant: why don’t catholics clone jesus? as they are the ones who belive that the thing is real. and they want the second coming right?
eggo
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### Author:  [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/5 "2000-01-08T06:30:00Z")
Let’s not and say we didn’t, aight? Once was bad enough, just look at all the trouble he caused!
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### Author:  [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/6 "2000-01-08T06:33:00Z")
Catholics! The death cookie! Pawns of the devil!
Sorry, but I got much enjoyment out of the Chick link.
It’s only scary that they feed that to young kids.
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### Author:  [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/7 "2000-01-08T09:21:00Z")
And what would be gained by cloning Jesus?
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I’m not perky.
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### Author:  [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/8 "2000-01-08T10:07:00Z")
Not to sound like a citizen of the lunatic fringe or anything (although I might carry a dual citizenship…), but it’s far from certain that the shroud’s a fake. The carbon dating tests were carried out in 1988, and by now apparently the consensus is that they were probably inaccurate.
New tests seem to be pointing to the shroud being much older than 13th or 14th century. I remember reading something on [CNN.com](http://CNN.com) last year about how it had been shown that it predated at least AD 800…but I can’t find that story on their search engine. Here’s some other stuff though:
-Microbiological evidence for the shroud possibly being old: [http://www.uthscsa.edu/mission/spring96/shroud.htm](http://www.uthscsa.edu/mission/spring96/shroud.htm)
-Admittedly a good theory on how Leonardo da Vinci (or someone from around his time) might have created the shroud: [http://www.uthscsa.edu/mission/spring96/shroud.htm](http://www.uthscsa.edu/mission/spring96/shroud.htm)
-And why bother cloning the DNA on the shroud? It’s already been done, apparently…: [http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/clone.html](http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/clone.html)
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### Author:  [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/9 "2000-01-08T16:58:00Z")
Even assuming the shroud to be genuine (I don’t, but that’s another argument), it’s highly unlikely the DNA could be used to clone. So far, the only successes have come from using live cells, not dead DNA and it’s unlikely to be able to clone anyone from dried DNA alone.
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“East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx
Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction. [www.sff.net/people/rothman](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman)
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### Author:  [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/10 "2000-01-08T17:44:00Z")
Even if you assume that cloning JC is possible, wouldn’t that result in only a physical body? Don’t most of us believe there’s more to us than that? How about the soul, or personality? Not trying to make this into great debate, but this is the problem I have with cloning in general. Yeah, yeah I know, we’ve cloned sheep and mice and maybe other “lower” animals, but since they can’t talk to us, we don’t know what they have in the way of consciousness (self-awareness)/personality/individuality.
Personally, I believe we are all unique with unique personalities, with intelligence and memories acquired only through experience in life, and that cloning an exact double is not possible.
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### Author:  [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2000, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/11 "2000-01-09T06:38:00Z")
Don’t clone Jesus. He was small time. The man to clone is Paul. He was the one who turned Christianity into an international religion.
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### Author:  [@RobRoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobRoy)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/12 "2000-01-08T19:10:00Z")
The theory that the shroud looks like a photo negative - cause it IS a photo negative is interesting (see link above about DaVinci).
Alchemists had access to chemicals that were used for light sensistive (disappearing) inks, and the camera obscura was a popular noble diversion. Put the two together, and voila -photo.
It explains the fact that there is no “image” of the top of the head, the fact that “Jesus” would have to been 6’6" to make the image by impression. And I’m sorry folks, it doesn’t look proportioned like a human.
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### Author:  [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/13 "2000-01-08T22:52:00Z")
-
-
- Your own, per-son-al Jesus? - MC
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### Author:  [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/14 "2000-01-08T23:07:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> why don’t catholics clone jesus? as they are the ones who belive that the thing is real. and they want the second coming right?
For the record, the Catholic Church has not expressed any thought that the linen in Torino is the shroud of Jesus. It reluctantly allowed some tests to be done ten years or so ago (probably in the hope that it would prove to be a fake).
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Tom~
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### Author:  [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/15 "2000-01-08T23:21:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The man to clone is Paul.
Sycorax made the point that I was trying to lead to. Cloining Jesus, Paul, whoever isn’t gonna do squat.
Do you guys really think that cloning Jesus would result in the creation of a pacifistic carpenter with long hair and memories of the good old days in Nazareth?
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I’m not perky.
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### Author:  [@eggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eggo)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/16 "2000-01-08T23:49:00Z")
no. but if the catholics want a second coming i don’t see why they don’t help it along. there would be no memories, but it would (in their minds) still be the son of god reborn.
eggo
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2000, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/17 "2000-01-09T04:10:00Z")
**eggo** , unfortunately immanetizing the eschaton is a serious sin. No true Catholic wants to do that.
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### Author:  [@Kelly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelly)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/18 "2000-01-09T04:35:00Z")
Wouldn’t be something if they cloned using the DNA from the Shroud and we’d get Jimmy Hoffa?
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How high is up?
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### Author:  [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/19 "2000-01-09T04:36:00Z")
With the DNA breakdown, we’d have to fill the gaps with amphibian DNA. Then he’d turn female and lay eggs, then we’d have Massiahs all over the place. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I looked in the mirror today/My eyes just didn’t seem so bright
I’ve lost a few more hairs/I think I’m going bald - Rush
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### Author:  [@Alan\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Q)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2000, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-clone-jesus/6065/20 "2000-01-09T06:35:00Z")
–I don’t believe the Shroud’s JC’s mugshot, but you gotta admit the darn thing’s interesting! Couldn’t help thinking (probably not original) that a “tabula rasa” clone of oneself could come in handy if you needed a transplant–I guess you’d have to feed the dam’ thing though. Oh, well.
–Alan Q
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