# Let's come up with some bad ideas! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062 "2008-06-06T21:01:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/141 "2008-06-11T22:19:52Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Measure once, cut twice. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Does anyone else find this “bad idea” particularly disturbing coming from a veterinarian? 😉 [/QUOTE] \ Very nice.\ ---
**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/142 "2008-06-11T23:57:03Z")
Decide to become homeless. Just, yknow, for fun. Or research. Yeah, that’s it, research. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/143 "2008-06-12T01:06:25Z")
When you go camping in the wilderness area and find the place so heavily picked over for firewood that you basically spend all evening looking for enough to make it through lunch the next day, be sure to let the “Eagle Scout” throw every fucking stick of firewood on the fire before he goes to bed (creating a huge, untended bonfire), because he thinks it will be nice to have some coals to cook on when he gets up. Yeah, I was there. His wife and friends defended the idea. Fucker did it every single night. Eventually, I stopped worrying about gathering firewood and let him get it all. And made sure to put my tent well away from the firepit. Bet against a Sicilian when Death is on the line (and you are not a dread pirate). Ask Luke Skywalker where he gets his hair done, in a language he doesn’t understand, while your joker co-worker is standing next to you. 😃 Drive carelessly, speed excessively and maybe even have a few beers before you haul that big stash of drugs cross-country. Tell the police officer that he can’t talk to you like that and walk away. Put on your best bling, your track suit, your iPod on blaster levels and go for a run in an urban park at 3am. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/144 "2008-06-12T03:10:57Z")
The police are familiar with all kinds of weapons, right? They’ll instantly recognize that that piece of art you’re putting forward is only a replica, right? They’re sensitive, and will doubtless recognize that although you’re having a bad moment, that you wouldn’t hurt a fly - right? Surely the police will be so respectful that they’ve found a free spirit that they can’t intimidate, that they’ll bow to your superior reasoning, and agree that this was all a most unfortunate misunderstanding - right? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/145 "2008-06-12T03:15:01Z")
Since we’ve veered toward bad ideas with the police, something I did once: If the state trooper tells you he’s pulled you over because he noticed that you don’t have a front license plate, don’t say anything, just immediately reach under your seat so you can pull it out and show him that you have it there. ---
**Author:** ![williambaskerville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@williambaskerville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/williambaskerville)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/146 "2008-06-12T04:37:04Z")
On a topical note, be a very senior employee of the British Government. Decide to read a document headlined “JOINT INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE ASSESSMENT” , “AL-QAIDA’S CONSTRAINTS AND VULNERABILITIES”, and marked “UK Top Secret”, “for UK/US/Canadian and Australian eyes only”, which is so secret that each copy is individually numbered for traceability. Head home by train. When you get off the train, forget the document and leave it behind you. > **[BBC NEWS | UK | Secret terror files left on train](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7449255.stm)** > > An inquiry is under way into a 'serious' security breach after top-secret documents on al-Qaeda are left on a train. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/147 "2008-06-12T10:13:27Z")
Share all your best Polish jokes when Officer Kawalski pulls you over ( _Raising Arizona_ ) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/148 "2008-06-12T14:00:10Z")
Buy a house situated on a former Indian burial ground. Leave a loaded gun sitting around for the kids to play with. Trade Babe Ruth because of a short-term cash crunch. Invade Russia. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/149 "2008-06-12T14:12:22Z")
If you are in show business, start a massive campaign against “sodomites,” calling them perverts who sin against God and rape children. Make sure to mention the “homosexual agenda” in all your speeches. When your career goes belly-up, be sure to blame “teh gays.” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/150 "2008-06-12T16:52:57Z")
Advise George Lucas that his recent work has been too cerebral and serious, and that he needs to make his movies more lighthearted and kid-friendly. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/151 "2008-06-12T18:34:15Z")
[QUOTE=Uncommon Sense] Ok, now what? Is it supposed to burn when I pee? [/QUOTE] Just ignore that burning sensation. It will go away. Try drinking a lot of water. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/152 "2008-06-12T18:35:23Z")
Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/153 "2008-06-12T18:44:16Z")
Go gentle into that good night. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/154 "2008-06-12T22:03:05Z")
[ul] [li]Forget speed limits. If you need to get somewhere in a hurry the cops will understand. When they see you racing down the highway at 100 miles an hour they’ll join you and provide you with an escort to help get you to your destination more safely.[/li][li]Airport security personnel _love_ jokes. Tell 'em there’s a bomb in your luggage just for shits and giggles.[/li][li]Forget the elevator or the stairs. You’ll get to the bottom floor a whole lot faster jumping out a window.[/li][li]Release _Battlefield Earth II_.[/li][li]Go golfing during a lightning storm. You’ll have the entire course to yourself.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/155 "2008-06-13T07:56:41Z")
Don’t let this summer go to Wast! Learn Klingon! ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/156 "2008-06-13T09:05:45Z")
Don’t file or pay taxes. The government doesn’t have the right to tax individuals. There are web sites which prove this. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/157 "2008-06-13T14:51:09Z")
When the huge guy at the bar tells you to not hit on his girlfriend, he only means it allegorically. Week-old seafood is still good even if it smells a bit. Your stomach acid will kill anything bad. It’s just easier to leave junior in the car when you go shopping. Even in August. In Texas. Just keep the windows rolled up so the bugs don’t get in. Jugging with knives is easier _after_ a few drinks to loosen you up. Safety guards are only for people who don’t know what they’re doing. Seat belts actually are harmful. If you’re not wearing one, you’ll get thrown free of the crash, and will only get a scrap or two. Football fans in Britain have great senses of humor. They love people who cheer for their opponent’s team in their pubs. Your wife will appreciate your interest in her and will thank you for noticing that she’s gained some weight. Bonus points for pointing this out in front of her slim friends. Lions in zoos really are tame. They’ve gotten used to humans by now. ---
**Author:** ![masterofnone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@masterofnone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/masterofnone)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/158 "2008-06-13T14:52:35Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] This sounds autobiographical. Did the skin grafts take? [/QUOTE] It wasn’t me, though I was in the cellar hole with the moron when he did it. The bruises I gave him eventually healed, and EOD dealt with the artillery round. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/159 "2008-06-13T15:01:56Z")
To save money when building an elementary school, use substandard materials and skimp whereever possible on the steel. You will save even more money if you build this facility on a fault line on top of sandy soil, in a country with a one-child only policy. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062/160 "2008-06-13T16:06:38Z")
[QUOTE=Paul in Saudi] Don’t let this summer go to Wast! Learn Klingon! [/QUOTE] Y’know, I’ve never been to Wast. Is it nice? Black people are eager to hear your praise of the Confederacy. El Al security personnel secretly love pranks. Canada geese like being picked up and stroked on the backs of their heads. Venomous snakes appreciate a good massage. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-come-up-with-some-bad-ideas/452062.md?page=9)