# Let's come up with some bad ideas! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062 "2008-06-06T21:01:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![phil417](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@phil417](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phil417)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/181 "2008-06-16T01:16:39Z")
Please all the people all the time. A soft tomato turneth away wrath. Love, Phil ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/182 "2008-06-16T01:21:41Z")
I’ve always wanted to try this; Wear black suit pants, neatly pressed. Black shoes, spit shined. Black socks. Hair very short and pin neat, combed and sprayed. No facial hair. Black wrap around sunglasses. Ear bud leading down to your front pocket, Motorola walkie-talkie, cellphone. …and a black t-shirt reading “Not an Agent of a Secret Government Organization” Walk through and around the radical anti-government or Environmental Extremist March, looking dead serious at all times. Occasionally stop, cock your head and touch your earbud. Turn and look at one of the organizers as you do so. Then proceed to walk over and shadow them for a while. Hillarity Ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/183 "2008-06-16T02:40:56Z")
Tickle the zombie to alleviate its craving for living flesh. Fart loudly and follow it with convulsive laughter. This will impress your date. The heaviest tools should hang over the edge of the top shelf. This will keep the shelves from wobbling. Be sure to test the stability of the shelves randomly and violently. Stop abruptly when walking in crowded areas. This keeps others alert. Don’t use turn signals. They spoil the surprise for other drivers. Get a stamp that says “Vote Ron Paul 2008” and stamp it on all of your paper money. This will guarantee his victory. Threaten to kill a coworker who reports your online porn on work computers, racist comments, and fraud to the boss. (This happened one time). When you see a guy with a positron collider, slime him. (Had to keep the theme going). If the monster is unconscious, seize the opportunity to get really close and examine its face. ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/184 "2008-06-16T06:09:58Z")
hold a presidential election. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/185 "2008-06-16T21:26:14Z")
Keep on bumping this thread until the moderators get annoyed. I’ll stop now. Don’t hurt me. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/186 "2008-06-17T06:44:26Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Keep on bumping this thread until the moderators get annoyed. I’ll stop now. Don’t hurt me. [/QUOTE] Ladle. Ladle ladle ladle. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/187 "2008-06-17T07:18:16Z")
Mix comet and bleach to tackle those really pesky stains. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/188 "2008-06-17T11:09:19Z")
Once more into the breach, dear friends! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/189 "2008-06-17T13:26:05Z")
Got a bald spot ? There’s a simple solution; strap a cat on your head. Everyone’s happy; the cat gets a warm spot to lie on, your unsightly bald spot is covered, and lots of ladies like cats ! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/190 "2008-06-18T16:10:02Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] Give your children conventional names with very unconventional spellings–you want them to stand out. [/QUOTE] HEH! Lessee… Djon Meri Pahl Tsu Peatre Salee Ylizibethe Jeeorje Mahthyu Michah-El (pronounced with all three syllables) > [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Mix comet and bleach to tackle those really pesky stains. Or better still, use bleach to sanitize your cat’s litter pan. In an enclosed space. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/191 "2008-06-18T16:13:56Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Now’s the time to buy land in Zimbabwe. (Random good idea: Now’s the time to send David Duke, the Aryan Nation, and the Klan to Zimbabwe. Who’d win? We all would.) [/QUOTE] Seriously, it’s a sad commentary that being conquered by neo-colonial white racists would **improve** the condition of Zimbabwe ☹ ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/192 "2008-06-18T17:29:00Z")
Go ahead and ignore that pesky check engine light, everything will be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Tabula\_Rasa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@Tabula\_Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabula_Rasa)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/193 "2008-06-18T18:39:34Z")
[QUOTE=Lumpy] HEH! Lessee… Djon Meri Pahl Tsu Peatre Salee Ylizibethe Jeeorje Mahthyu Michah-El (pronounced with all three syllables) [/QUOTE] You forgot little Varonuhkah. ---
**Author:** ![Pixilated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aeb1de/32.png) [@Pixilated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixilated)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/194 "2008-06-18T19:00:22Z")
Ask you SO to move in with you but continue to display your obvious wedding memorabilia from your dissolved marriage. Better yet - have your new SO display theirs as well, make a little shrine. Be sure to pay your respects to them - afterall, you wouldn’t be where you are today if it weren’t for them. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/195 "2008-06-19T16:31:36Z")
Speaking of love - if you’re given a choice of multiple potential love interests: Choose the crazy one at least one thousand miles away. LDRs are so much fun. They’ll be even more fun if you add industrial strength crazy to it! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/196 "2008-06-19T16:37:30Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Speaking of love - if you’re given a choice of multiple potential love interests: Choose the crazy one at least one thousand miles away. LDRs are so much fun. They’ll be even more fun if you add industrial strength crazy to it! [/QUOTE] Ooooh better yet, he or she should be married and have a child. Intense, heartbreaking drama makes for healthy relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/197 "2008-06-20T01:37:00Z")
You’re a high-level executive at CBS, and you’ve been responsible, in a large amount, for their success in recent years. Surely they won’t mind if you cut a deal with a guy who helped you in a scrape with mobsters. Three programs without any pilot by this guy (who had never produced anything before)? We must think outside the box. They all are large failure? Hey, not everything can be a hit. You received favors from this guy, and they were able to trace it? What are they going to do with your record, fire you? Well, they did, and your career never did recover. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/198 "2008-06-20T01:59:42Z")
Leave little cartoon booklets explaining the superiority of your religion conveniently placed on seats in libraries, buses, and malls. Religious conversion is such a rational, thought-driven process that passers-by, stunned by your logic, will flock to your cause. No-one will mock you or parody you. [QUOTE=Tabula Rasa] You forgot little Varonuhkah. [/QUOTE] That’s because Varonuhkah is actually a lesser-known Jewish holiday. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/199 "2008-06-20T03:14:53Z")
[Puke in the banana suit.](http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/10/3/111818/037) ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/200 "2008-06-20T03:37:18Z")
Found yourself a nice cheap hooker? Remember condoms are for cissys… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062.md?page=11)